Operation Deswaddle Benjamin UPDATE
Well, I think at this point I consider Benjamin successfully deswaddled. I just stuck with the cold turkey approach. Last week wasn't fun, but we made it. On Thursday (or maybe Wednesday? I don't really know, everything blends) Benjamin slept through the night completely deswaddled (9PM-7AM). Of course I woke up at 5AM bursting (I had to go pump) and then couldn't sleep because I just knew he had wedged himself someplace and suffocated. He was actually still sleeping at 7AM when I went in to his room, but I couldn't stand it any longer (he HAD wedged himself into a corner of his crib, but was totally fine, of course). We haven't repeated the success of that night, but he is going to sleep unswaddled fairly easily and waking only 2-3 times per night (which is normal for him...or at least has been for the past month or so. I really miss the days of only 1 night waking). One thing that I think helped him "deswaddle" was cranking the heat up in his room (we have a spcae heater in there now and I keep the temp at about 76 degrees...rest of the house is 68 degrees). Without the swaddle blanket he has no covers and I think he was getting cold.
I will say I am slightly peeved that DH hasn't put Benjamin to bed once since I started operation deswaddle (nor has he gotten up during the night...so much for "taking turns"
: I guess it is time for another breakdown). I am going to a conference in March and will be gone for 4 nights. I cannot wait for DH to have to do it all himself (although I do have sad visions of Benjamin CIO at night, but I just have to trust that DH won't do that and that even if he does, Benjamin will just perserve with the crying if he really needs something).
Dee - Hmm. I was going to suggest $10 per hour. Maybe that is too much? I know that someone with her credentials could easily charge much more than that (going rate around here for someone with those credentials is like $14-15 per hr!). What's minimum wage these days? $7? Maybe you could give her $8?
Sorry Mathilde is having a tough time.
: that you can fix whatever is bothering her.
Sarah - The constant crying is so so so tough. BTDT. I even posted a thread about it titled something like "My baby hates being awake". Benjamin seriously cried ALL THE TIME (unless he was asleep). I couldn't even really take him out in public because he would ALWAYS meltdown. It sucked. I had hoped that all of his crying and stuff would peak at 6 weeks and then slow down. Eh, not so much for us. What happened at 6 weeks was take he started sleeping less during the day so it actually felt like he cried MORE. There was a point during week 10 when I seriously thought I wasn't going to make it. However, around week 11 things started to get better - although he was still a very fussy baby. However, once he hit about 4 months things got SIGNIFICANTLY better. He is a happy little guy now who rarely melts down. I love it.
I think he is just one of those babies who doesn't really like being a baby! Around 4.5 months he really got the hang of rolling around, grabbing things, and had superior head control (could turn and look at whatever he wanted to). I think he just stopped being so frustrated, you know? He also discovered an intermediate voice (as opposed to the happy coos which would instantly turn to SCREAMING the sec he was unhappy) where he can "tell" us he is getting unhappy without moving into complete meltdown mode.
I went through a whole bunch of worries, does he have colic, does he have reflux, is he just a miserable person, will it be like this forever, etc. My ped is VERY hands off and she really wanted us to take a wait & see approach (esp. with the reflux. In her opinion ALL babies have some reflux and she does not like to medicate until after 4 months...turns out Benjamin's screaming and major spitting up started clearing up at 4 months, just like the the ped said it would. Now at 5 months we hardly ever have major spit ups).
I guess the point of this is to tell you that 1). I know it is super hard (I mean SUPER hard. So hard it makes me question whether I could ever have another baby) but 2). it WILL get better. Maybe not as soon as you would like (I was really counting on that 6 week thing), but it WILL get better. You just have to hang in there and take it day by day.
I do want to second Amanda's recommendations about sleep. This was really key with Benjamin too. We could prevent some of the meltdowns if I stuck to the go to sleep every 2 hours rule. It sucked and it meant I really couldn't go anywhere with him during that time, but he really really really needed that sleep. For Benjamin, sleep really did beget sleep. One thing I would do if he just would not go down by himself, is to snuggly nurse/sleep with him in our bed (we aren't cosleepers). Even if he fussed for an hour, he would eventually fall asleep and so would I. These naps really saved me from losing it.
One other thing...does swaddling work for Aveline? It SAVED me. I probably would have chucked Benjamin out a window if it weren't for the all powerful and wonderful Miracle Blanket. When we first started swadlling him he would kinda struggle and resist, but after a week or two (once he had learned that it DOES help him?) he loved it.
As for your DH. Ugh. I really don't know what to say. My DH and I still have some struggles with who has to take care of the baby. Part of the problem is that DH is way more likely to let Benjamin fuss & cry and just use his voice to "soothe". It drove me absolutely batty. I found that I did better if I just left the two of them alone (either leaving the room and going to take a nap) or leaving the house entirely. I figured they would just have to work it out between them (even if it wasn't the way I wanted things done).
Elizabeth - So sorry about Dhs job and the house. That really sucks
However, YAY for good Isabella sleep!
re Valentines Day - We usually ignore it in our house. Maybe a card, maybe not. For what it's worth, DH still hasn't given me my bday present (my bday is in Aug). We are just kinda that way.
:
: so I'm torn.
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