the importance of greens vs. creating power issues

[sunbaby]

i dont know, this almost seems like it could be in the health and healing forum, but its a behavior issue too, so i put it here, moderater pls move it if you think it goes better somewhere else...

dd is nearly 3. way back when she first started eating solids, i was awsome about getting greens into her at almost every meal. i creatively mixed them into just about everything, and she had either not developed her picky side or just didnt know any different, because she gobbled them happily. good thing because she had health concerns so diet was a biggie.

then at some point, when she was a little less than two, her health was good and stable. so i kinda slacked off, let her eat more 'regular' american food, partly because she was around more kids who ate that way and she wanted some of what they had, also because i got kinda tired of spending every waking hour in the kitchen. (by regular food i mean more refined carbs such as crackers and lotsa fruit- NOT burger king or anything like that.)

gradually, over time, she has become less and less willing to eat vegies, finally canceling them out completely. she tantrums intensely if there is anything green on her plate, even pesto. so far, her health is still good.

so what do you think? do i go back to offering only foods that contain greens and hope that hunger will finally drive her to eat? that feels like force to me, which isnt comfortable. and i am concerned about creating power issues around food, esp. because eating disorders have effected much of my own life. so i am just waiting it out, hoping that because she sees us eating greens, eventually she will too. but i do wish she was getting those green nutrients and fiber now. WWYD?

[mamaduck]

I would not engage in the power struggle at mealtimes.

What I would do is try to offer greens in situations where her pattern of refusal is not already established. One thing that has brought us GREAT success is actually growing greens, or visiting someone who is growing greens, and letting the kids harvest and wash it themselves. They get very excited about it then and then chow down. I also offer veggies as snacks through the day... as they are passing by I might say, "Hey, would you like to share a bowl of brocolli and dip with me? Look, they look little little tiny trees!" My 3 yo. likes very tiny peices of the brocolli flower at a time, so I break it up for him. He calls them "Baby brocs."

For some odd reason, they like frozen peas too. Not warm, but actually hard and frozen. They think this is a great treat.

Another thing we did was introduce them to the movie "The Land Before Time." The dinos talk through the whole movie about eating "green food." After that, both my kids wanted "green food like a dinosaur."

Good luck!

[sunbaby]

thankyou, mamaduck. do you know what flabbergasts me? we have a garden, and dd LOVES to help me care for and harvest the greens, then wash and prepare them. but she still locks up when i offer them to eat.
i will try the frozen peas- dd loves to eat frozen stuff. and i will keep my eyes open for green eating role models, too. it doesnt matter to her a bit that i eat tons of greens but dinosaurs are way cooler than i am.

[malamamama]

My dd is not a greens eater either, even tho dh and I eat them on a regular basis.
She loves those frozen peas tho!!!! And frozen corn.
Sometimes she will eat raw carrot and oven fried potatoes. That is the extent of her veggies right now.
She will try almost anything, but usually spits it out, so I have hopes that eventually she will outgrow this. I just try not to freak out about it. And I give her nutritional yeast, so that I know that she is getting a few B's. Everytime I open an avocado, she also asks to try it, but spits it out again.....
I was inspired by Dr. Sears to begin teaching about nutrition by talking about what are "grow foods" and what are "fun foods". Dd is so into it! Always asking and talking about what is what. I have faith that eventually she will be a wholesome eater!!!

[Cloverlove]

I wouldn't get into a power struggle, but maybe you could be a master of disguise? Zucchini bread, dal, blended soup, shredded veggies on pizza (under the cheese, of course!) smoothies with spirulina, etc.

Since you have laid such a great foundation her body will want vegetables again.

[merpk]

My 3yoDD also will not eat anything green. Literally. Even green lollipops get rejected because "they're green."

A few weeks back DS#1 talked her into tasting a bit of honeydew melon ... which she'd rejected, of course, because "it's green." It took a half-hour of cajoling (a 5yo brother's cajoling is different than mama's nagging, I guess :LOL) and she was very happy that she liked it so much.

And that was the last green thing she ate. And if we ask her to have [veggie/green food] she'll say, "But I ate the green melon already."

:

Honestly, I think she got this from TV. "Arthur," to be exact. DW also does not eat anything green, or something like that. :

[NJMama]

We have the frozen pea thing going on too! And I thought we were unique

Homemade pesto and spinach tortolini are the only 2 greens (besides kiwi and green grapes) that my ds will eat right now.

This too shall pass

[malamamama]

I just remembered another green that dd LOVES....Nori (seaweed). Only if it is a freshly opened package tho. It gets too chewy after being opened awhile.

[sparklemom]

Just a quick vote for the "make NO issue of it"

Making an issue out of food is a direct route to power struggles and eating disorders. Let it go. She'll be the healthier for it.

[Britishmum]

Sparklemom "Making an issue out of food is a direct route to power struggles and eating disorders."



I just printed this off and put it on dh's desk. After dinner yesterday with some very mainstream friends, he started to doubt that we were right about not making a deal out of dd's eating, or not eating, of foods that were served. True, she refused to eat anythign but veggies for the main course, (which contained meat, which she detests) but she was also the only child to refuse the gunky dessert and ask for yoghurt instead, after we were the only parents to not comment about what she'd eaten (or not) for her main course. All the others got the warnings about 'eat x spoonfuls or no dessert' blah blah. We just ignored it and let dd make the choice.

Sometimes it's hard not to 'do' things to our children, but I agree that with food, 'doing something about it' and making an issue is potentially a road to disaster.