Teenage mom is going to nurse!!!

[MarcyC]

I have a friend who is still in high school. She's in her senior year and she's due any day now. She's planning on nursing, but concerned because school only gives her two weeks off. Plus she doesn't have a place to pump. But she's being really positive about it. She does have a small electric (single) pump and I gave her a few "breastfeeding-friendly" (supposedly) bottles (Breastflow bottles). Well, when I gave her the bottles she said, "thanks." She said, "I'm definitely going to need bottles for whoever watches her while I'm in school. But I'm planning on giving her only breastmilk for 9 months and then after 9 months, offering her some baby food in little jars and maybe a little formula." I said, "that's great! You can do it!!" I really hope she succeeds!!!

[art_teachermommy]

hmmm...I really thought that schools are required to provide a place to pump...let me check in on that...

[meganmarie]

I wonder if a doctor could give her a note to the school about breastfeeding and pumping... or if an LC could help her talk to the administration about providing a place to pump, and appropriate breaks in her day. What an awful thing to have to go back to school so soon. I understand its hard to miss out and I'm sure she wants to stick with it and graduate on time which is of course wonderful. But ugh. I don't think I was healed from tearing at 2 weeks, was probably still bleeding a little, and there is no way bf'ing was well established. Ugh.

But it is amazing she is so committed and it is great she has you as a friend to support her.

It might help her to have a book like "Nursing Mother, Working Mother" by Gale Pryor (I know there are others on the topic, but that's the one I read) which deals with making nursing and pumping succeed. Going to school is basically the same thing as working full time. I found the instructions in there invaluable and I would not have known what do do without them. Pumping and storing milk is NOT intuitive!

[waiting2bemommy]

I just had to post because as a young single mother myself I LOVE to hear that someone in similar circumstances is making such a great choice. There are so many stereotypes about young moms...good for her for being different!

BTW, she should check with WIC...I got an avent double electric pump from them free. I also rent a medela pump from the hospital at a reduced rate because of my income. can she pump in the nurse's office or the handicapped bathroom, which is usually private and can be locked? I know it's gross but you do what ya gotta do...I'll probably be pumping in the bathroom at my job as well.

I really wish her the best...please post back and let us know how things go for her!

[Elijahs Momma]

Aww yay!! That's great!

But only 2 weeks? Shouldn't she get more than that? Or maybe she could go on homebound, that's always an option. That way she can finish up her school year and still breastfeed her baby on demand (if she chooses)

But good for her! It's a rare thing to hear someone that young doing it. When my mom had me, she was only 15 and she said the nurses just brought in videos to her about how to bath and diaper a baby. No one even talked to her about breastfeeding!

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Elijahs Momma

Aww yay!! That's great!

But only 2 weeks? Shouldn't she get more than that?

Most of the policies surrounding teen mothers have more to do with punishing them for getting pregnant than for helping them complete their educations and helping their babies be healthy.

This is why teen pregnancy so often leads to dropping out.

Of course, the people who make the policies will claim that they have to have those ridiculous rules and be rigid about implementing them because teen moms are more likely to drop out.

[MarcyC]

I just really really hope she doesn't have any difficulties. I'm having a hard enough time dealing with diifficulties as an adult. I can't imagine how crushing that would be to a teenager's self esteem. I mean, she's only 18, she'll be hormonal...and if BF'ing doesn't work.

When I'm around her I'm really careful to NOT talk about our struggles, but only the positive aspects. I just really want her to be surrounded by positive BF'ing experiences!!

She's started reading mainstream magazines and recently there have been some articles in there about breast v. bottles and women who had struggled and did not choose to overcome them, but rather conceded that bottles were just as good.

She asked me about a few of these articles she's read and I told her that a very high percentage of mom's CAN and DO nurse with no problems and for woman to not be able to nurse (really) is very rare.

I'm really trying to build her up. Neither her mom, nor the baby's father's mom nursed so I'm trying to be positive for her, even though she knows I don't have the ideal nursing relationship.

[jessjgh1]

((Hugs)) that's great!!!
My mom was 19 when she had me, and I was a premie. She had no support to try to breastfeed (from the doctors, family was supportive but far away), and she did try. She is one of my biggest supporters and talks up breastfeeding to everyone she can. She gets really mad when people are negative about it. In fact, she can be a bit aggressive about talking about it, lol.

I know it was one of her regrets-- and I think she was also just relieved that I understood that she tried. Of course, i've also tried to educate her about how much about that and her birth experience was the result of the culture-- so I think she is starting to 'get it'.

But nowadays sometimes it is better for young mothers. It may depend on the hospital and her ob or midwife. You might want to do a little research for her on that. If she has some support around a peaceful empowering birth, it should make breastfeeding that much easier.

Thank you for taking the time to talk to her. I'm sure she needs the support.

Cheers,

Jessica

[Emmeline II]

Though Mothering seems to be drifting lately, it may be better for her to have a subscription to it if you can manage it.

[guestmama9904]

Originally Posted by MarcyC

I just really really hope she doesn't have any difficulties. I'm having a hard enough time dealing with diifficulties as an adult. I can't imagine how crushing that would be to a teenager's self esteem. I mean, she's only 18, she'll be hormonal...and if BF'ing doesn't work.

When I'm around her I'm really careful to NOT talk about our struggles, but only the positive aspects. I just really want her to be surrounded by positive BF'ing experiences!!

She's started reading mainstream magazines and recently there have been some articles in there about breast v. bottles and women who had struggled and did not choose to overcome them, but rather conceded that bottles were just as good.

She asked me about a few of these articles she's read and I told her that a very high percentage of mom's CAN and DO nurse with no problems and for woman to not be able to nurse (really) is very rare.

I'm really trying to build her up. Neither her mom, nor the baby's father's mom nursed so I'm trying to be positive for her, even though she knows I don't have the ideal nursing relationship.

i think it's the right choice for you to not dicuss your breastfeeding problems around your friend who will have a lot stacked against her breastfeeding simply due to the fact that she has to return to school at 2 weeks PP?!? maybe she could consider homeschooling herself or a ged?

i personally was a pregnant teen, got pg at 19, my son was born just after i turned 20 so i narowly missed official "teen motherhood". however i still faced some of the same struggles based on my young age, my unmarried status and my not gone to college yet status as well.

but i was fortunate to have been breastfed myself until age 2.5, had a mom who was AP, had a dad who was even more AP, and i simply always knew when i had children they would be nursed. i also grew up reading my moms copy of Spiritual Midwifery and all her old Mothering mags so that was a plus too! give your friend some old mothering mags, those are the best i think in that they present info not only on successful breastfeeding but also natural birth and the like.

i too second the WIC program for their breastpumps, lactation consultants and free food for moms. also i had state health insurance and got an rx from my midwife for a free medela PIS right after my son was born. and when i needed to see a LC for thrush my state insurance covered everything.

i wish your friend the best breastfeeding experience possible.

also assure her that younger women often have an easy time birthing and breastfeeding. from my young mom friends i have seen this to be true, usually teen moms also have quick labors! our bodies are ready to have children perfectly by about age 15/16 so she is biologically prepped.

[guestmama9904]

Originally Posted by Emmeline II

Though Mothering seems to be drifting lately, it may be better for her to have a subscription to it if you can manage it.

im curious what "drifting" refers to? like the quality or subject of the articles? the staunchness of their breastfeeidng support? not flaming here, just genuinly curious because i subscribe but also have noticed more articles about moms who weren't totally successful at having normal breastfeeding relationships.

[art_teachermommy]

Well poo...
I can't find a single thing about allowing students to pump. Only law giving EMPLOYEES the right to pump at work. I'll bet that it is something that differs from district to disctrict.

Your friend is so lucky to have you supporting her!

Hopefully she can talk to admin about pumping. Maybe she can find a teacher that will let her use the classroom when they aren't in it for pumping.
I tried to encourage a young student I had last year to bf and told her she could use my room to pump. (I have a HUGE open area supply room for art stuff with a locked door and fridge) She ended up never even trying to bf.

WIC does (around here anyway) does give out awesome pumps.

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by arismama!

im curious what "drifting" refers to? like the quality or subject of the articles? the staunchness of their breastfeeidng support? not flaming here, just genuinly curious because i subscribe but also have noticed more articles about moms who weren't totally successful at having normal breastfeeding relationships.

I don't have a subscription but I have been hearing a lot lately about how Mothering seems to be creeping to the mainstream on several subjects, not just breastfeeding.

[emilysmama]

Originally Posted by MarcyC

Plus she doesn't have a place to pump.

Does the high school have a school nurse/nurse's office? She can ask the nurse if it would be okay to pump there. Most likely, the nurse will say yes.

I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions to her other challenges. I really admire her for being so determined to breastfeed.

[meadowmoose]

As a teacher, I had several students who wanted to continue to bf after coming back to school. I tried to support them in any way possible, whether it be offering a place to pump when my classroom was empty, or offering short breaks in class to go to the office and pump. I would suggest that she go talk to her principal and teachers...most would probably be very supportive since she is just trying to do what is best for her babe. It sounds like you are being a wonderful friend to her!

[doctorjen]

When I returned to high school after birthing my first child, it took practically an act of congress to get the ability to breastfeed on my lunch hour. I went to a school with a closed campus, and they would not allow my babysitter to bring my baby to me, nor would they allow me to leave to go to him. I talked with my homebound teacher, my principal, the guidance counselor. Finally, the school nurse took up my cause and told the principal a very involved story about how if I was not allowed to nurse at lunchtime I would be in so much physical pain that I would not be able to concentrate, thus jeopardizing my education. He wouldn't listen to any other reason, but that one worked for some reason. So, I was allowed to leave at lunchtime - but given no extra time. I had a 22 minute lunch period and my babysitter lived 7 minutes away. So, I'd sprint out of school, drive like a maniac, and meet my babysitter at the door and she'd be standing there with my awake and hungry son (she always fiddled with his schedule to have him up and starving for me.) I be unhooking my bra in the doorway, and he'd get 8 minutes to nurse, and then I'd fly back to school. Well, the first week, I was late back to school twice. The next week, the first time I came back late, the teacher I had that period asked me to stay after to discuss my tardy problem. This very nice chemistry and physics teacher said "okay, what's the problem? you cannot be late to my class almost every day." I broke down in tears and sobbed out my story of trying to breastfeed my baby and how the school would not allow me time, etc. Turns out, guy's wife had nursed their children, and was currently nursing a 2 yr old! He was extremely sympathetic and told me to just plan on coming 10 minutes late every day, and to please not tell any kind of administrator anything about this.

So that's the very long story of how I managed to breastfeed for the last 3 mos of high school! My point is, you never know where you might have a champion so tell this young woman to really keep asking around and hopefully she can work something out.

[art_teachermommy]

Originally Posted by doctorjen

When I returned to high school after birthing my first child, it took practically an act of congress to get the ability to breastfeed on my lunch hour. I went to a school with a closed campus, and they would not allow my babysitter to bring my baby to me, nor would they allow me to leave to go to him. I talked with my homebound teacher, my principal, the guidance counselor. Finally, the school nurse took up my cause and told the principal a very involved story about how if I was not allowed to nurse at lunchtime I would be in so much physical pain that I would not be able to concentrate, thus jeopardizing my education. He wouldn't listen to any other reason, but that one worked for some reason. So, I was allowed to leave at lunchtime - but given no extra time. I had a 22 minute lunch period and my babysitter lived 7 minutes away. So, I'd sprint out of school, drive like a maniac, and meet my babysitter at the door and she'd be standing there with my awake and hungry son (she always fiddled with his schedule to have him up and starving for me.) I be unhooking my bra in the doorway, and he'd get 8 minutes to nurse, and then I'd fly back to school. Well, the first week, I was late back to school twice. The next week, the first time I came back late, the teacher I had that period asked me to stay after to discuss my tardy problem. This very nice chemistry and physics teacher said "okay, what's the problem? you cannot be late to my class almost every day." I broke down in tears and sobbed out my story of trying to breastfeed my baby and how the school would not allow me time, etc. Turns out, guy's wife had nursed their children, and was currently nursing a 2 yr old! He was extremely sympathetic and told me to just plan on coming 10 minutes late every day, and to please not tell any kind of administrator anything about this.

So that's the very long story of how I managed to breastfeed for the last 3 mos of high school! My point is, you never know where you might have a champion so tell this young woman to really keep asking around and hopefully she can work something out.

oh my goodness...that is such an amazing story! I'm in tears right now! Horray for teachers who care!

[PatioGardener]

Originally Posted by doctorjen

So that's the very long story of how I managed to breastfeed for the last 3 mos of high school! My point is, you never know where you might have a champion so tell this young woman to really keep asking around and hopefully she can work something out.

WOW! What a great story - thanks for sharing! Your dedication and courage, and the support of your teacher made a heart-warming read. Thanks!

[Mama Poot]

WTH-TWO WEEKS? that's it? That isn't even standard unpaid leave from most jobs! I seriously question the wisdom in that policy.... IMO, the hassles she will likely have to endure with getting time to pump at school aren't worth it. Can she finish her senior year online or at another place? I had several friends go to a satellite school for their senior year because they were fed up with the regular high school. They still recieved a diploma from our high school, they just didn't have to walk through their doors.
I think its wonderful your friend has decided to nurse, and I would hate to see that effort ruined by policies created by an anti-mom/anti-breastfeeding culture. I had my first kid when I was 20, and even though I'd had some college education and was married, I still got treated like crap. That's why I'm wondering if an alternative schooling situation would be better for your friend.

[jazzybaby9]

I'm considered a teen mama and I returned to school 2 weeks after giving birth and I'm STILL nursing. DD is 4 months now and I pump enough to keep my supply up....

She can do it!