After a couple of IUIs, I didn't have the heart to talk about the BFNs to anyone and by the time I made it to IVF, I was only talking to one close friend about it. I blogged a bit, but my blog was spammed -- well, I got some nasty comments by some insensitive folks when I got bad news or was just having a hard time with side effects or just the whole process. It took me a few years of ttc w/ART to conceive #1 so my pregnancy came as a suprise to many as they thought that I'd given up. When I ttc'd #2 I didn't tell anyone until I'd suffered a couple of losses and, well, again, my blog was spammed (what IS it with folks??) and I fell apart from the stress of it all. I also needed some support for some surgery I had to undergo and confided in a couple of close friends for the surgery but was somewhat vague about whether or not I planned to continue to ttc (and I wasn't 100% sure myself). I had met a couple of other women IRL at that point from online infertilty boards and they would say things like, "I'm jealous of your pregnancy losses because I can't even get pregnant" ... or "I wish I was your age so I'd have more time" ... so even then it felt lonely. Maybe even lonelier. It took 6 cycles and a few losses to conceive my second child and by then I just didn't talk about it much at all because it was more difficult to talk about it than to not talk about it and I felt guility talking about it with others struggling with infertility. I was just a wreck! Now some of them have made me feel guility because I'm still in my 40s and have frozen embies left so I imagine that if I cycle again it will be a private thing.
post #21 of 21
2/16/08 at 11:42am
