TTC after miscarriage

[snoopy13]

i am going through a miscarriage and i thought i would stay off this message board for a while but it has been so helpful. and i just realized i have all sorts of questions about TTC after a M/C.

if you want to share your experiences, please do.

how long did you wait? how long did it take your cycle to become regular again? did you feel different during the 2WW and if/when you conceived?

is there anything you would have done differently during or after the m/c?

please also feel free to PM if you prefer.

sadly,

JD

[megincl]

here's our experience (caveat that katie was pregnant, so she'll probably add something different than me later):

we had two very early miscarriages last year: one on new year's eve and one on our ds's bd. lovely. the first was quite painful to go through, mostly because we had really begun to plan out life with the idea that we'd have a new babe in september, a new babe with us this past most recent christmas, etc. it's so so hard to realign your brain once you've set it all up with expectations, excitement, etc.

both mcs happened naturally. we wanted to get right back on the ttc bandwagon, but were advised to wait a cycle. i'm glad we did, because the post-mc cycle each time was SUPER long and even crazier than katie's normally crazy cycles. her first period after was also slightly heavier than normal.

the 2nd mc happened the next cycle we were able to try after the first. we reserved super high hopes and dealt with that one very differently. we did see the doc, though, to figure out if anything was going on. katie got a sonohystogram to be sure everything was ok in her uterus. it was important for us to do that to check things out and be sure there wasn't anything physical causing things. the doc said he only worries after 3 mcs. not super comforting, but sort of.

the next time we were able to try, we didn't get preg at all. which was sort of a relieving change -- to know it just didn't happen that cycle. phew! same the next time. super hard to wait, but no sadness or loss.

i think, if i had been able, i would have allowed a bit more time for grief around the first mc as opposed to hoping right away to jump into trying again. but that is so hard as waiting is the hardest thing about this whole ttc process. not sure what else....the second one really helped us to cherish the son we do have and to enjoy him in a different way, which was actually nice.

hugs and healing,
megin

[Chancita]

Sharing experience

Hi,
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. This is the first place that I ever saw angel babies and that touched me.
I had one mc my first insemination and felt emotionally devastated. It is hard, no matter when it happens.
We were advised by our specialist that there was no reason to skip a cycle, so we didn't, even though our initial inclination was to wait a cycle.
I conceived the second cycle and supplemented with progesterone troches, just in case it was a progesterone issue.
Good luck, whatever you decide... just wait until it feels right for you.
hugs,
chance

[2happymamas]

DW and I just lost our first baby a little over two months ago on Thanksgiving. I was just over 13 weeks pregnant. I seriously felt as though I got hit by a truck emotionally. It was not pretty for a week or so around our place. I still get kind of funny around pregnant women, especially ones due around the time our babe would have been due.

That being said, I bled for about a week or so in the days after the baby died. My first period came back about a month after the miscarriage bleeding stopped. I did not inseminate that cycle, per the request of the RE and our midwife. I had some very high intensity stress that was due to end at the first of the year and the MW did not want me to get pregnant again until after the initial stress passed (completing grad school, buying and renovating a new home, selling a home, and starting a new job). All at once.

I am currently on CD27 and expect my period to start within a few days. Once it does, I will start Clomid and plan an IUI around Valentine's Day. All in all, the miscarriage started on Thanksgiving and we will be ready to inseminate again on Valentine's Day. The RE actually said we needed to have one full cycle before trying again. And here we are, waiting for AF to start. I have never been so excited and eager for her to come. I just know we are going to get twins.

I am so sorry for your loss. It is not easy. Try to allow yourself to experience and embrace any emotions that may come.

[2happymamas]

I would also recommend checking out the pregnancy loss forum, especially the thread for women who have recently had a MC. There is another thread specifically for women who are trying to get pregnant after a miscarrige. A great group of women hang out over there.

Jill

[ktcl]

I think Megin said most of it in her post, but I had to just weigh in. I agree with PP that the pregnancy loss forum was helpful. In part, it was helpful because I saw that my loss at one week was very different from those who lost much further along. Eventhough doctors will say you can go for it right away, two acupuncturists recommended waiting. One, who tends to be a bit more by the book in terms of chinese medicine said it is important to wait at least 6 months. Of course, I did not want to hear that, and ignored it. But I think the main reason not do inseminate right away the next cycle is because it is such an unpredictable cycle.

good luck, and big hugs... i know it is so hard.