There is a difference between multi-generational living, which I am extremely in favor of, and parasitism, which I am against.
Some personal experiences...
I have a 23yo sister who still lives with my parents. She has not attended a class in almost a year. She has worked a handful of days during that time. She gives my parents horrible attitude. She spends half the day sleeping and the other half hanging out with her friends (drinking, drugs, promiscuity). My parents give her money for everything. My parents pay about $10k per year just to keep her covered under their medical plan. And they are just middle class, so this hurts them. She never does housework -- not even to clean up after herself and her friends. She, and they, eat all the food in the house, and drink all the juice/soda and all my parents' alcohol. They leave dirty plates and glasses and napkins everywhere. They get into drunken fights and break things. She has no motivation to ever do anything more with her life than party with her friends.
I've talked to her about this. Does she have so little self-respect that she can continue to suck all my parents' resources and energy and not contribute anything to the family besides negativity and stress? She immediately explodes in anger that she refuses to do anything for them since she feels like they are horrible and only exist to make her suffer. They are the enemy. I have no idea where she gets this from. They do EVERYTHING for her. She has such a nice lifestyle with them and she doesn't appreciate it. She just feels victimized and wronged by the whole universe. She feels like it owes her a pampered life and she doesn't have to make any effort to earn that.
It is hard for the rest of us to understand. We are very motivated and passionate people. We look forward to getting up in the morning because we have more things we want to do in this lifetime than can ever be done.
Her attitude seems to me like the stereotypical teenager 10 years younger than her. I can't really relate to that. I never saw our parents as the enemy. They were extremely non-restrictive and supportive. Any guidelines they had were clearly about safety, not control. We didn't always agree about what was best for me, but it was obvious that their preferences were based on caring about me, not wanting to harm me. They are very giving, and constantly offer her more and more opportunities to explore her interests at their expense. Their feeling about her floundering is that "she's just going to be a late bloomer."
Our landlord's son is similar. They live upstairs and I talk to him a lot. He is 21 and does nothing with his life but have fun with his friends. His father supplies him with everything he needs and wants. Yet still he has this attitude that his father has wronged him and owes him something more. He has a tendency for what I call hyper-self-righteousness. This is where the person can be abusive of the good nature of everyone around him/her without seeing the harm he/she does, and then overreact to the tiniest perceived offense against himself/herself.
I don't think anyone wants to shove their children out the door. You love them and want to have them around. But you also want them to have some interests they feel passionate about and do something productive with themselves. Is it possible that continuing to indulge these hyper-self-righteous individuals could be providing a safe harbor so attractive that they never leave it, and therefore never venture out to see what the world has to offer? At what point does support become an unhealthy crutch keeping them from ever taking a step towards some kind of accomplishment that would make them feel some self-worth?
I've heard that "26 is the new 21." Is that true? Maybe. Is it because the world doesn't have space to absorb more people into society -- that they feel there is no room for them -- they are unwanted. Does that create the hostile feelings?