Regarding donating eggs and/or sperm

[greenearthmama]

Hi everyone-
Okay, I don't know if this is TMI or not, but I figure this is the best place to ask a question.
My husband and I are blessed with a 23 month old DS and an 11 month old DD. They are both very healthy, very happy, with excellent dispositions.
The problem is, we'd like to donate our eggs and sperm and are having the hardest time finding any place. We are in South Eastern Wisconsin. The nearest place for my hubby is 6 1/2 hours away in Minnesota. The nearest place to me is near Chicago. We'd love to donate to a family, however, not a "collective pool." From my understanding (from a place in Chicago), sometimes they just end up throwing your eggs out if no one "chooses" them. I'd hate to waste these precious gifts! We're both very fertile and just want to try to help out another family (where we know the people, is that too much to ask?). I also would like to do this without Lupron, if possible. I'm still BFing and would like to work with my natural cycle. Any ideas on places to contact or resources available in finding a family (short of advertising in the local paper)? Anything would be welcome! You can PM me, post, or email me privately.
Thanks, in advance, and I hope to hear from some of you knowledgeable mamas! :

[tessie]

You could try some 'proper' fertility boards. Or something like surromoms, which I believe also has an egg donation section.

However, you will have to use some form of down regulation drug. Without it you would only be able to do natural cycle ivf, which results in only one or two eggs and therefore has a lower success rate. Furthermore it's unlikely that you will be able to do it if you are still breastfeeding. Not just because of the drugs but because breastfeeding may have a negative impact on ivf and someone who is paying thousands for the treatment is unlikely to want to take that risk.

I have never heard of anywhere throwing out eggs. Usually you will be picked as a donor by a recipient who will then pay for the cycle. The only reason they'd throw the eggs would be if there turned out to be a medical reason such as they would not fertilise.

Have you tried signing up with independent agencies? They might be able to find you both a match. If you were willing to travel you could find a recipient out of state.

[YummyYarnAddict]

Given the costs associated with egg donation -- essentially going through an IVF cycle except for transfer (and the major of the expenses come with stimulation and retrieval, not with transfer) -- I seriously doubt that you will find anywhere in the US that will assist you in your quest without being matched with a couple for egg donation ahead of time unless you plan on paying out of pocket and then paying to have the eggs frozen yourself (and the technology to freeze unfertilized eggs is still relatively new). SO... what you're looking for isn't just a place to "donate your eggs" but to be matched with someone who is seeking an egg donor and for that you need to find an agency, a clinic that is seeking egg donors for their patients, or a couple or individual that is seeking an egg donor.

There are actually a few clinics in WI and IL that seek egg donors for their patients; I can think of three off the top of my head at the moment so I'm sure there are more. You can look at the list of Reproductive Endocrinologists in these two states and call their offices. They do have very specific criteria in terms of age, medical history, etc. etc. but you will find this across the board. In terms of finding out the names of agencies and couples or individuals who are looking for donors, surromomsonline is a great website to start with.

As for sperm donors, if you look at the California Cryobank website, you will see that a very very small percentage of men who wish to donate sperm are actually accepted as donors, so proven fertility, while helpful, is not the only criteria. This isn't meant to discourage you, but rather to be a reality check. IIRC, there is a place in Chicago that accepts sperm donors, you could probably Google it. Due to the extensive testing and screening that is required, fertility clinics will direct their patients to use sperm donors from established sperm banks, in fact, some will only work with the larger, more established ones like California Cryobank and Fairfax. If your husband has any particular characteristics that are uncommon like belonging to a particular ethnic group where it's hard to get donors from, they may be more flexible about it. Otherwise, there are some places where you might find people seeking less formal arrangements, but, again, that might require costly testing.

I think it's great that you want to donate, but it's also important to educate yourselves as much as possible on all the ins and outs involved.

ETA: I see that you're breastfeeding your dd. I wanted to let your know that I breastfed my dd through 3 fresh and 3 frozen IVF cycles. Also, you can cycle without lupron, but in terms of doing a natural cycle, it's unlikely that you'll find someone who is willing to pay an egg donor for a natural cycle as they usually result in 1 to 2 eggs, and the recipient is hoping for as many eggs as possible. You will find someone who will agree not to push for a high stim dose, but I doubt you'll get someone to go for a natural cycle as cycling is very expensive and people who do natural cycles with their own eggs often end up doing several and freezing the eggs as they go along so that they can have a few to transfer at once.