I totally understand how you feel. This past october, we had to attend my brother's wedding in san diego (the wild fires broke out while we were there), we paid for transportation (flight for four from midwest and rental car), my parents paid for our hotel (they paid for the hotel for all the relatives from my dad's side). We were not able to see some sights due to the fires, everyone was sick with the flu the entire time, I spent the entire trip doing laundry, b/c the kids threw up every night (and I am sure the hotel hated us), including on the way to the airport, all over the carseat and everything. It was just lovely.
While my DH and I are happy for my brother and sil, the tripped pretty much sucked, plus we dipped into our savings for that trip. FTR, they did not have to get married in san diego, they just didn't want to get married in the midwest. They were upset that many of their friends were unable to attend their wedding since he majority of the ppl they know (including themselves) reside on the east coast.
Well, we are going through the same crap again for my OTHER brother's wedding next month. I am not sure if my parents are paying for the hotel or not (although I know they are paying for the relatives' hotels again), I always get ratty treatment from my parents. We will be driving four states away and the hotel rooms in this very expensive east coast city are expensive, even the, "cheap" hotels are expensive. What is irritating is that both my brother and fsil's parents are both in the same city here in the midwest, but my fsil decided that all of the venues here are, "boring" so she decides to pick one of the most expensive cities on the east coast to have her wedding at, and she decides to do it at a national chain hotel. Almost all of their guests will be from the midwest, but instead, now everyone is having to travel a long distance to attend their wedding. I'm also not thrilled, b/c in march there is still a chance of bad winter weather, if the weather is bad, we're just going to cancel. Once again, we are dipping into savings to attend this wedding. I'm just waiting for the kids to get the flu again and have another lovely (ie: barfy) trip again.
I guess I am resentful, b/c when I had my wedding I had it in the, "boring" midwest and we went out of our way to be considerate of our guests, b/c my parents made such a big deal about it (apparently, it's now ok to them that my brothers not be that considerate). My wedding also did not cost a fortune like either of my brothers' weddings (what is it about ppl spending globs of $ on weddings these days????), and I do not enjoy traveling with a toddler and preschooler so I can understand TOTALLY your feelings, and I can understand why you don't feel, "lucky" to go on this trip.