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My Daughters having sex! - Page 3

post #41 of 54
I was 15 when i first went to the OBGYN and I'm glad I did because they found a slight bacterial infection. Nothing sex related, but I had to take big pills. I think it's better to start teens earlier because they will because more aware of their body and get into a routine of going every year so when they get to college and become sexual active they will already have a comfortable relationship with their doctor and feel better about going to the doctor if anything is irregular.
post #42 of 54
Originally Posted by MamaLisa1 View Post
midwifery isn't legal in all states, unfortunately.

I looked and I cannot even find a midwife practicing in our area at all. I used one for our last two births in PA, but I had to go with an regular gyn once we moved south.
"All 50 States have recognized nurse-midwifery as a legal profession."

But CM's, CPM's & direct entry midwives are not able to legally practice in all states, you're right.

MamaLisa1, American College of Nurse-Midwives, North Carolina Chapter has lots of info if you're still in NC.
post #43 of 54
As a teen I can tell you the things that truely drove me up the wall as far as sex talks went when i was younger:
~being talked down to
~being yelled at
~being told I'm massivly immature

My only advice (coming for the other side of the conversation) is to talk to your child like an adult. Sex is an adult activity and needs to be treated as such. It is a natural thing, you know? Just the fact that she can talk to you about it is great. The only sex talk my mother and I have is "mom, I need to go to the gyn." "er..ok" granted now it's different but back then it was just plain alkward.

Just make sure she gets the facts. Good luck. I know it's tough for you because you kid's growing up but you'll be ok, don't worry!
post #44 of 54
Originally Posted by MamaLisa1 View Post
midwifery isn't legal in all states, unfortunately.

I looked and I cannot even find a midwife practicing in our area at all. I used one for our last two births in PA, but I had to go with an regular gyn once we moved south.
That isn't true. Certified nurse midwives are legal and licensed in all 50 states. That said, you might not have one in your area as some areas are less likely to have midwives, but there isn't one single US state that makes CNMs illegal. You can go to the ACNM.org website and plug in your zip code to find one near you.
post #45 of 54
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
Taking Charge of Your Fertility
I think there is a teen version of that somewhere - I've heard it's good!
post #46 of 54
You have done a wonderful job raising your daughter!! Keep that communication open!!

I couldn't even say the word sex in front of my mom when I was a teen and I'm still not comfortable saying it.

I hope I have a very open relationship with my daughters.
post #47 of 54
I want to add my congratulations to you for your dd coming to you. When I was a teen, I wanted very much to be able to talk to my mom. She would have been understanding about anything I told her, I know that for sure. But...and this is a BIG but...she would have told my dad anything and everything I might have confided in her, because she didn't believe in keeping anything from my dad. Believe me, I DO understand that, but on the other hand, I think some things are better left between dd and mother. Unless dd has no problem with her dad knowing.
As a result of my not being able to talk to my mom when I needed to, I made sure that all three of my dc knew that they could always talk to me and I would always respect their confidences. My dd1 came to me just before having sex, and we discussed the pros and cons...protection, the love aspect, and so forth. She has told me that it meant so much to her, to be able to confide in me. I you for having that kind of relationship with your dd. It's not easy, knowing that your "baby" is having sex. But at least when/if there are problems, you will be the first she'll come to. Good luck mama.
post #48 of 54
Originally Posted by Arwyn View Post
The only fresh piece of advice (other than huge yeah thats to everything above) is to not make predictions about her relationship. Don't assume it's going to be forever, but don't assume it isn't either. Don't assume anything. Just be in the moment with her, and be proud of yourself that you "done good" enough to have this trust placed in you.
post #49 of 54
Any update? How was her appointment? Did you find any of the recommended books, and if so, what did you think of them?

Wanted to mention that if you haven't already, you should probably thank your daughter for coming to you and talking about all this. Tell her you are proud of her for coming to you, that it means a lot to you that she trusted you, and that you'd like her to keep coming to you in the future - no matter what's going on, you're available.

That would have been huge for me to hear from my Mom, you know?
post #50 of 54

Things to Consider

There is now a vaccination available for HPV. Girls between the ages of 9 and 26 are considered "eligible" from what I have read. HPV results in genital warts and some forms of cervical cancer, and some people do not present signs of it. This requires a pap smear. My girls will be vaccinated at 12. I wish my son could be vaccinated. So far I have not heard of HPV vaccinations for boys.
post #51 of 54
tinuviel - you haven't been here long, huh? Check out the Vaccinations board. Lots to read and consider. Most members here are no/delayed/selective vax, and there's been much discussion about the so-called HPV vaccine.
post #52 of 54
Great for you! I HOPE my dd trusts me that much when she's a teenager. I know I couldn't talk to my mom about that stuff. When I did get pregnant with dd (1 1/2 yrs AFTER moving out of her house) she still had an attack like it was her problem. And my father.... well have you ever heard the story of the Virgin Mary? Well that's what he thinks happened to me, twice! Lucky girl huh? I think you've done a great job so far. My sis is 17 and just went to get a checkup and bc. I had to get her ins card from mom and take her and mom still didn't like it. Poor girl. At least I did it for her.. Nobody did that for me. I just used condoms and prayed I wouldn't get pregnant. Keep up the good work.
post #53 of 54
Originally Posted by Corinnebaby View Post
Nope. I would definitely prefer for my DDs not to wait till marriage.

Congrats to your DD, she is lucky to have a mother she can talk to about these things!
post #54 of 54
I would just like to point out, that even the most level headed, well rounded, well meaning kids do make mistakes too. I started having sex when I was 16 -made my bf (now hubby) buy the condoms, knew the drill. Hell *I* was the one all my friends came to when they had questions about sex/bc/relationships. They knew my mom would be understanding if they needed help and that she wouldn't judge them etc. I have a pretty good relationship with my mom and though I didn't tell her everything, we were pretty open.

Despite all that, I had unprotected sex with my bf and after 6 months being sexualy active we got pregnant. Fortunetly, we have beat the odds in pretty much every other way (in fact we're expecting #3 in july)

It was a total blind side to my mom. She felt absolulty betrayed becuase I was the one that *knew better* etc. But being smarter or knowing better doesn't stop you from making mistakes. So please, please. please do not assume that your kids are smarter then that, or know better or what ever.

Talking to you about sex is only the first step - keep that communication open, it's issential!

Good luck!
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