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child wiped nose on my dress

post #1 of 77
Thread Starter 
A child in the playground wiped her nose on my dress. I know the child and her parents. SHe is 7 so I think she is old enough to be told that she should not do this. However I did not say anything to her or her parents. I would have liked to, if I knew how / what to say, but since I did not, I figured it probably won't happen again and why make an issue of it. On the other hand I want to be prepared in case it does happen again what to say to the child and/or her parents.

TIA
post #2 of 77
I would probably crack up laughing if a seven year old wiped her nose on my dress.

That said, you could keep a hanky in your bag or pocket and say something like, "Oh, you don't have to do that. You are welcome to use my hanky/tissues any time you want, just let me know."

I don't know if that is GD appropriate, as I do not have children and I don't think I would make an issue of it. Once I am around kids (of all ages), I pretty much accept the inevitable onslaught of bodily fluids.
post #3 of 77
Well, it could happen again because she thinks it's ok to do so.

How about, "Oh honey, let's use a tissue instead of my dress (clothes) that way the icky germs can go right in the trash when your done."

Or,

"Dresses are for wearing, tissues are for blowing noses sweetie. Here's a tissue."
post #4 of 77
I absolutely think that 7 is old enough to know better!
I think that is gross. Sure, if a child sneezes unexpectedly on you, that's understandable. I agree, kids bring along tons of opportunity for contact w/ "fluids". But purposely wiping a nose on a dress, that's *gross*, IMO.
I would have said/would say next time: "Please don't do that. If you need a tissue, I can surely get you one!"
post #5 of 77
I don't think it's anti-GD to let someone know you don't want her wiping her nose on your dress ... I'd also say something if another child was putting her bodily fluids on my child -- as in, "Yuck! we don't want that on our clothes!"

Normally I believe in leaving it up to parents to address their children's misbehavior -- but when they're doing something directly to me or mine, I'm sure going to say something.
post #6 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
I don't think it's anti-GD to let someone know you don't want her wiping her nose on your dress ... I'd also say something if another child was putting her bodily fluids on my child -- as in, "Yuck! we don't want that on our clothes!"

Normally I believe in leaving it up to parents to address their children's misbehavior -- but when they're doing something directly to me or mine, I'm sure going to say something.
Ditto. At 7 there is nothing wrong with telling the child not to do that...

Shay
post #7 of 77
Wow. She must really trust you. I'd say, I'd rather you not wipe your nose on me. Would you like a tissue and a cup of tea?
post #8 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by shayinme View Post
Ditto. At 7 there is nothing wrong with telling the child not to do that...

Shay
I don't even think it's wrong to say it to a younger child: If you say nothing, they're liable to think it doesn't bug you.
post #9 of 77
Unless the child has special needs. I know my 4.5 yo will wipe her face/nose.. whatever... on anything nearby. Over christmas she ruined someones white suede coat by wiping her candy cane face on it.
post #10 of 77
I would have said, "Ew, don't wipe your nose on me."
post #11 of 77
Bleah. I agree that it is gross and way out of line. I would have said "Don't wipe your nose on me--get a tissue!"
post #12 of 77
Thread Starter 
I know! It's gross isn't it??
Why did I say nothing?

1) it was a fly-by wipe while playing freeze tag. like she was just rubbing her nose on the run. She was gone before I realized what had happened. Id have had to call her, remind her of what she did, and then say, "dont do that ..."
2) i didnt want to embarass her or her mother in front of the others.

But from now on I shall carry extra hankies and be prepared for such situations.
post #13 of 77
Yeah, "ACK! Don't do that!" would have been my response.

Blorf.
post #14 of 77
But, I'm wondering if the snarky responses would be appropriate to say if one is looking for a GD response?
post #15 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheery View Post
I know! It's gross isn't it??
Why did I say nothing?

1) it was a fly-by wipe while playing freeze tag. like she was just rubbing her nose on the run. She was gone before I realized what had happened. Id have had to call her, remind her of what she did, and then say, "dont do that ..."
2) i didnt want to embarass her or her mother in front of the others.

But from now on I shall carry extra hankies and be prepared for such situations.
That seems kind of weird, and like she might have some special needs? I can see my nephew doing that, and he has some sensory issues and other stuff going on, mostly what I would call boundary issues. I think the best approach for him is always very clear, non-blaming, non-shaming information, kind of like the pp who said, "Kleenexes are for noses, dresses are for wearing. Let's ask someone for a Kleenex," or whatever. Especially because he's very bright and can learn, but that stuff does NOT come naturally to him.
post #16 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheery View Post
.....But from now on I shall carry extra hankies and be prepared for such situations.
I don't think any adult should have to carry hankies on the off chance that some errant child, somewhere in the world, might rub snot on her clothes. What the child did was wrong-- and there's no excuse unless the child had some learning or developmental disability. (Thank heaven the average 7 year old one encounters knows better than to use someone else's clothing for facial tissue.) If this child does this to you again, you need to tell the child to use a tissue. Then you need to inform the parents. If she feels free to do this to you, can you imagine what other things she might be doing to/with others? Her lack of awareness about boundries may put her in danger at some point. Her parents need to be on the lookout for serious boundry issues so that they can keep her safe, if that turns out to be what is needed.

xoe
post #17 of 77
wow.
harsh.
I'm glad the mama whose coat my dd ruined didn't have a reaction like that.
post #18 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by elspethshimon View Post
I would probably crack up laughing if a seven year old wiped her nose on my dress.

That said, you could keep a hanky in your bag or pocket and say something like, "Oh, you don't have to do that. You are welcome to use my hanky/tissues any time you want, just let me know."

I don't know if that is GD appropriate, as I do not have children and I don't think I would make an issue of it. Once I am around kids (of all ages), I pretty much accept the inevitable onslaught of bodily fluids.
Wow, that is pretty awesome! I love how relaxed you are. You are so ready to have children!

I would be pretty freaked out if any of the seven-year-olds in my life did that, because it's not really age-appropriate and I would be worried. Sidling up and getting close, yes--nose wiping, no. So I would have said something gentle like what you say, but then I would have wanted to talk with the parents about it. When younger children get close to me and hug me and stuff, I don't worry. So far no one has wiped his or her nose on me.
post #19 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by Potty Diva View Post
But, I'm wondering if the snarky responses would be appropriate to say if one is looking for a GD response?
I guess I didn't think the responses were snarky or non-GD.

I think authentic responses (within reason, obviously) and letting people know that you want them to stop a behavior immediately or not do it again are within GD.

My response to a 3 year old would probably be softer. But a 7 yr. old? I can't imagine needing to say anything other than, "Please don't do that." Barring special needs, they mostly know that kleenexes are for noses. Three year olds, not so much.
post #20 of 77
I asked dp what she would do ('cause she's the best mother in the entire wide world.) She shrugged and said, "I'd figure it was an accident. And I wouldn't want to embarrass the kid. Unless it was [our 8 year old autistic friend]. And then it's not like saying something would matter."

So OP....the best mother in the world would treat it the same way you did....like an accident in the middle of a rousing game.
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