Breastfeeding and Sex

[JustVanessa]

Mods- Not sure if this is the right forum!

I breastfed my ds for 17 months. The whole time I was bfing I had extreme pain during intercourse. It hurt so bad I had to grit my teeth not to cry.
Doc said it was due to low estrogen.

So I am currently pregnant and we will be breastfeeding. What can I do to avoid my prior circumstances?

The amount of lube doesn't make a difference. It is not a dryness issue. I experience thinning of the vaginal walls. I tried a bunch of different lubes and nothing helped.

I do not want to go back on hormonal birth control while nursing because we plan to have a third child when my body gets a period back.

Suggestions?

TIA because this is something that really has me worried.

[SarahEiley]

BUMP!! I also have this problem currently.....

The fancy name for low estrogen is "atrophic vaginitis" - anyone have experience with this? I am sore and swollen all the time, and like you said, no amount of lube is the cure.

I have very low supply, andI think my body is just working SO hard to make milk for DD that I'm very low in estrogen as well. My midwife gave me a prescription for Premarin cream (estrogen), which helps but ti also makes the low supply issue worse. I told one of my girlfriends that I feel like I have to make a choice between meeting the needs of my baby (nursing) and my husband (sex).

Any advice would be very helpful!!!!!

[3girls1boy]

This is one of those things that is just not talked about. I had some success using a vaginal "moisturizer" called "Replens" (OTC, no hormones) that you can use every day or every week depending on how dry you are. I used it more frequently at first. This if different then KY or some other lube, that is used as needed. This really helped alot. Also my doctor gave me the Premarin cream, which I used mostly externally, because I too was concerned about the hormone issue.

My lack of desire was really the most difficult for my DH to handle. It was better once I got my period back, but often I would not be in the mood, but let him know he just really had to lavish me with attention and then in the end I would be glad I had let myself be "talked" into it!

[jessjgh1]

subbing for any info too. I'm trying something from a natural store like replens, not sure of the name of it. It seems to help somewhat. But i think I need themost help in the desire dept. I did ask midwife, but she just gave me the it takes time answer. So maybe it does.

Last time once we figured out how to work things w/o pain my desire increased a bit, but this time, that's not happening much. It doesn't help that dh doesn't do babies, and I cosleep, so I'm with dd&ds from 7 am till 10:30 pm w/o a guilt free break. Well, sometimes I can get dh to watch R so I can clean up or get ready for bed, but about 15 minutes is his baby limit, and its not to do something fun or stimulating. Thank goodness he's better with toddlers.

Anyways, it is hard to tell what is hormonal and what is just being tired(-; Sorry for the rant.

Jessica

[heidirk]

My desire came back when my mustache grewback in!
So for me it was around 8 mos. and DS wasn't nursing quite so much, and m free testosterone came back up. I know that a woman's testosterone levels can effect her sex drive.
I also heard that having unprotected sex can increase your desire because your body absorbs the testosterone from your partner's semen.

I don't know if that's true or not?

Well, we're 19 mos. PP and still nursing frequently with no problems in the desire department now. I'm sure there's hope!

[elanorh]

My libido is LOW while bfing, although it does increase a bit once I start cycling again. I haven't had to deal with pain/discomfort while having intercourse (although it's not as pleasurable and I haven't had an orgasm while bfing ).

Honestly, if you can figure out how to make it not hurt -- even if it doesn't do anything for you -- that would help a lot (I would give it my all and focus on making it awesome for dh and not focus on the fact that it was doing zippo for me) .... I've told dh that I'm much more interested if I don't have a huge to-do list on hold while we're together, too (he knows that it doesn't do much for me while I'm bfing). So he can help out a bit around the house.

Since my libido is low, and his is unaffected - I have also focused more on doing things for/to him. He'd obviously like me to be 100% with him - but he does appreciate other attention, IYKWIM. That may solve things a bit for you, too.

HTH at least a little.

[chemer]

Just wanted to mention that I tried Replens and it irritated the scar from my 3rd degree tear. I hope you can find something that works...because I want to know too!

[Michelle Renee]

Try the lubricant liquid silk -
It actually felt like ME - no sticky, no perfume just soft and natural

I enjoyed intimacy a lot when I felt uhm moist like usual and wasnt worried about the pain of it.

[RachelGS]

I had that the first time, and then with the second child it wasn't nearly so bad. But getting an est-ring (insert, leave for 90 days) worked well to replenish the estrogen locally.

[JustVanessa]

Originally Posted by RachelGS

I had that the first time, and then with the second child it wasn't nearly so bad. But getting an est-ring (insert, leave for 90 days) worked well to replenish the estrogen locally.

Is that hormonal birth control? I was hoping to avoid birth control because we want to get pregnant again as soon as my period comes back.

Try the lubricant liquid silk -
It actually felt like ME - no sticky, no perfume just soft and natural

I enjoyed intimacy a lot when I felt uhm moist like usual and wasnt worried about the pain of it.

It seriously isn't a lube issue at all. I have tried every kind. Its not dryness, its thinning of the vaginal walls.

[SarahEiley]

I'm bumping this thread AGAIN because over 230 people have viewed it and under 10 have responded... meaning that there are more people out there who are curious/have experience/need advice or could give advice. JustVanessa... i hear you... I have the same problem. Using the Premarin Estrogen has increased my lubrication, but it doesn't make a difference when it comes to the discomfort. I am sore often, even without sex, and become swollen instantly with sex, sometimes so bad that sex it just impossible. I need to call my midwife again. This situation is heartbreaking.

Incidentally, I just started taking Shatavari for my low supply today... it apparently works as an aphrodesiac, so I'm hoping that might be a helpful side effect!!

I feel like there have to be more breastfeeding women out there who have had this experience - why won't they speak up???

[SleepyMamaBear]

coconut oil!!!!!
i'll leave it at that.

[tireesix]

Replens that was mentioned earlier is specially for those with vaginal atrphy, says so on the box lol. I wonder whether something that thickens skin might help somewhat????? maybe something like a Vit A cream, I know you can get this stuff for severe stretch marks but not sure about vagina area.

If you are experieencing this, avoid tthrush creams and pile cream stuff because they also thin the skin......

Wondering whether a local anaesthetic gel might help for now (I used to have to use some for sex also).

http://www.project-aware.org/Managing/Alt/vaginal.shtml

Most of what I find is to do with the menopause

[mothertoall]

I used something I bought at the health food store that had wild yam init, I think....it was wonderful...betterthan anything else ,hands down.
see if you can find some....and I'll look and see if I can post alink to something.

http://www.pangeaveg.com/body-care/c...age_1/545.html

[cdmommie]

I have the same problem, not to mention I had a 4th degree tear, so the scar tissue is a bother too. I just try to focus on my hubby and how happy he is. I also ask him to go real slow so it doesn't hurt quite so bad. I usually soak in a warm bath afterward too... other than that I have no advice, but hang in there you're not alone.

[Natalie143]

i had the mirena in as a form of birth control.. i also experienced painful sex(and am breastfeeding).. i took the mirena out and doctor gave me an oestrogen cream to put on cuz my walls were thin and dry.. used it for a few days and now im back to normal(and not painful anymore!!)

[JustVanessa]

Local anesthetic cream for in the vagina? Anyone know if its available in Canada?
I will be trying the replens and also estrogen cream if I have to.

This is seriously an issue that keeps me up at night. We have a very active sex life right now, and I know that dp will expect it to decrease postpartum, but neither of us is prepared to give up sex.....I am also not willing to sacrifice breastfeeding.

I feel the same as a pp, its like being torn between meeting baby's needs and dp's needs. And we all know who wins that battle (baby).

[Xenarthra]

Oh my gosh, I think you ladies helped me figure out my lack of sex drive/painful sex issues!!

I kept going to the gyno for what I thought was a yeast infection and the drugs (yes, i was desperate enough to take abx) just never solved anything and I ended up more frustrated and afraid that I would never be able to have sex again with my husband without having to cry after every time

Okay, so is premarin cream *truly* safe during breastfeeding and pregnancy? I am just sorta afraid of anything I have to stick up there because I am sooo sensitive right now (and have been since I delivered).

Thanks so much for letting me know this is normal(ish)

[thewaggonerfamily]

BTDT x6! What has worked for us is the premarin/estrogen cream. The 1st baby I was miserable (3rd degree tear, too) and no amount of lube helped. 2nd baby, complained at 6 week appt, CNM suggested Premarin. It worked great and only took about 1 cm dose and < a tube worth to permanently (at least until the next baby!) fix it. I was concerned about the hormones, too. (I wont use hormonal bc because of the abortifacent effects) But it seems to have not caused any problems, although I struggle with an overabundant supply and overactive letdown, so I don't know if it causes low supply problems. For babies 3-6 I asked for the Premarin cream before I let the midwife leave the room after birth.

[babydanielsmom]

Wow I'm so glad I found this thread !!! My ds will be 5 months old and I am (finally)healed from the 4th degree tear but I'm having extreme pain when we try to dtd. I"m sorry we're all in pain, but I'm glad to know that I'm not alone. Next we I go to the OB .... I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that the cream works