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S/O: Anon poll about your kids being gay - Page 4

Poll Results: How would you feel if your kids grow up to be gay?

 
  • 6% (49)
    Thrilled--more gay is more better.
  • 62% (492)
    Nonplussed--as long as they're happy, I'm good.
  • 16% (132)
    Okay--I'd rather they were straight, but whatever.
  • 10% (82)
    Disappointed--I think being gay is wrong and I don't want that for my kids.
  • 0% (4)
    Angry--I'm so appalled by considering it that I can't imagine what I'd feel.
  • 3% (24)
    Other, please explain
783 Total Votes  
post #61 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
I wouldn't wish any of the baggage and bs that comes with partnering with men on my kids.
Seeing as men are aprox. half the world's population, I'd say that you should try to meet a wider variety of men. Sounds like you've had some nasty luck.
post #62 of 230
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MiaPia View Post
Totally NOT making fun of the poll.
Oh, you can totally make fun of it. I was in a weird mood when I put it together. I'm like that.
post #63 of 230
What my kids do with their sex lives are none of my business. So I didn't answer thrilled as gay, straight, or otherwise it doesn't matter to me. They are who they are and I love them for that. My answer was nonplussed (or indifferent, as I am interpreting it).
post #64 of 230
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by FancyD View Post
Seeing as men are aprox. half the world's population, I'd say that you should try to meet a wider variety of men. Sounds like you've had some nasty luck.
I don't think that's fair.

Maybe it's not AO's luck that's the issue, but the very low expectations most women have of men.
post #65 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by frog View Post
Maybe it's not AO's luck that's the issue, but the very low expectations most women have of men.
So, it's not that all men aren't bad, is that the women liking them just have low expectations?

Um, I don't think that's a very fair statement, either. :
post #66 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
You know, it would depend. I think if I had a daughter, I'd be thrilled if she were a lesbian, and if I had a son, I'd be happier if he were straight. Why? To keep both of them out of the hands of abusive men.
Quote:
Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
You are far more likely to be abused by someone you are in a relationship with.

And it's not just actual abuse, either. I wouldn't wish any of the baggage and bs that comes with partnering with men on my kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by North_Of_60 View Post
Here we go with the blanket man-hating statements. Some of the nastiest people I've ever had the displeasure of knowing were women, but I wouldn't go so far as to wish a certain sexual orientation on my child to avoid "the baggage and BS that comes with partnering with women".

I don't want my child to be hurt by bad PEOPLE.
Quote:
Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
That's ridiculous. If you look at the statistical evidence regarding violent crime, particularly domestic violence, it's overwhelmingly men who do the violence. And that doesn't begin to get in to how women who partner with men are statistically more likely to have negative feelings about their bodies, do more than their fair share of housework, etc.

I don't make this stuff up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by North_Of_60 View Post
Not ALL men have baggage, and not ALL men are full of BS. Not all men are bad. Period.

Your blanket statement was offensive to me. Please don't call me ridiculous for it either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DragonflyBlue View Post
You might not be make it up, but you seem to try and skew the information.

My sister is gay. She hasn't chosen the best partners... (which I believe she'd have that issue no matter what her sexuality) She's been beaten. She's been violated. She's been made to feel shameful about her body. She's been beaten down by verbal abuse.

Being gay does not preclude you from being in abusive relationships.

Not all men are abusive. Not all women are loving and nurturing. Some folks, men OR women are just asshats.
:
enough enough enough enough enough !!!!
We already know that some members think that having a penis automatically makes someone a big fat juicy abusive jerkwad. Statistically speaking, macro speaking, of course. It's not just getting old, it is old. Really, really dang friggen old. Let's just not go there anymore. Please, I beg.



Quote:
Originally Posted by boodafli View Post
i chose thrilled. it'll mean all the late night indoctrination with ani and the indigo grrls paid off.
And now I'm off to listen to Chickenman over and over until it leaves my head.
post #67 of 230
nonplussed.....they are who they are...
post #68 of 230
I voted #2.

OK, If I'm being completely honest, I would be a teeny-weeny-itty-bitty bit sad if they also decided not to have kids..... because I really want to spoil grandkids someday. But I'd get over that.

As long as they're happy and are surrounded by people who love them, I don't care about their sexuality much at all.
post #69 of 230
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by North_Of_60 View Post
So, it's not that all men aren't bad, is that the women liking them just have low expectations?

Um, I don't think that's a very fair statement, either. :
I know. That was intentional.

Sorry--I'll stay out of it. I just hate to see AO dragged through the muck for something that isn't actually true (that she's just had "bad luck" with men).
post #70 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by frog View Post
I just hate to see AO dragged through the muck for something that isn't actually true (that she's just had "bad luck" with men).
Is sexual preference alone enough to make a person dislike an entire gender? Just because I'm sexually attracted men doesn't by default make women scum of the earth.

And yet, if the tables were turned and I made a comment about not wanting my child having to deal with [insert whatever stereotypical anti-lesbian comment here] from partnering with a woman, OMG, I think MDC would implode.

I don't dig gender bashing, from either side of the coin.
post #71 of 230
I said other for myriad reasons. It's certainly nowhere near the worst thing I can imagine my kids coming to me with, but I wouldn't be dancing for joy and high-fiving them, either. I'll love them no matter who they love and they and any partners they have are always welcome in our home. I don't think I'd let them room together if they stayed the night, just as I wouldn't let unmarried hetero kids room together.

FWIW, my mother's a lesbiand and is still heart-broken my brother is gay. She knows first hand what it means for his life and how he'll be treated and she still hopes someday he'll "change his mind" or at least be bi. I think people assume that GLB are always thrilled if their kids are also GLB and that's not always true.
post #72 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by frog View Post
I don't think that's fair.

Maybe it's not AO's luck that's the issue, but the very low expectations most women have of men.
That's seriously whacked. Low expectations? I have really high expectations of men, and I've still dealt with total a-holes. Way to put it on the women.

Read further...

It's not fair that I said AO had bad luck, but slagging a whole gender is okay? I've met just as many crazy women as I have shitty men. People are people. Some suck, some don't. And I'm dragging AO's comments through the muck, because they're ridiculous. She obviously doesn't have a son.
post #73 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by North_Of_60 View Post
Is sexual preference alone enough to make a person dislike an entire gender? Just because I'm sexually attracted men doesn't by default make women scum of the earth.

And yet, if the tables were turned and I made a comment about not wanting my child having to deal with [insert whatever stereotypical anti-lesbian comment here] from partnering with a woman, OMG, I think MDC would implode.

I don't dig gender bashing, from either side of the coin.
It seems odd to me to wish a particular sexual preference on a child with the intent of preventing them from.... doing more housework? (of course as someone who doesn't necessarily believe that housework should be divided 50/50, this is more difficult for me to understand than it would be for someone who is adamant about "equal" division of labor, I realize).

But then again, different things are important to different people, and our children will make their own choices, of partner and everything else.
post #74 of 230
Oh my...

OK, first, not that it should make any difference, but to be clear: I am partnered with a man.

Secondly, the points I made about men being statistically more likely to be abusers stands, regardless of anybody here and their particular anecdote. No matter what you think, it is true that a person (woman or man) partnering with a woman is less likely to be abused than a person (woman or man) partnering with a man. Look it up if you think I'm delusional.

Third, I don't have a particular personal reason to be "man-hating." I've actually had pretty good relationships with men, all told. That doesn't change the facts about how men AS A CLASS behave in the society in which I live, though. And I do have a stake in being honest about the class politics of gender, and if you are all offended by my being honest about those class politics, I think that's your issue, not mine.

Finally, I reiterate my first statement--I would feel more comfortable with my child, regardless of gender, partnering with a woman versus a man. This is due to the decreased likelihood that partnering would end with my child being abused or treated poorly. Which isn't to say there is no chance that would happen in a partnership with a woman, but that there is LESS chance.
post #75 of 230
I voted #2, but don't care for the negative conotations I think of by the word "nonplussed".

I don't care one way or another as long as they have a bunch of grandbabies for me to spoil.

And wow. I'm amazed at how many voted they'd be angry or disappointed. Really? That's upsetting.
post #76 of 230
Other...

Nonplussed means confused or bewildered, and I wouldn't be. If he's happy and healthy, in a relationship with someone who loves and cherishes him, I'd be thrilled that he found love; just as much as I would be if he were in love with a wonderful woman.
post #77 of 230
I kind of suprised myself when I answered okay. I am bi myself, so I definitely don't have a problem with someone being gay. But if I'm being perfectly honest, I'd rather my child be straight just because it's easier. No worries about being hated or harassed or denied rights for being gay. No dealing with family members deciding he's not part of the family anymore because he's gay. None of that crap.
post #78 of 230
I will be happy for them to be loved and cared for by gentle kind people who they love no matter the gender. I would be a little concerned about glbt rights and hate crimes, but I would be happy for my girls to find love with a caring responsible person who returned that love whole heartedly.
post #79 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by boodafli View Post
i chose thrilled. it'll mean all the late night indoctrination with ani and the indigo grrls paid off.
Ok, this is actully why I kinda sort want my DS to be straight. All the Ani, Indigo Girls, and Sleater-Kinney he will hear over the years just won't have the same impact if he's gay.

:

Actually, I don't care, I just want him to be happy.
And know all the words to Out of Habit. Is that wrong?
post #80 of 230
I said "other," because I really don't care at all. I suspect she'll be bi or queer on some level, just cause my anecdotal evidence is that kid's raised in queer positive homes and communities tend to have more flexible sexuality and gender id than not...

like my friends with queer parents, many of them id as queer, even though a good handful of them still date different gender people.

but, it just don't matter to me.
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