I hope this goes here!

[justmeandfamily]

I am not sure if this is the right spot for this but....
I am due in May and I was a backup plan in case I get a c/section again. DH has agreed that he will not leave the babie's side at any moment but I want to give him a one sheet "encourager" for when the nurses give him false info about formula and needing to feed it right away (like our last 2 experiences). I trust him whole heartedly but he has a big emotional side and if they prey on that then he will surely cave
I was wondering do you have any one liners or just facts I could put on a sheet for him to carry and study and have at the time of birth?

I plan on putting on there:
Baby does not have to eat right away, they are fine for up to a day, sometimes longer without formula.
Jaundice doesn't mean we HAVE to supplement with formula.

I hope I make sense in what I am looking for....

I want to just tell him to say, "If even one drop of formula gets within one foot of our baby we will sue your buns off, so back off!!"

But that doesn't guarantee cooperation

Also, do I need to have a sheet signed so that DH will not just be laughed at because he isn't the mom? One time he was told that they needed to check with me first?!?!?!
Thanks!

[Carlyle]

How about--formula is BAD for babies--it irritates their intestinal lining, which can take a long time to repair (even on a diet of only breast milk)

[PatioGardener]

And how about only ONE bottle of formula can change the intestinal bacteria for over 2 full weeks.

[sapphire_chan]

How about a t-shirt for your dh:
If my baby gets formula, my wife will kill me!

[justmeandfamily]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

How about a t-shirt for your dh:
If my baby gets formula, my wife will kill me!

I love this idea!

Also I have read about the reaction of the babe's gut to formula I think I will add it too the list!

[JamieCatheryn]

Also: Especially in the first month, a bottle or pacifier could make it much harder to establish breastfeeding because baby learns to suck differently.

[llamalluv]

I think that trying to use only logic (information) on your husband is not going to be the most effective tactic.

Play to his weaknesses as strengths. In this case, his emotional side, would work VERY well. Stress the importance that both the baby and YOU, his wife, are DEPENDING upon him.

And then the sheet you are working upon is going to add to that. You should also add on the list that the first few days a mother produces no milk, but the very important colostrum is produced, and that is not replicated in formula.

[mamajake]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

How about a t-shirt for your dh:
If my baby gets formula, my wife will kill me!

:

And "birth plan, birth plan, birth plan." List what you do and don't want to happen to your baby including how it will be fed. Have it signed by both parents and notarized (notarizing doesn't really make any legal difference but it makes hospital staff pay attention to it). Bring several copies so at least one ends up in your file and one in the baby's (my first one was ignored because they claimed it went into my file so no one with the baby saw it).

I was totally unprepared for my first c/sec and it was horrific. I didn't see my son until he was 9 hours old (he latched briefly but had already been given formula without my consent) and by 12 hours he was in the NICU for no particular reason and I had some radioactive I.V. for a scan to look for the cause of my multiple post-surgical complications. I was told I could not give my son my milk because of the I.V. solution so had to pump and dump for day 2 of his life. My first son didn't really get a chance to nurse until he was three days old. Though he did then exclusively breastfeed for 18 months and nursed quite a lot until he was over 4, I am a bit of a psycho when it comes to hospital staff.

The T-shirt is a really good idea. I found that standing by me while I had c/secs had a lobotomizing effect on my husband. I recommend hiring a doula and being very clear that if you end up with a c/sec that she is assigned to stay with the baby. My doula "forgot" to go with the baby after my second c/sec (attempted HBAC gone south). My husband had learned his lesson and followed the baby (I yelled "don't let the baby out of your sight" at him - that probably helped). By c/sec #3, I didn't have to growl at him - he knew what had to be done. Also by c/sec #3, my birth plan had a section in it saying that any deviation from the plan without written consent of a parent would result in a lawsuit for assault. As I was being wheeled into the O.R., the doc told me that the NICU staff refused to care for my son after the surgery unless I crossed out that part of my birth plan (I was 35 weeks). I said something like "you realize I am now under duress and even if I cross this out I can still sue you?" He said "yes" and I crossed it out.

I have never discussed this with other c/sec moms so I don't know if my situation is at all representative but my husband felt torn and didn't know whether I needed him to stay with me more than go be with the baby. I had to be really clear with him after my first c/sec that there was nothing he could do to make me feel better about my birth experience while I was splayed out having my organs put back in. I had to know the baby was safe and would only know that if I was sure he stayed with the baby and we were absolutely clear about what we did and did not want done to him.

Back to notes to hospital staff, I also made sure to bring a Sharpie so we could write "EXCLUSIVELY BREASTFED - DO NOT GIVE FORMULA" on the identity card on that baby bucket thing as well as all over the medical chart.

[art_teachermommy]

I like the idea of a reminder sheet for your husband! And good ideas from the others too!

here's another idea...i made a sign for the nurses in case my LO had to be taken (which thank goodness he not once left my side)
the little note said:
Dear Nurses,
While I'm staying here please don't offer me any artifical nipples, sugar water or formula. I am learning to nurse! If I become hungry my mommy will be really happy to feed me!
love,
baby Hayden

[amandaleigh37]

I think the note on the isolette is a good idea. Or just very clearly post something like "Nothing in baby's mouth except mommy!"

[MamaVolpe]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

How about a t-shirt for your dh:
If my baby gets formula, my wife will kill me!

I second that and a onsie for the baby that says "No Formula for ME"

[babylove2007]

I second that on a birth plan, but hospitals often ignore those. I kept saying I wanted to exclusively breastfeed but was told that bottles (of Similac Advance with Iron, which I'm convinced contributed to his milk allergy and reflux) were required because "it's this or a starving baby." I was looked at as if I had 2 heads and a tail when I said I wanted to nurse exclusively and was told that most exclusively breastfed c-section babies end up in the hospital dehydrated because colostrum is insufficient food. :roll: Many of my friends with vaginal deliveries had the same experience--told that the babies were born hungry and that after 24 hours if they hadn't nursed well, they needed Similac. this staff just isn't educated about any of this.

That being said, I think that in addition to birth plan, your husband needs to be educated as well, and your child should room in with you if at all possible.

I think that my husband not being aware/aggressive enough coupled with DS not rooming in with us contributed to the problem. If he had roomed in, we could have nursed at night--I made the mistake of having him stay at the nursery since my recovery was so painful and I couldn't just roll over at night. Next time, DH will be there to hand him/her to me.

Also, I didn't educate my DH about how first-time bottles are a no-no, so he said nothing when the first thing they did when DS came out was give him a 1.5-oz bottle. :roll:

I was also almost denied the right to nurse DS in the recovery room--and LAUGHED at to boot by some young nursing student intern for even wanting to--but another nurse advocated for us so I got to at least try.

[stockingup99]

http://www.naba-breastfeeding.org/images/Just%20one.pdf

The link above discusses why just one bottle is bad. Have him read it ahead of time. Maybe cut a few reasons out and tape them all around...

[SashaBear]

HMM My NICU baby didn't eat at all for over 48 hours. She did get fluids to prevent hydration. I think the whole "starving" baby is bull!

[LiLStar]

Read your consent form very carefully before signing, and make any necessary revisions. Mine was divided up into sections, with a place to check yes/no, with yes already checked. The section about care of the baby states: (reworded by me, per the UA) "I voluntarily consent to routine medical and diagnostic procedures and treatment of my baby by hospital staff, as is necessary by the judgement of the attending physician" We checked NO! And wrote in specifically what we did not consent to. I made sure every person who entered my room had a very clear understanding of this. They eventually came to me with a hand written waiver for a few of those things (I have a copy next to me that I just tried to read, and its extremely bad handwriting) basically stating that I refuse erythromycin, vit k, and admittance to the nursery.