How I was MISTREATED today... - Page 3

[Celticqueen]

Originally Posted by llamalluv

You're just going to give yourself a headache.

Yes, IN THIS CASE, she was able to leave. She was also able to sit on the floor. She was also able to say, "Hey, get your badonkadonk out of my seat." In another situation? It's not always that simple. Certainly not as simple for her to just sit on the floor, because, unlike you, it DOES phase her.




Where was I going with this? I thought I was clear. You picking up on the scenario I was posing and telling me that *I* could "just leave" in that situation is simply silly, considering all the facts.

Thank you for defending me

-Caitrin

[mommydancer]

actually, I think it IS about lactivism...

I think in that situation it wouldn't have been at all rude to ask whomever took your seat as you were briefly standing to please let you have it back until your child has finished eating...then they can have it. No one who has ever tried to feed a heavy child while standing would have stayed seated in this situation. I am sorry I wasn't at this party. I think this post wasn't in the wrong place, because if you'd had a broken leg, I actually think somebody would have surrendered their seat.

Sometimes in society, people say, "hey, aren't you done breast feeding your child now that he eats solid foods?" by making you feel uncomfortable and unsupported...perhaps by making you stand. Maybe they just didn't know better. It's possible. I would encourage you to feel comfortable asking for whatever you need to nurse comfortably...wherever you are, without feeling you have to apologize. The more we behave as though breastfeeding is a natural thing (hopefully) the more people will see that it IS.

If anyone at the party had expressed support, you would have felt so much better, right? So I, as a proud lactivist, promise if I ever see someone (in a similar situation) trying to BF who needs support, I will speak up. I am sorry you had that experience.

[tammyswanson]

I would have sat on the arm of the couch next to that seat stealer, making SURE she got a good look at the whole bf'ing process. What a wench!

Huh, coincidentally I was at a baby shower last saturday too, I had DS in a sling and he was hungry. My one friends mom said they have a room 'back there' to feed him, but I said, 'No, that's okay" and adjusted the sling so I could feed him. No problems there!

You should have sat down on her lap!

[sdm1024]

That was rude!

Some people are just clueless

[Romana]

Originally Posted by Celticqueen

Then I looked around for somewhere else to sit, and all the seats are taken. I walk around and finally say outloud, "Ok, so there's nowhere for me to sit now?"

I'm sorry you were treated this way. I think the best way to approach it is not to say what you said, though, but to approach someone specifically - for example, the person who took your seat - and say "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I need that seat to breastfeed my baby. I just had to get up for a moment. Would you please choose another seat?" You have to put it back on the person who took your seat, politely. She may not have realized or understood that you "needed" the seat, but regardless, most people will be polite and get up if you ask them to - but being annoyed with the whole room will only sort of cement the hostility, kwim? They can all be silent and unhelpful together. You have to be nice and polite and put it back on one specific person, who is made to look like a jerk for taking your seat if she doesn't get up for you.

Most people, when confronted by a polite request, are unable to say no. If that person said no, I would turn to the next person on the sofa/couch, and say, "I'm sorry, but I got up for a moment and your neighbor here took my seat. I really need to sit down to nurse my baby. Would you mind giving up your seat for me until my baby is finished nursing?" Really, in the nicest, most polite voice you have.

If it were me and both people on the sofa refused to get up . . . I think I would then have thanked the hostess for inviting me and asked here where I could sit to nurse my baby, since my seat was taken when I stood up.

I don't think people should "have" to give up seats for BF women (but they should out of support and politeness). It's rude to refuse a direct, polite request. Hopefully no one would have the guts. And I think all people should be supportive of breastfeeding mothers and help accommodate them, but unfortunately as we know that's frequently not the case.