Birthday Party Woes

[Metasequoia]

We've had a string of b-day parties lately. We've been sugar-free for a month now after too much sugar over the holidays. The kids' behavior is soooo much better, less tantrums, better moods, etc. Most of our friends are pretty crunchy, but not all into TF, so the majority of the cakes/cupcakes are homemade but still use white flour & sugar.

I've been immersed in some excellent reading material lately, Full Moon Feast being my current favorite book & the horrible things I have been reading about white sugar & flour are just reinforcing my feelings about what my kids eat.

Many people will say that bringing healthier substitues for your child will cause a different batch of problems so it's best to just let them eat what the other kids eat since they eat healthily at home. I just have a hard time doing this, especially since I *know* how addictive white sugar can be. I *know* that their little bodies have to give up minerals to digest the sugar - I dunno, it just feels like I'd be sitting by & watching my kids eat poison.

How do you guys deal with this?

[tanyalynn]

If you've seen behavior improvements, even if they're not dramatic and immediate (but even more so if they are), I think it's fine to bring your own treats. My perspective is a bit different than, say, a year ago because I've realized we need to have no gluten/casein, so I need to bring treats for us. It's taken a few outings for me to feel comfortable with it, but it's gotten easier. And I keep the explanation simple unless details are needed, so you may want to do the same (I even sometimes lie, though mostly to strangers who are going to stay strangers, like waiters, and say we have allergies, even though we don't).

[thedomesticdiva]

I do not lilke to lie, so I call it "food sensitivities", which is 100% true -

I bought some fancy cupcake holders and plan to use those and just freeze some "goodies" when I make them, because I have gotten to the point that I do not want to put up with the FALLOUT later....

I still have some mixes around the house, and sometimes I will cave and make blueberry muffins, and then the next day my kids are trying to strangle each other:

I was of the opinion that "once in a while does not matter" or "let them live", but it is truly dangerous, no matter if the whole of America is doing it!!

I guess I just have to come to the point where I am weird, and that is that.

[bigknitwit]

I've come full circle on this one. I used to be in the "let them live a little" camp, and have them eat the birthday food. However, my middle child is expecially sensitive to sweets. When he has one, there's lots of moaning and complaining and whining for more, that goes on for about 48 hours. It's SO NOT FUN lol My oldest is not this way, he can have the sweet for the moment and then move on. This past December, about midway through, I decided enough was enough. I was fed up with dealing with the aftermath of eating the junk. Even the small quantities of junk were having such an impact on ds2 that I cut it out strictly for everyone. No more at home, school, birthday parties, etc. And we've seen a tremendous change. His teacher just called me yesterday saying she couldn't believe the positive changes she's seen in him lately, and wondered what had happened. So the positive feedback has really helped me gain confidence that I am doing the right thing. In fact just yesterday he had a birthday party at school and I sent him with his own treats. I wondered how it would pan out, but he was totally fine with it, and loved the treats I sent along (those EFLF coconut oil/honey/ground nuts fudgy things I found the recipe for somewhere in here lol). We are also moving towards minimal grains as well (gradually), and I think that has also helped.

[Metasequoia]

Oh thank goddess, I feel sooo much better just hearing that others feel the same way. I sometimes end up feeling like I'm depriving them when I know in my heart that this is the best thing for their little bodies. The behavioral changes after eating crap just aren't worth it!

[Attached Mama]

Good thread...

Dh and I talked about this recently. DD is 2 and 1/2 now. When she was younger, it was much easier to bring a substitution. Now she wants to eat what the other kids have. So at a recent party, she had 2 bites of cake and that was it. That seemed to be ok for her.

I find that whenever she has sugar, she gets slightly congested - like she's coming down with a cold. But we give her lots of immune boosting things and it never goes any further. However, I hate hearing/seeing her even slightly sniffly.

We've kinda decided if it's a homemade cake then maybe she can have a small slice, but if it's that awful store bought stuff that is just chock full of chemicals then we will bring something. I wasn't well prepared tho for the last family get together - didnt' know there would be a b-day cake - and so she did have 2 bites of awful store cake. Ugh!! :