I know many of us deal with this, but argh, I'm ticked (again) at SIL! 
:
My family by and large gets the whole allergy thing. Sometimes they forget that a food has an allergen in it, but immediate apologies, ask what we could substitute, etc. I mean, they really do try to make sure that there are safe foods for Ina (and for me and SJ) when we have gatherings etc.
DH's family - not so much. SIL and FIL/step-MIL alternate between:
a. Completely forgetting that there are allergies at all
b. Assuming that all I and the girls can eat is rice
c. Being very bothered by our rudeness in not eating the allergenic foods they want (at their home or in restaurants).
GMIL actually told us that she wouldn't "tolerate that" if Ina were her child.
Like, what would she do -- just let her have an ana reaction and move on?? Come on! 
Anyway, we've learned that we need to just bring our own food/snacks when there are IL gatherings; and that we should simply say we'd like to eat at X restaurant, without mentioning that it's because they have "known safe" foods on the menu for the girls/me [because if that's the reason, they won't want to go; SIL acts embarassed about me clarifying our order with the waiter/waitress, too].....
SIL's babe actually reacted to cow's milk too, so she even eliminated for awhile while bfing her .... I guess I thought that she finally "got it" in terms of what living with a food allergic child/infant was like.
But, today, while talking with dh about our upcoming visit to her town, she wanted to know why we wanted a hotel with microwave/fridge in the room. When dh said, "Well, we need to be able to make breakfast for dw and the girls - it's hard to get breakfast without eggs and milk, you know" -- she said, "Oh, you're still avoiding those? I forgot." Then got all snitty and hung up on him.
I just get so tired of the girls and their allergies being treated like some sort of plot to make their (ILs) lives miserable. I don't know if we need to talk about it more (as we pretty much don't) so that they remember that the girls have allergies; or if we should just quit talking about it at all.
As it is, even though we're in the same town, Ina is only just now going over to spend much time with her grandparents, as it wasn't 'til recently that she was old enough to remotely monitor her own food to make sure it didn't have eggs in it (that, and the epi we got at our allergist's appointment seems to have had a little impact for them). And we still send a ton of food with her, just in case they want to feed her something.....
:My family by and large gets the whole allergy thing. Sometimes they forget that a food has an allergen in it, but immediate apologies, ask what we could substitute, etc. I mean, they really do try to make sure that there are safe foods for Ina (and for me and SJ) when we have gatherings etc.
DH's family - not so much. SIL and FIL/step-MIL alternate between:
a. Completely forgetting that there are allergies at all
b. Assuming that all I and the girls can eat is rice
c. Being very bothered by our rudeness in not eating the allergenic foods they want (at their home or in restaurants).
GMIL actually told us that she wouldn't "tolerate that" if Ina were her child.
Like, what would she do -- just let her have an ana reaction and move on?? Come on! Anyway, we've learned that we need to just bring our own food/snacks when there are IL gatherings; and that we should simply say we'd like to eat at X restaurant, without mentioning that it's because they have "known safe" foods on the menu for the girls/me [because if that's the reason, they won't want to go; SIL acts embarassed about me clarifying our order with the waiter/waitress, too].....
SIL's babe actually reacted to cow's milk too, so she even eliminated for awhile while bfing her .... I guess I thought that she finally "got it" in terms of what living with a food allergic child/infant was like.
But, today, while talking with dh about our upcoming visit to her town, she wanted to know why we wanted a hotel with microwave/fridge in the room. When dh said, "Well, we need to be able to make breakfast for dw and the girls - it's hard to get breakfast without eggs and milk, you know" -- she said, "Oh, you're still avoiding those? I forgot." Then got all snitty and hung up on him.
I just get so tired of the girls and their allergies being treated like some sort of plot to make their (ILs) lives miserable. I don't know if we need to talk about it more (as we pretty much don't) so that they remember that the girls have allergies; or if we should just quit talking about it at all.
As it is, even though we're in the same town, Ina is only just now going over to spend much time with her grandparents, as it wasn't 'til recently that she was old enough to remotely monitor her own food to make sure it didn't have eggs in it (that, and the epi we got at our allergist's appointment seems to have had a little impact for them). And we still send a ton of food with her, just in case they want to feed her something.....
