First babe in our 30s February thread - Page 7

[SarahJen]

Originally Posted by Grace24

Sarah... DS just went 3 days without pooping where he usually poops several times a day... suddenly last nigth he had a near-blowout! Pretty impressive.

Yeah, this is what happened last night. And then again in the tub with me, awesome. It's really hard to clean bm poo out of the tub.

So the probiotics seem to be working, there's a lot less screaming but there's still some. A bath in the evening seems to help her to relax and fall asleep too. She's worst in the evenings so we just try to be prepared for it, unfortunately the trick that works today to get her to calm down won't work again tomorrow so I'm just trying to stay one step ahead of her.

[veganone]

Originally Posted by SarahJen

So the probiotics seem to be working, there's a lot less screaming but there's still some. A bath in the evening seems to help her to relax and fall asleep too. She's worst in the evenings so we just try to be prepared for it, unfortunately the trick that works today to get her to calm down won't work again tomorrow so I'm just trying to stay one step ahead of her.

I think it was Pie a while ago who said that her theory about the evening fussiness is that they don't actually feel much worse, but they are more tired in the evening so the normal irritants are much more upsetting to them at night. Made sense to me. DD is still MUCH fussier in the evenings and we have to take it a day at a time too - nothing seems to work for more than a day or two and then we have to figure out a new system!

[veganone]

DH had an interview yesterday and one today - fingers crossed... The sellers are FREAKING out about our request for a 2 week extension on closing. Argh... It's not like we're asking for a month - we were already doing a fast closing schedule!

Isabella was FUSSY yesterday for the nanny. She's okay, but was a bit again this morning so I stayed and got her down for a nap before I left.

When do they normally hit stranger anxiety? I swear it hit her all at once on Sunday. She was fine Saturday and Sunday she got a huge pout and was ready to cry when anyone she didn't know tried to give her any attention. She used to smile right back at people! I'm sure it will get better once they get to know each other better, but it's sad that she has to be upset in the meantime... She did get her to nap well yesterday - too bad it didn't help much with bedtime!

[Grace24]

Originally Posted by PiePie

acp and grace24: i would love to hear your/your friend's issues with the nanny/au pair. i am in the process of interviewing now and i think it would help me make decisions and set rules up front.

She's going to call Sunday and tell me what happened so I should be able to elaborate more then.

I had a dream last night that my husband turned into an 18 year old. What do you think it means?

[nylecoj]

Originally Posted by Grace24

Dee... so glad you're getting a break, and really happy to hear that you, DH, and M are all doing better. Went to yoga, aaaahhhhh my back feels so much better! Wearing DS even a little in the park is so hard on my back and shoulders.

I totally agree with Julia here; I'm so glad M is feeling better ,Dee! And, Julia, yay for yoga! I need to get back too, my back is bugging me.

Originally Posted by veganone

DH had an interview yesterday and one today - fingers crossed... The sellers are FREAKING out about our request for a 2 week extension on closing. Argh... It's not like we're asking for a month - we were already doing a fast closing schedule!

Woot for your dh. Good luck good luck good luck! I hope he gets something he likes.

Bah, too tired to type more. Off to SF to visit friends tomorrow. Yay.

[acp]

Pie, our issues with our nanny are:
- she's often late
- she doesn't take any initiative to see if there's other things she could do to help when Willa is napping. I don't expect her to be busy the whole time, or to be a housekeeper at all, but I would like for her think about ways she could tidy up some of the common areas that she and Willa both use, especially when Willa has great nap days and is down for 3 hours or so. The one time I asked (really nicely) if she could help out with a little bit of sweeping up around the kitchen (while I took Willa to a playgroup for an hour) she got very offended and said it wasn't her job. There's a part of me that feels bad for expecting this - Willa's obviously the top priority - but then I look at friends who have nannies, paid less than ours, who really go above and beyond and help out around the house in a number of different ways, and, especially when I can take a bit of time away from work to spend with willa, that would be a huge help.
- She hasn't been as flexible with hours as she told us she would be.
- She's missed a lot of days - taking personal days or unpaid days - at particularly bad times.
- She's *very* depressed. I actually think is what's fueling some of the other issues. And, I'm totally sympathetic and feel really bad for her. She's from Ghana, and she and her husband made the decision last fall (before I met her) to send their two-year-old and three-year-old sons back to Ghana to stay with their grandmother during the school year. I think it was more her husband's decision than hers, and she's grown increasingly depressed about it over the course of the year. I can't imagine having my kids, especially ones that young, an ocean a way, and my heart goes out to her. But ultimately, Willa has to be my top priority, and that's a tough mental attitude to be around a lot - she's frequently despondent, and I think often has a tough time getting up in the morning and having any enthusiasm to do anything.

It's hard, because ultimately I think she really is good with Willa. And I like her. But we're already paying more than we can really afford to have a nanny, and a lot more than we'd pay for daycare, and I don't see the point of doing it if it's not someone we really love. We did talk about some of the issues with her, and it's been a bit better, though one of the things that came out in that conversation (DH had it with her) is that she relates better to men and likes DH much better than me, and I have to say, that bothered me a bit, since I spend so much time with both of us in the house together. I also think she'd like to be able to make more money and work more hours a week than we'll ever need her for. As it is, we pay her for 40 but rarely use that many, since DH has been able to be home some.
All of which has made me think we might be better off looking for someone else, but the whole thought of doing this search all over again is hard.

We're out in Colorado now. It was a long trip here - and much much harder to travel alone with Willa than it was when she was a newborn - but we made it and the snow is beautiful. I'm waiting for my mom to get back from x-country skiing now and am hoping she'll watch Willa for a couple hours so I can get out on the mountain after that. She had a rough night last night - up multiple times and then had a rough time going back to sleep each time, which is unusual for her. I don't know if it was just the strange environment or if the altitude is also bothering her (we're at about 9,000 feet). I finallly got her back to sleep this morning by bringing her in bed with me. I loved having her in there, though I coudln't sleep at all I was so worried she'd wake up and crawl off the bed before I could stop her.

Elizabeth, Good vibes to DH on the potential job! And hopefully the sellers will be patient. A two week extension is not that big a deal to ask for...

Dee, I'm so happy to hear that you're getting an occasional break and it's working out well with the babysitter.

[Grace24]

Just giving us a bump...

Amanda I'm glad you made it to CO! Hope you get some skiing time. I would bet that the depression can explain some of the issues you're having with your nanny, like you said.... speaking as someone who's suffered from severe depression in the past (in my 20's), I definitely took a lot of sick days and "personal days" from school cuz I just couldn't get out of bed. But like you said, you're paying a lot and if you're not thrilled with her maybe it's not worth it.

DH and I cleaned today... this is monumental. We fired the maids in an attempt to take control of our budget... divvied it up into tasks I could do without hurting my arms and things I needed DH to do. As a result we're much more careful about dirtying the house again! This could be a good thing for us.

[preemiemamarach]

hi all!

I miss you guys, but you'll probably see me with some regularity now, as DH just left for his 2-week business trip. Gah, I'm not happy about it. But my mom and sister are visiting from NC for the last 5 days of his absence (first time in CO for both of them, first time seeing Lucien for my sister), so that will help break it up some. I went out and spent a bunch of money on snow chains, a battery charger for the car, and emergency rations for the babe and me to stash in the car, which makes me feel a little better.

Oh, and today was my 36th birthday- my gift was moving to Colorado. DH also got me some beautiful, locally-made earrings, which was sweet (and totally against my admonishment to spend no money, but he wasn't going along with that).

Owner of the house was supposed to come out today and deal with the live electrical wires hanging from the ceiling (supposedly for a fire alarm). he didn't call or show. DH is calling the propertyy management company monday to get things moving- he'll remind them that we can (and will) take legal action if we have to.

Lucien is sleeping in his crib tonight for the first time since he was about a month old. He's been bucking like a bronco in the swing, and I think he's just too big (17.5 lbs, according to the scale). Sounds like I'm hearing a poop on the monitor, but he may be spending the rest of the night in bed with me. That's ok, I could use the company.

His first EI evaluation is Monday. They are, in fact, going by his corrected age, for those who asked, but he's still at the low end for that. I expect they'll recommend PT for his torticollis, and I'm down with that. Although he rolled from back to front when I was out of the room the other day, so he *can* do it.

Amanda, WB to CO! You were just here over the holidays, right? I'm starting to get accustomed to the temperature- it was in the 40's in town today, which felt downright balmy! Enjoy your skiing- dunno what it's like further west, but it's supposed to be bright and sunny here all week.

OK, more personals tomorrow- L seems to be ramping up for a cry, and it's 56 freakin degrees down here (another issue we're demanding they rectify). Wish me luck for my first night solo!!

[veganone]

Wow -Rach - you were up late!!! I'm sorry DH is out of town, but the sooner he leaves the sooner he'll get back, right? Sucks about the wires and temperature, though. I hope that they fix it - I think it's good they have a property management company at all. Private landlords can be AWFUL...

Happy birthday!!!!

When are they supposed to roll back to front? DD can't yet. She does the other way like a champ and gets almost over the other way, but I think she has no desire to be on her tummy... I'm sure therapy is a good idea for him, so I'm glad they are on top of it. Poor guy's been through so much.

I am thinking about trying to get Isabella to nap in her crib so that she gets used to it. She seems to sleep better flat, but only when she's with me and falls asleep (for like the first 30 minutes) snuggled up with me. Then anytime she wakes she needs the snuggle again... But, she seems somewhat uncomfortable in her bouncy seat lately. Let us know how it goes with Lucien.


Had a totally off schedule night last night - got a new mattress (exchanged the old one for an upgrade) and BIL ended up not getting here to help until 8, so the mattress didn't get here until after 9... Poor Isabella was sooo pooped! The nice thing is that even though we were up late she slept until after 9 this morning, so I think I got pretty close to 8 hours total! Woohoo!

[veganone]

Oh - house update - they accepted the extension, so now DH just needs a job!

[hazieluna]

Hi,

I'm de-lurking to let you all know that I'm still around. Nothing much going on - just constantly trying to get enough sleep, worrying about not sleeping, thinking about when Aidan will sleep next and for how long. Basically I'm obsessed with sleep these days.

OH! HAPPY BIRTHDAY Rachel!!! WOOO 36!! - I'm 36 and it's a great age. I hope this year brings you lots of joy in Colorado and maybe some peace of mind too! I hope Lucien does well tomorrow.

Am I a bad mom??? Should I be concerned that Aidan hasn't flipped over yet? And he does this swinging arm thing that is outrageous, he hits himself and me all the time!

Elizabeth, I wanted to write earlier about what happened to your DH... totally sucks and really I can't believe they can do it without any warning, so scary! What if you guys depended on him? Well : that he gets a job offer and that you can get that nice house with that pond!

Julia - we cleaned this weekend... our house was eeewwww. Now it's at least livable. My DH is freaking about money these days since I'm not working so when I suggested a cleaning lady he almost had a meltdown... heehee. We are suppose to clean together but again since I'm home more I end up doing most of the cleaning (which is pretty minimal right now).

I'm going to Florida at the beginning of March - 10 hour flight first to Memphis and then 2 hours to Fort Walton Beach with Aidan on my own. Am I insane or what? Starting to have some anxiety about the traveling. Any suggestions from you veterans dashing back and forth across the US? I know PiePie said to take lots and lots of dipes, got that one down already, anything else?

Amanda - sorry about your nanny situation. I totally feel for her, her two kids so far away - what a cuckoo idea to send them off like that! But still you have to take care of yourself and Willa, so if you are not happy...

Okay as always a long post... Sarah! Probiotics saved us too. I'm a complete advocate of them!!! I'm glad that Aveline is not crying so much. s!

Xenon - we are considering Australia as our next destination. The visa process is long and arduous though! My youngest sister is moving there at the end of March with her boyfriend (he's an Aussie). Before I commit to moving around the globe, I want to visit to make sure it's a place I'd like to live so hopefully at the end of the year we are heading there for Christmas in the summer!!! This is all just talk right now so we'll see. Good luck with your interview, I hope it works out well!

[PiePie]

Originally Posted by Grace24

DH and I cleaned today... this is monumental. We fired the maids in an attempt to take control of our budget... divvied it up into tasks I could do without hurting my arms and things I needed DH to do. As a result we're much more careful about dirtying the house again! This could be a good thing for us.

wow! here i am trying not to get made at dh for not cleaning (i am this afternoon...). my parents, who are judgy about such things, are coming on tues. i am thinking of trying to get a pro in to help me. dh is next to useless on this at the moment -- totally fixated on work, going on a business trip tomorrow. must confess i am anxious about my mother's visit.

[PiePie]

rach, we can be abandoned wives buds while our dhs are outta town. i have his biz trips. what specific gross motor milestones do they think L. has missed??

[PiePie]

rachel:

:

[PiePie]

Originally Posted by veganone

When are they supposed to roll back to front? DD can't yet. She does the other way like a champ and gets almost over the other way, but I think she has no desire to be on her tummy...

5 mos

[PiePie]

Originally Posted by hazieluna

Julia - we cleaned this weekend... our house was eeewwww. Now it's at least livable. My DH is freaking about money these days since I'm not working so when I suggested a cleaning lady he almost had a meltdown... heehee. We are suppose to clean together but again since I'm home more I end up doing most of the cleaning (which is pretty minimal right now).

major division of labor issues around housework here. exacerbated by my being a sahm for the time being. now i understand what i never did pre-baby: housekeeping and childcare are completely separate tasks! and of course paying attention to dd is my most important job, everything else can wait. still, i was a little freaked earlier this week when i heard myself thinking things to say to dh -- i sounded like i was demanding the same things you here about in free to be you and me! like verbatim. guess some things haven't changed... :

[Dee-Groovy]

: Rachel!

Xenon, DH is finishing up his Bachelor's degree right now (well off and on, but at some point I'm assuming he'll actually finish!) and wants to go to grad school in Australia. I've checked it out a little bit & it seems like there's a lot of pharma in Melbourne, which sounds pretty cool. BUT like Natalia said, I don't want to move there without checking it our first, and money is so tight that that might not be possible. I dunno. Big scary changes I don't want to think about.

Amanda your nanny situation sounds difficult. I don't think it's a bad idea to keep looking around at other options. Depression makes people unmotivated b/c life and everything in it seem hopeless and pointless. It seems like someone who's not depressed could do better interacting w/ your baby, IMHO.

Julia that's a huge step, firing the maids & taking over cleaning yourselves! Congrats & good luck! I wish we could have people come over every now and then to clean. I swore I wouldn't be that crazy first time mom who tiptoed around her sleeping baby, but dangit, she's so hard to get to sleep & put down! I don't want to undo all that work by unloading the dishwasher, kwim? I can't wait til the Ergo works better for us, but it's still hard to do normal stuff w/ a baby on you.

Natalia I was going to suggest that we get together when you visit Florida next month (if that doesn't sound weird or creepy) but you'll be about as far away from me as you can get & remain in the same state! Doh! You'll have a great time, though. The weather is great in March, especially in the northern part of the state.

Elizabeth congrats on getting the extension for the house! : your DH gets a job soon.

Pie when I was reading your post I just realized that I'm basically a SAHM right now... and I suck at it. You're so right that childcare & cleaning are separate tasks. Poor DH is doing a great job these days, even picking up slack where I leave it. He'd rather do pretty much anything instead of take care of DD when she's having a fit. I can understand that, but for some reason her crying bothers me a lot more when I'm not holding her than when I am. Is this a mom thing?

Today is DD's 3 month birthday. And coincidentally, she was conceived a year ago today. Weird that she was born exactly 9 months after conception. We have good days and bad days, but at least we have good days! I actually took her to the mall yesterday and met with a friend of mine for a couple hours! She cried some but there was a lot of background noise so I wasn't too freaked out. Now I'm more confident about taking her out again.

Sorry this is getting so long - one question. I've heard of the 4 month sleep regression but did anyone go thru a period around 3 months where their LO just stopped napping? I can't really complain b/c she sleeps great at night (where's that wood to knock on?) but she gets overtired & cranky when she doesn't nap. Our routine used to involve naps of varying lengths basically every time she ate, or at least one every 2 hours. Now she'll doze off while milk drunk for a few minutes & be rarin' to go again. I think she's going thru a growth spurt - could that be a factor?

[Grace24]

Originally Posted by MajorGroover

for some reason her crying bothers me a lot more when I'm not holding her than when I am. Is this a mom thing?

Yes. DH has no problem taking his time getting to the crying baby. I will admit sometimes it takes me a minute, but whenever possible I will go to baby first. I went back to bed this a.m. for an extra nap (woohoo! One of the advantages of the weekend) and when he came upstairs to wake me up, DS was crying downstairs in his chair. Why not bring him with you, KWIM? He'd done that before... come to tell me baby's crying, baby's hungry... and then I have to be the one to go pick him up. Ok, dude, I know you don't have the boobs, but you do have an ability to soothe. Can you tell I'm irritated with DH lately?

Anyhow... RACHEL! Happy birthday! 36 was a good year for me (I just turned 37 in December)... hope it's good for you too! Hope you get to do something fun. I'm glad your family's coming to see you. 2 weeks is a long time to be by yourself with a baby, especially. I used to hate when DH went on business trips, even for a couple days. TG his new job doesn't require it.

[Grace24]

Dee... I'm so glad you went out with DD! I've been doing trips to the park with the dogs, and walking with him in the carrier, and I always take him to my chiropractor with me (they love him, and the receptionist, bless her heart, babysits while I get worked on), and some other little things. I think it's just about getting used to having baby with you when you do stuff now. It's harder, but more fun Well, sometimes... when he's in a good mood...

[veganone]

Originally Posted by PiePie

5 mos

That's interesting - I looked in Sears' Baby Book and he says 5 mos is front to back, which she does, but six mos for back to front... So, I'm going to use his chart! Either way we have a few weeks not adjusted and another month adjusted, so I won't worry yet.

Originally Posted by MajorGroover

Xenon, DH is finishing up his Bachelor's degree right now (well off and on, but at some point I'm assuming he'll actually finish!)

for some reason her crying bothers me a lot more when I'm not holding her than when I am. Is this a mom thing?

I've heard of the 4 month sleep regression but did anyone go thru a period around 3 months where their LO just stopped napping? I can't really complain b/c she sleeps great at night (where's that wood to knock on?) but she gets overtired & cranky when she doesn't nap. Our routine used to involve naps of varying lengths basically every time she ate, or at least one every 2 hours. Now she'll doze off while milk drunk for a few minutes & be rarin' to go again. I think she's going thru a growth spurt - could that be a factor?

DH finished his Bachelor's about 7 months before I got pregnant, so I feel you on the "assuming he'll finish" thing. It's SO nice that he's all done now!

Yes, it's normal that you can handle crying in arms better! I can't even stand it when she cries and DH has her - I just have such a strong urge to hold her! We do take turns at night, though, since that's been so challenging lately...

DD's naps were never great until lately and even then it depends on the day. She went through phases of good or bad naps, but I don't know if they coincide with an age or not??? Growth spurts definitely affect sleep here, though. Could be.

Originally Posted by Grace24

Dee... I'm so glad you went out with DD! I've been doing trips to the park with the dogs, and walking with him in the carrier, and I always take him to my chiropractor with me (they love him, and the receptionist, bless her heart, babysits while I get worked on), and some other little things. I think it's just about getting used to having baby with you when you do stuff now. It's harder, but more fun Well, sometimes... when he's in a good mood...

We're getting to where DD is happier if we get out! I think she gets bored being home all day - when we're out she tends to look around and is interested in everything rather than overwhelmed like she used to be. Other than sleep, 5 mos is really fun!!! Much better than four, which was really hard for us for some reason. SHE's more fun every month, but 4 mos had so many sleep issues and teething...