I just don't get how taking, what? 2 minutes? less? to throw together a sandwich or put on some water for pasta is "bending to every whim."
To me, modelling flexibility and generosity are more important. Meeting my child's hunger cues are more important than teaching lessons about what I will or will not do.
And 99% of the time my kids are eating what's served, as well. (FWIW, I mostly do have to make them separate meals b/c of severe food allergies. Making one meal for all of is a luxury).
So for those rare times when they're just not feeling the dinner I've made them, I can't see not offering up something else. I'm not going to start roasting a duck or pull out the food processor, but some pasta or microwaving some chicken nuggets just doesn't seem like that big a sacrifice so my kids can feel nourished. It's an act of service given out of love, for me, in many ways. I just can not imagine telling them, "No, sorry, guys. That's it. Take it or leave it." Their mouths would hang open in disbelief and I know it would hurt their feelings. Just like it would hurt mine if someone I loved and relied on to feed me did it to me.
Yeah that. We also have food allergy issues here too. Making one meal is definitely a luxury. My husband and I like spicy food too so we don't expect the kids to eat that. We only keep a couple of pieces of candy in the house for the emergency sweet tooth craving (for me or the kids), otherwise there is no other junk food in the house.