How do you let go???

[momma2libby]

I've been filled with worries throughout this whole pregnancy...will I go into labor too early/to late, will I gain too much weight, will I have to be transferred to the hospital, will I have a uterine rupture, will I have to have a repeat c/s, will I be lied to and told I need to have a repeat c/s when I don't, will my baby be ok, will I be able to hold him/her as soon as they are born, if I do transfer will I have to deal with constantly standing up to staff and interventions on me or the baby that I do not want, will my husband be a good coach, will my toddler be well taken care of while I am in labor, what will I do if I go post term......

I could go on and on and on and on about all of my worries ; these are definitley not all of them. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and stressed out. I just assume that anything that can happen will happen to me, and that I need to be prepared. I am driving myself (and my husband) crazy.

I know that this can't be good for me...worrying all the time. I believe in the power of positive thinking, but when it comes down to it I still get worst case scenarios stuck in my head.

How do you deal with the stress??? How do you let go and trust that everything will work out and be okay???

[Minnie79]

I need help with this too I'm currently 41 weeks (+ a couple days) and I'm totally stressed about how to avoid unnecessary interventions. It's taking a lot of mental power to try to NOT worry about things. I have total confidence in my body and in my baby, so that's where I'm drawing my strength from. So *hugs*....I know what it feels like to worry.

All I can say is trust in your body and your baby. Your baby knows exactly what do to and so does your body.

[momma2libby]

Originally Posted by Minnie79

I need help with this too I'm currently 41 weeks (+ a couple days) and I'm totally stressed about how to avoid unnecessary interventions. It's taking a lot of mental power to try to NOT worry about things. I have total confidence in my body and in my baby, so that's where I'm drawing my strength from. So *hugs*....I know what it feels like to worry.

All I can say is trust in your body and your baby. Your baby knows exactly what do to and so does your body.

: I hope you have your baby in your arms soon!

[JamieCatheryn]

Worrying can be good sometimes, it helps you to prepare and avoid the things you don't want happening. You're concerned about people lying to you, so you learn enough to make the final desicion yourself confidantly. You're concerned about going into labor pre or post-dates, so you learn all about what the real and false risks are and how to avoid the problems associated with it, etc. Worried about gaining too much weight, you learn about how to eat right, what the real averages are (25-30 lbs) and that on a healthy diet and activity level even like 50 lbs or whatever can be fine. You learn, plan, surround yourself with those who are supportive and agreable, then there's no more you can do but digest your own feelings.

Think realisticly, what if this thing you're worried about did happen, what would you do, what would you feel, what would happen afterward? How can you avoid it, how can you accept it?

Personally, I prepared and learned so everything went pretty well with regard to interventions, people around me, etc, and then a long hard labor kicked the crap out of me til I learned to let all control go and accept it for how awesome it was. Oh and I gained 45 lbs but felt very healthy and lost it gradually without any effort.

[miss_nikki]

To be honest I didn't start to let go until I realized I was in early labor. I tried to let go over and over before that. It was when I hit transition that I totally let go because I was so focused on being relaxed.

[beachmommy5]

I have the same problem, I am worried about a thousand things because my first birth did not go as I had expected. I was not as prepared as I could have been about all the possible complications and ended up with a c/s that I later discovered could have been prevented if I had known better/ was more confident in my decisions/ had more knowledge (it was mt first pregnancy and I figured the doctors knew best and everything would be "normal") .

This time I am doing research to prepare for all the different possibilities and will decide what I want to do in every situation before labor is eminent, so that I can relax and focus on having this baby rather than worrying about what unforseen complication arrises. I think that knowledge and preperation is the best way to relax because you know what can happen and have made preparations and decisions for whatever situation may arise. Although it is possible to obsess and research too much

I will definately have a birth plan, both for a vaginal delivery and for a c/s incase of an emergency situation and that in its self will bring my stress level down because barring an extreme emergency I will know what to expect and can tell the OB and nurses exactly what I want.

Good luck and best wishes! I hope you can relax

[MonP'titBoudain]

Ac ouple things you can do to be proactive:

-I would really check out Birthing From Within as a resource on how to address these anxieties. I have a different set of anxieties that I've been working through and the book has been super helpful in keeping my focus and addressing my fears.

-I also think the pp's reccomendations that you do a LOT of research on the type of birth you are trying to have (VBAC, birth center, etc) will help you to focus on the goal of achieving your birth.

-And I'd always reccomend having a doula, especially if you are not going to be at home. In your case, I'd look for a doula who has experience and knowledge with VBAC clients. I would find easier to let go during labor if I knew there was someone who was well-informed outside of a medical perspective helping my dh & I make our decisions. A good doula is not just a labor support but can be a buffer between you and a medical team.

hth! And don't forget, worrying is a good thing if you can put it to use!

[Minnie79]

Originally Posted by momma2libby

: I hope you have your baby in your arms soon!

Thank you

[danotoyou2]

It helped for me to open a business when I was 6 or 7 months along. I spent part of the second trimester doing interviews and hiring people, and most of the third trimester training them... so, keeping busy worked for me. By the time I took my "maternity leave" two weeks before my due date, I was too happy to relax to bother worrying.

[redhotmama]

Pray. Tell God all your concerns and know that they are His problems, not yours. When the timing is right, peace will come. This is how I had the most amazing birth ever.

[newtonscricket]

Some things that help me

listening to relaxation tapes. When I was pregnant I listened to Hypnobirthing and Hypnobabies materials. Completely separate from any beneficial effects during birth, it was like taking a little vacation in the middle of each day. Just taking a break from worrying will help. Just search on Amazon on "guided meditation relaxation". There will be lots of affordable stuff.

writing affirmations. This is a little new agey and even embarrassing to me. Nobody (except you guys now) know that I keep a notebook where I write down exactly what I want as though it is already happening. I work on this about once a week. Does it makes things actually happen? Who can say? Certainly some things that I've written have happened. It gives me some sense of "doing something" about situations where there's really nothing else to do. Or it brings me to a place where I can see what I can do, which I couldn't see before.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

I thought about anything that worried me, and determined if there were anything I could do about it. If there was, I did it. If there wasn't, I let it go. No point being stressed out about things I can't control. I can't really explain how I did it. For me having a plan in place works well.