July Multiples Mamas

[MollyKenzie]

Ok here are the July Multiples I have so far....

MollyKenzie: July 8th DZ girls
Mama_To_One
worcma: July 7, DZ boys
AmyC: MZ boys due July 25
devilish_fetish
bliznetsi74

[4Marmalade]

: Hey there! I was just thinking of starting this thread tonight too. You beat me to it. I think you responded to my thread in Parenting Multiples about dealing with negative reactions.

The twin news was a complete shock for us as well. My due date is July 10th but I'm assuming they will arrive mid-late June (I hope anyways - meaning I don't want them arriving earlier than that). We haven't confirmed whether they are mz or dz. We will probably have another ultrasound done in the next few weeks.

So far the pregnancy is going alright. I don't love being pregnant as I'm pretty sick still. Everytime I think I leave the vomiting behind me I throw up again. I am trying to eat what I can and make sure I get enough protein. I've read Dr. Luke's book and it makes sense but when you're nauseous and throwing up it's really hard to get 3500 calories in during a day. I think I've gained about 14lbs and I'm 17 weeks so I guess that's not too bad. I am still exhausted all the time but that's because I am not sleeping well at night AT ALL! I wake up hourly to pee. I make sure I lie down every afternoon with dd and even though I don't sleep it's nice to rest.

Has anyone been feeling much movement? I used to think I felt a bit more but it was so hard to tell. I went through a rough patch about a week ago where I was sure I couldn't feel any movement and I was freaking out! It totally coincided with the paragraph I read in a book about one twin dying at 16 weeks (exactly where I was in my pregnancy). I knew my imagination was getting the best of me but I would still lie there praying to feel the babies move. Thankfully, I seem to be feeling tiny movements again but they're still so small and quick that they make you second guess all the time.

I could write tons more as I have so many thoughts going on in my head but I will stop for now. After all, it's 7:38pm and I need to get to bed . I'm not kidding - sigh.......

[AmyC]

Another July mama expecting twins, here. My due date is something like July 23 (I've also seen July 25 and July 22 on the ultrasound data.)

We've known about the duo (surprise!) for just over a week. I am getting used to the news. I called a girlfriend today to tell her, and she freaked out. (Not in an un-nice way, but just really, really shocked.) I was pretty calm; I can tell I've absorbed and processed a lot of the angst already. The immediate angst, at least. I'm sure different angst lies ahead....

My twins are supposed to be mz. They share a chorionic sac and the placenta, but have their own amniotic sacs inside the one big chorionic sac.

I have no twin literature yet and am not too up on what is recommended....I know a high weight gain (and early--20 lbs by 20 weeks, is it?) and plenty of protein. I'm not so good at calorie counting and portion awareness, so I'm not sure what the gap is between what I'm eating currently and 3500 calories....I'm nervous about it, though.

I have been suffering pretty badly during the early part of the pregnancy, and I thought I'd turned the corner last week only to devolve into chronic vomiting again over the weekend. I ate, only to lose it within two minutes. Really frustrating and draining, not to mention painful.

This was a surprise pregnancy in the first place, so I already was nervous about my lack of pre-conception planning and nutrition. (We very much were conscious with the pre-conception period in conceiving our first child, who will be 4 in March, and I really wanted to do the same if/when we decided to have another. I also wanted to supplement with B6 and really work to avoid morning sickness this time....so I felt blind-sided by the pregnancy and then by the intensity of my sickness.) Anyway, not the best overall mental space, as far as those concerns.

I went to see my doctor today. I knew I was going to be changing care because she is going into private practice (she's a family practitioner who has, up 'til now, attended births. She's just my regular doctor, but the only one I had and I was planning to use a midwife but went to her in the meantime because I was so sick and losing weight, dehydrated, etc.) Then we found out about the twins. She had recommended one particular OB who specializes in high-risk patients and works with a midwife in her practice. So I figured I'd see my doctor today, then make plans to meet the OB and switch over.

Anyway, I found out today that the OB is moving away....this summer. Not sure when (my doctor thought June or July, but it might be August.) We talked about other options, but this news totally deflated me and left me feeling like I'm at square one again, not knowing who I'm going to be seeing, not sure if it's worth it to plan for my care locally or to try to go to one of the larger hospitals (further away) where there's a wider assortment of perinatologists and generally a better chance at being supported for a vaginal twin birth. Of course the closer of the big hospitals is out of my insurance network....

Movement....I've felt some, but it has seemed fleeting and definitely not super-recognizable or frequent. I think the placenta is anterior, so that could affect some things. I guess I'm at 15 weeks, now. Tonight, I've felt a fair bit of movement (since I've been sitting at the computer.) Ghost kicks, still, but there. And from both sides.

I'm still pretty small (except when I actually eat a meal or even just a snack...instant bloat for me, then. My jeans are unzipped now for comfort, though technically they still fit.) But my doctor checked and said it seems just right. Normal measurement (for a singleton, I assume?) would be about 4 cm above the pubic bone, and I was measuring 6 cm.

Mostly, I'm just trying to find things I can tolerate and to keep food down. I hope that things get easier soon.

[MollyKenzie]

Amy - I just wanted to say that I experienced the same sort of thing with morning sickness. It seemed like around week 14/15 I started throwing up again...however, if I was able to eat mass amounts of protein, I didnt feel sick. My partner finally started force-feeding me and then things got a lot better.

If you are still looking for literature I have Elizabeth Noble's book "Having Twins" and I really like it. I think its on the Parenting Multiples resources list too. She has a nice balance between being aware of some of the pitfalls of a multiple preg. but also saying that we can still have a completely healthy, full-term, pregnancy. And also, I am sorry about the hard time finding a practitioner who will support you in the birth you want. I feel soooo lucky that we can try for a homebirth because it seems like the chances of a c-section go up so much when you go the hospital with twins. I guess because so many of them have at least one breech baby. In my area there isnt a single ob who will vaginally deliver breech.

Movement - I have been feeling more and more, but mostly from baby A, who is in front. I can feel her/him much better, so it is really exciting when I feel the other one in back. The movement is still few and far between, but unmistakeable. I have to say, I have been a lot less freaked out about having two since I started feeling movement. I think that helped me a lot to get excited instead of dread the work coming up.

I dont know how much weight I have gained yet (we dont own a scale and my m/w doesnt weigh me) but I do know I lost at least 10 lbs in the first trimester. I think I am starting to gain a little now though. Someone at the store last night told me I looked closed to my due date! I'm only 17wks! I guess I started out a little big, but seriously!

Mama to One - stop reading that stuff right now movement isnt supposed to be regular for awhile now I dont think. I hope you are able to feel something soon though.

Well, gotta go, I have to call and find out why my work hasnt sent my w2's yet!

[4Marmalade]

AmyC - sorry you're having to find new care during your pregnancy. That's one little stressor you don't need. I don't calorie count either. I just know that I am probably not near 3500 seeing as I'm not eating a whole lot more than I was before I was pregnant. Some of the books I've read recommend a 24lb weight gain by 20 weeks. It's hard to find a balance treating this like a normal pregnancy but knowing that it's also not a "normal" pregnancy - kwim? I hope you feel better soon. I've been having a rough couple of days and throwing up a few times each morning. It sucks .

MollyKenzie - Don't worry - I've put the books away for now. I think I read bits and pieces of about 4 different ones and they all said the same kind of things so now I am going to sit back and just grow these babies for a bit. I don't think I look like I'm due yet but I definitely have that pregnancy belly. I probably look about 6 months along.

I will hopefully meet with the OB in the next few weeks and then I will have a better idea of what the next few months will bring. I will definitely be having a hospital birth as there's no other options here but I do have a chance at a vaginal birth as long as baby A is vertex. I can still continue shared care with my midwife and I have an appointment next week so we will be able to hear the heartbeats again.

[AmyC]

My doctor (who isn't going to be my doctor!) remarked that with twins, all the doctors around here (there are 3 OBs in town) are willing to deliver the second one vaginally even when breech, if you've already birthed the first one. She said it really matter-of-factly, which was a relief to me to hear. She said on the other hand, if the first baby coming is breech and the second is vertex, no one will deliver vaginally because of the chance that they could catch their chins on each other as the first one descends. ?

I see what she means, but would that happen if they are in their own membranes? (Or is it not much of a division--just a membrane to keep them from entangling cords with each other, but totally squishy and possible for them to hook chins? Probably so.) For that matter, with diamniotic twins, does the water typically break one bag at a time, or what? (I'm not really asking anyone, here. I know I need to just get my hands on some decent twin resources and answer some questions for myself!)

It amazes me that (I suspect) doctors won't deliver a vaginal breech singleton, but they DO deliver second twins breech. (I'd assumed they would try to turn or reposition the second, and maybe they do. I don't know.)

My doctor mentioned that if I'm very committed to delivering vaginally if possible, I might want to consider switching my care to a tertiary care center. Her point was that the perinatologists are more experienced with twin deliveries and things are more likely to work out. Of our reasonably local options (neither of which would feel local while driving in labor, but...), she recommended one much more highly. BUT, if I were to go in to our hospital for a complication like pre-term labor or to need emergency transfer, the automatic hospital destination would be the other one, which is an hour closer.

So the question is whether to invest in the "nicer" birthing environment & work with a team there and then risk transferring to a completely different place, with no previous OB contact, if some serious complication were to develop unexpectedly.

The other thing we've kicked around is the possibility of me moving to stay with friends who are closer to the "nicer" hospital. My husband could keep working & living at home and then come at my call. But then, when would I go? And would this even be doable or comfortable? (This is just something we've talked about when trying to wrap our heads around what we're going to do, not something we've broached with said friends. Or anything.)

The nicer hospital is in-network for insurance; the closer hospital is not. I think we'd be covered if we were transferred in an emergency situation, but I don't think we could just start setting up our care over there (at the closer tertiary hospital) even though my doctor recommended that course of action.

I haven't wanted to talk to any friends about this, or post anything, just because it's still a huge question mark.

I guess the OB who's leaving town is leaving in July, which leaves the question of WHEN? If it's at the end, she could agree to cover me, since my twins most likely will come a bit before the due date (as opposed to after.) But I think I'm supposed to leave the negotiations to my doctor, who can speak directly to her (or email) about my situation, rather than me just trying to call the receptionist in the office.

But the question mark remains, as we wait.

[AmyC]

I really was looking for this thread just to post that I talked to my brother last night, and his middle son (age 5) heard that we are expecting twins. He offered us his name suggestions: Lightning and Mercury.

I laughed, such a delight. Even nicely gender-neutral. So much of a load off our minds!

[MollyKenzie]

Originally Posted by Mama to one

It's hard to find a balance treating this like a normal pregnancy but knowing that it's also not a "normal" pregnancy - kwim? I hope you feel better soon. I've been having a rough couple of days and throwing up a few times each morning. It sucks .

I totally know what you mean. Elizabeth Noble talkes about the "nocebo" effect of twin pregnancies. Before women had ultrasounds, they most likely didnt know they were having multiples until they delivered, and the babies had a much higher rate of being perfectly ok. But now that we are treated as "high/er risk" there are a lot of problems. She says its the opposite of taking a pill that is nothing but you think its something. Things go wrong because they are told they are going to go wrong. I am trying really hard to treat the babies well, eat enough etc., but I also just want to remind myself that these babies came to me naturally and they can leave me (as in birth) naturally too. I also cant stop worrying about every little twinge and cramp though....I have been sooo much more crampy with these guys!


Amy I just wanted to give you many : I think these decisions must be so hard to make right now. I was just reading on the parenting multiples thread about a woman who just found out she was having twins and freaking out because her husband is in the military and they are in korea and it sounds like she is really really scared. I can totally relate, and I feel like we must have it sooo much better. At least we have some choices.

Do you have to make a decision right away about all this stuff? Maybe let the news sink in for a moment and do some reading and then see how you feel in a week or so.

Also, I dont see why you cant call the ob you want's office. I mean the worst thing they could say is that they dont know or you would have to call back or something. If it would make you feel better to get into a little action on this, then I say make the call.

I get to hear the babies tonight. My midwife is coming over, hopfully ds will cooperate at night time and be asleep when she gets here. I am actually not really sure if it will be that eventful of a visit, but at least we get to hear the babies. Baby A's heartbeat is significantly fater than baby B's, so she is laughing at the possibility that the old wives tale is true and we have one boy/one girl. All I know is that if I end up with three boys under three, I might go crazy!

[Amydoula]

AMYC If I remember correctly you live near me? VT/upstate NY? What you are writing sounds very familiar to what is happening at my local hospital anyway (Bennington,VT). If it is Dr. P that you are talking about her last day is July 31st. I just saw her today for my post D&C visit (I was due in July too ) Anyway if you are in my local area, which I think I remember feel free to PM me b/c as a doula I have a good handle on the area providers/hosptals etc. Best wishes!
amy

[AmyC]

Originally Posted by Amydoula

AMYC If I remember correctly you live near me? VT/upstate NY? What you are writing sounds very familiar to what is happening at my local hospital anyway (Bennington,VT). If it is Dr. P that you are talking about her last day is July 31st. I just saw her today for my post D&C visit (I was due in July too ) Anyway if you are in my local area, which I think I remember feel free to PM me b/c as a doula I have a good handle on the area providers/hosptals etc. Best wishes!
amy

Oh, HI!!! Thanks so much for writing! I will PM you but I have to clean out my PM box first, and so it might take me a bit to get to it.

You are remembering clearly. I am in NY very close to you, and we definitely are talking about the same hospital situation. I am glad that Dr. P is here through the 31st....with twins due July 20/23/25 (I'm not sure which date they actually settled on from the u/s and I didn't have any records of dates of my own, this time) I should deliver sometime before she leaves. I mean, even if I were to go all the way to 40 weeks, it seems unlikely I'd go much longer than that. (Right???) Maybe she'll be willing to take me on. I know she's not taking new patients, but from what I've heard, that's been people who are not yet pregnant who wanted to get on board with her.

I definitely would like to ask you about her, and some other things.

I guess I don't understand why the local midwives (the CNMs who deliver at the hospital) don't do twin births. Or maybe it's just the fact that my twins are monochorionic and so that factor risks me out of their care off the bat. My doctor gave me a reason about the monitoring (knowing which heartbeat was which), and after I thought about it, it didn't make much sense to me. I mean, once they start monitoring for the twin-to-twin transfer thing, it could be through the techs at the hospital for the scans, anyway. That shouldn't interfere with or preclude regular midwifery care as long as things are proceeding normally, I should think. Maybe my doctor was wrong.....

On another note, I contacted B. about "Trust Birth" meetings the other day. So maybe I will see you if she gets a meeting together in the next couple of weeks. (I need to check my email re: that.)

I am so sorry to hear about your loss, Amy.

Thanks again for reaching out, and for your willingness to talk about the doctors and the area.

[Amydoula]

AmyC Yes, I think she will take you on if you call her soon and explain you will be due before she leaves, and with twins you probably would not go past your due date. The midwives can't take on twins for liability, in case of an issue. They are great otherwise though, they are who I use regularly. The only reason I even saw Dr. P was b/c I needed a D&C. I'd be happy to talk about other hospitals, providers and the new OB who will hopefully be coming on to take Dr. P's place. B mentioned that someone had contacted her about starting Trust Birth up again. I definitely want meetings but for me, its just too soon after my loss. I will join back in again though when I'm mentally ready. Thank you for your kinds thoughts, I'm doing ok, just counting the months till we can try again.

[MollyKenzie]

This is on a totally different topic...but I just wanted to share about my m/w appointment last night. I got all freaked out because she could only track down one heartbeat, we heard the other a couple of times, but they they swam away so werent able to get a good read....then, after a long time, she moved back around and went to the same area as she found the first, and it was a different heartbeat, then she found the first, faster one, and they were both there. The were cuddling together!!! My little guys needed some lovin' and they were cuddling. How cute is that!

[4Marmalade]

Thought I would move this thread back to the first page . How is everyone doing?

Knock on wood, but I think the constant nausea is starting to lift. Instead of the full blown nausea that I would rate a 10 it's more like a 3-4. That's a huge improvement and I can actually get some things done. It's a huge relief. I've been feeling more and more movement lately but I think it's just the one baby on my right side. Maybe I can't feel the other baby due to placenta location? I go for my midwife's appointment tomorrow so we'll hopefully get a chance to hear both heartbeats.

So, are you guys doing anything different because it's a "multiple" pregnancy? I was just thinking of this the other day and trying to find the balance because I also want this to feel like a normal pregnancy. So far I've been treating it like a normal pregnancy except for the amount of food I've been trying to consume. For my singleton pregnancies I just ate whatever and whenever I wanted and I gained about 25lbs. This time I'm trying to gain more weight and trying to increase the protein intake. I'm also making sure I sit down and rest a bit more. When the nausea was at it's peak that wasn't a problem but now that I feel a bit better I feel this pressure to get some things done before I get too big and tired again. I'm also being really aware of my body and watching for signs of premature labour. I know it's kind of early for that but I'm paying attention just the same.

As for my vent.....I am so sick of peeing every hour - including nighttime! And it's such an uncomfortable "have to pee" feeling. Blah! No pain or anything and urine test came back negative so I think it's jus the extra weight on my bladder already.

MollyKenzie - that's so cute about the cuddling together. BTW..Lightning and Mercury are great names .

AmyC - any luck on finding care?

[4Marmalade]

I thought I would post another update as I had my midwife appointment this morning. Everything looks/sounds good. After some searching she was able to find two distinct heartbeats, one around 140 and the other around 156. I've gained a total of 13lbs and I'm 18 weeks. It's quite a bit less than the recommended 24lbs by 20 weeks but I'm gaining at a rate of about 2lbs/week and I've already gained twice as much as I did at this point with my two singleton pregnancies so I'm just going to rest assured that I'm doing alright.

I have an ultrasound set up in a couple of weeks and we'll be able to see the babies again. I had an ultrasound done at 14 weeks and she showed me the report today. It said something about a slightly higher than average amniotic fluid level. My midwife didn't discuss it with me but after doing my own research I think it can be more common in twin pregnancies, where the uterus is growing faster than normal. It can also be a sign of certain defects but I am not going to go there. I'll feel some relief once the major ultrasound at 20 weeks is complete.

My midwife also had the Elizabeth Noble book available so I have some more reading material.

So, can you guys come out of hiding and keep me company?

[AmyC]

I'm here. I'm glad you had a good appointment!

So Elizabeth Noble's book & Dr. Luke's book are kind of the prominent pair? That's where the recommendations for early & high weight gain come from, right? I couldn't remember the "crunchier" twin book, but I think it's the Noble book.

I have been dragging my feet on looking them up and ordering them...not sure why. I do have a lot of questions and would probably be happier if I had a reliable reference in hand, in general.

I'd also like to get the Mothering Multiples book.

I just got a call this afternoon that Dr. P (the one who is leaving town at the end of July) will take me on. I'm so happy and relieved. I guess I have extra information gathered if for some reason it doesn't pan out, but I am pretty sure I will like her a lot.

I am going in for an appointment next Tuesday, I think. I'll meet her and get to talk about her philosophy and care, get a feel for her. Up to now, it's all been stuff I've heard about her from others.

As far as doing things differently this pregnancy....I'm not sure. I feel like my lack of reading & study is different, and I feel guilty about it (like I should be much more informed.) I feel like I'm coasting and taking things for granted. I am not sure how much protein is recommended, or how close/far I'm coming, etc. On the other hand, this may mean that I'm not really treating this like a "multiple" pregnancy. But somehow, it feels more like ignorance & avoidance than like a conscious choice to avoid making it abnormal or high risk by default.

This pregnancy definitely FEELS different. I feel like I'm going straight from the 1st trimester to the 3rd, in terms of discomfort. I remember a nice 2nd trimester honeymoon last time, which doesn't feel like a physical possibility this time. I guess it's all relative, but I find myself feeling discomfort (even just from the size of my belly, and how easy it is to get full fast and have heartburn) much earlier this time.

[4Marmalade]

Hey Amy. Those two books did tend to be the better ones of the ones I read. I borrowed one from the library and one from my midwife. They were interesting to read but I don't think they changed too much in terms of what I'm doing besides trying to eat a bit more and rest. I'm eating as much as I can and trying to make the calories count and I think that's about all I can do. If you've researched in the past with your single pregnancy a lot of the same information applies. The Mothering Multiples book I borrowed from my LLL group and I'm betting that book will be handy to have kicking around after the babies are born and we're nursing.

I'm glad you were able to get some care. Hopefully, you get a good vibe from her when you finally meet her. I've heard tons of great stuff about the OB I'm being set up with, but like you, I haven't met him yet so I hope when I do it's a good meeting.

[worcma]

Joining in! I'm due with 2 on 7-7-08. I'm feeling GREAT, actually much better than my singleton PG. Hoping (and willing myself) that it'll stay that way. I've been doing OK with weight gain but I'm trying all that I can.

AmyC - if you do get Luke's book, I'd concentrate on the nutrition chapters. The other parts seem pretty extreme (ex. I just read last night that with twins, a PG should take two naps a day and it's most advisable to stop working at 28 wks. I mean, sure if its indicated, but as a matter of course, seems a bit much)

[MollyKenzie]

Hi all! Just wanted to let you know that I had my mid-preg. u/s today and there are two girls in there!

Lucy and Edie!

[AmyC]

I responded to this when I first saw it earlier today, but my computer has been having connectivity issues and I guess the message didn't go through. Grrrrr!

OH! Lucy and Edie! I love your choices and somehow you posting their names made your news seem even more real! Wow. Congrats and it is so exciting and sweet to read your post. Big smile coming at you from me!

[AmyC]

Hey, by the way, does anyone know how you should compute weight gain? I mean, I lost weight during the first trimester when I was not keeping anything down and burning up a lot of body fat. (Lots of ketones in the urine, perpetuating the nausea cycle, etc.)

And I didn't even have a prenatal appointment after confirming the pregnancy with a home test, until I went in to see my family practitioner after having been to the ER for IV fluids when I was maybe 12 weeks along. (Didn't have a handle on my dates then, and I haven't gone back and figured out when that first visit was. At the time, I told the ER staff I was 11 or 12 weeks pregnant.)

So my doctor just went off my weight from my last physical, which happened to have been a few weeks before we conceived. However, I know that my weight had shot up in the month since that....over Thanksgiving and then I tested for the pregnancy and just was hungry all the time. So I was thinking of that weight (what I weighed in as at home when I found out I was pregnant) as my "starting weight," even though my doc's official count was the lower weight from my last physical.

So by my home scale, while dealing with hyperemisis, I lost a total of around 18 pounds. My doctor had me down as losing 10, I think.

(I'm sorry for all the detail....bear with me!)

I have started gaining weight, which is good given I'm approaching the middle of a twin pregnancy (17 weeks) but I'm not sure how to gauge my progress. I don't know that I can attain that goal of 20 or 22 lbs by 20 weeks, but do I just start from my "starting point" (or low point) of a few weeks back and count the weight I've gained since then? Or do I go either with my or my doctor's starting weight and wait to reach that before I officially have gained ANYTHING?

I know this is just semantics in some ways, and what matters is reality. But I'd like to know how to interpret my progress based on those best odds weight gain recommendations that get passed around. It seems to me that if I'm just breaking even now, and have gained maybe a pound or two (or nothing yet, if you go by my weight in December when I discovered the pregnancy), that actually does make a big difference than if I can count the ~13 pounds I've come up since I was able to get the hyperemisis under control and start gaining again, rather than losing.

I understand if nobody knows the answer; I'm not sure who I should be asking. And I know, it sounds like one of those "When does the first trimester officially end?" questions. Like, what does it matter? But this sort of matters to me because I don't want to feel this "false" sense of security if I'm interpreting things badly and I'm actually still at a zero sum total as far as true weight gain. Even though I know this is reality and I'm just trying to focus on an "onward and upward" approach.