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S/O: Anon poll about your kids being gay - Page 5

Poll Results: How would you feel if your kids grow up to be gay?

 
  • 6% (49)
    Thrilled--more gay is more better.
  • 62% (492)
    Nonplussed--as long as they're happy, I'm good.
  • 16% (132)
    Okay--I'd rather they were straight, but whatever.
  • 10% (82)
    Disappointed--I think being gay is wrong and I don't want that for my kids.
  • 0% (4)
    Angry--I'm so appalled by considering it that I can't imagine what I'd feel.
  • 3% (24)
    Other, please explain
783 Total Votes  
post #81 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by scatterbrainedmom View Post
i would want a grandchild by nature.
so if your one child that was straight (in your first response) turned out to infertile...?? what then? is IVF nature? is adoption nature?


sigh


for myself I'm thrilled if they are happy. how's that?
post #82 of 230
I voted non-plussed. Like I said in the other thread, I'd rather she was a liberal, hippy-dippy queer than a religious conservative. cuz ya know, we would have nothing to talk about then.
post #83 of 230
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by FancyD View Post
That's seriously whacked. Low expectations? I have really high expectations of men, and I've still dealt with total a-holes. Way to put it on the women.
Did you see where I said that it was an intentionally unfair comment that I made? I'm guessing not.
post #84 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by rinnerin View Post
Ok, this is actully why I kinda sort want my DS to be straight. All the Ani, Indigo Girls, and Sleater-Kinney he will hear over the years just won't have the same impact if he's gay.

:

Actually, I don't care, I just want him to be happy.
And know all the words to Out of Habit. Is that wrong?
i know, right? i pretty much use the ani songbook as lullabyes. my kid is almost 3, and she can totally sing the refrains for little plastic castle, both hands, and swing. oh, and closer to fine, least complicated, and get out the map.

this is primarily b/c at 4 in the damn morning, all i can recall are the refrains. :
post #85 of 230
I havent followed this thread, but I voted i dont care just want them to be happy.

That said, I would be concerned for them if they were gay because, if things dont change in this world, they are going to have quite a harder life being gay than straight.

(The "white privelage" discussion comes to mind. There is definatly a "straight privelage" in this country...or world.)
post #86 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
Secondly, the points I made about men being statistically more likely to be abusers stands, regardless of anybody here and their particular anecdote. No matter what you think, it is true that a person (woman or man) partnering with a woman is less likely to be abused than a person (woman or man) partnering with a man. Look it up if you think I'm delusional.
To my knowledge, the reason data is skewed in 'favor' of men in this situation, is because women are more apt to report abuse.

Relationship abuse is perpetuated by women against men all the time. It takes the form of verbal/emotional abuse most often (yelling/screaming, demeaning, putting down, name calling, etc.) but it also often takes the form of covert physical abuse (destruction of property, threats, throwing objects across the room - intimidation).

There are plenty of men in abusive relationships with women. But because of cultural stigma/gender role association, they are MUCH less likely to speak out about it.
post #87 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
Secondly, the points I made about men being statistically more likely to be abusers stands, regardless of anybody here and their particular anecdote. No matter what you think, it is true that a person (woman or man) partnering with a woman is less likely to be abused than a person (woman or man) partnering with a man. Look it up if you think I'm delusional.
Just googling, but all I could find were (a) reports showing straight, gay, and lesbian relationships to all have about an equal percent chance of including domestic violence, or (b) statements that statistics on lesbian domestic violence are not extensive enough to draw any specific conclusions. Nothing saying women partnered with women are statistically less likely to be in an abusive relationship. I'm left curious what you've read otherwise?
post #88 of 230
Not sure how to vote.
With regards only to how I feel about it, I would feel exactly the same as I would feel if they were straight. Either straight or gay is perfectly fine!
But out of concern for my child, I would rather them be straight. We have gay/transgendered friends and life has been, at times, immensely difficult for them because of it.
post #89 of 230
Not sure how to vote.
With regards only to how I feel about it, I would feel exactly the same as I would feel if they were straight. Either straight or gay is perfectly fine!
But out of concern for my child, I would rather them be straight. We have gay/transgendered friends and life has been, at times, immensely difficult for them because of it.
post #90 of 230
Thanks for this poll, frog

I said "thrilled". I didn't address that in the other thread because I lack faith in my ability to explain coherently.
post #91 of 230
Dh and I would both be totally cool and supportive. If our child faces additional challenges because of his/her sexual orientation, we'll be supportive.

I do NOT have a preference and while I would have some concerns for him/her regarding the challenges/stigma/discrimination/unequal rights gays/queers currently deal with, I would not say that I would rather they weren't gay/queer because of this. I would rather the world shaped up, and I'll do (and am doing) my part to make that dream a reality.

It would no more be a disappointment than it would be to by some freak of genetics give birth to a child that had dark skin (dh and I are both light-skinned). It would still be something to celebrate because it is an integral part of that child, that person, and I would not want him/her to feel disappointment (from within or from me/dh) in being who they are. It is the rest of the world's responsibility, and our responsibility as members of it, to insist that all people be treated with respect and equality.

Uh, stepping of my soapbox.
post #92 of 230
Torn, because in this world being gay is harder.

I'm hoping to live on the West coast which is generally pretty tolerant, but who knows?

I wouldn't care about my child being gay, per se, but it would make me more worried for them.
post #93 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2Amira View Post
I voted non-plussed. Like I said in the other thread, I'd rather she was a liberal, hippy-dippy queer than a religious conservative. cuz ya know, we would have nothing to talk about then.
Or too much to talk about.
post #94 of 230
Trying to keep my mouth shut about men. But I agree with those who expressed relief at the idea of said children maybe not having to be intimately involved. I have known some great men. Some awesome men. My father, my grandfathers, my one male cousin. At least one of whom might be gay.

But seriously, I don't blame them for being men to begin with, and what generally comes with that, it is just in their genes. They have evolved the unfortunate ones to be predetermined towards that kind of thing.

Andy Thomson, physiological anthropologist, talked about it this year. It is actually a talk leading toward suicide terrorism but he goes into some of his other stuff about the evolution of men in it. (this is just part 1 of three parts, if you dig make sure to go on to the next two parts...)


http://youtube.com/watch?v=uuipt15s08c

I know, sorry for going back to the negativity.
post #95 of 230
My kids' sexuality is none of my business. If they are happy and leading productive lives of their choice, I will be happy.
post #96 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangebird View Post
Trying to keep my mouth shut about men. But I agree with those who expressed relief at the idea of said children maybe not having to be intimately involved. I have known some great men. Some awesome men. My father, my grandfathers, my one male cousin. At least one of whom might be gay.

But seriously, I don't blame them for being men to begin with, and what generally comes with that, it is just in their genes. They have evolved the unfortunate ones to be predetermined towards that kind of thing.

Andy Thomson, physiological anthropologist, talked about it this year. It is actually a talk leading toward suicide terrorism but he goes into some of his other stuff about the evolution of men in it. (this is just part 1 of three parts, if you dig make sure to go on to the next two parts...)


http://youtube.com/watch?v=uuipt15s08c

I know, sorry for going back to the negativity.
http://www.batteredmen.com/gjdvsto1.htm

It isn't just in 'their' genes.
post #97 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by boodafli View Post
this is primarily b/c at 4 in the damn morning, all i can recall are the refrains. :
:

This is precisly why my DS knows all the words to "Sun Comes Up, It's Tuesday Morning" by Cowboy Junkies. He even corrects me when I try to make the song less, uh, adult. It's the only song I can remember at 3am.

Thank goddess I can't remember "Cheap is How I Feel"

/back to the previosly scheduled thread
post #98 of 230
I chose the "Okay, but I'd rather they were straight" option. I didn't choose it because I think being straight is better. I just think that being straight is probably easier, at least for now and the immediately foreseeable future. I want DD to have the happiest life possible and I think being gay might cause her undue pain in our society.

That said, if she's gay, she's gay. She's still DD and it changes nothing. I'll support her 200% in every way and everything.
post #99 of 230
just to throw in some positive gay male stuff

here is a review of one of my favorite books, "The Soul Beneath the Skin"

Quote:
He identifies seven patterns of behaviour that are common across the gay men's community, but which are almost never acknowledged:

- an extremely low level of public violence;
- high rates of altruistic behaviour;
- robust sexual caretaking;
- friendship patterns of diffuse intimacies;
- friendships with women;
- diverse forms of sexual union;
- and unique forms of bliss and pleasure-seeking (not just sexual)
post #100 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicole lisa View Post
Yeah, in proper terms it means surprised, taken aback. But in American common usage it means not bothered.
Oh wow, I really didn't know that. I thought it meant the opposite, like "put out" or kind of a confused kind of unsettled feeling. I had no idea it could mean that you *weren't* bothered by something. :: giggle :: Glad to know I'm still learning.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'd fine with it. And actually, I don't talk to my children as if I assume they will grow up straight, and my sister didn't with her children either. My daughter has said at least one time that she might end up being gay. My sister's oldest child is 22 now, and there were times when he was growing up when we wondered if he might turn out to be gay, but that appears not to be the case.
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