Originally Posted by firefaery
I think it's wonderful that he is so involved! I also salute you on your communication. That will make it so much easier for a partner to understand. The only thing (and this is again me on my soapbox) that I would say is to try not to see it as a problem with your body. Your body is doing EXACTLY what it is supposed to be doing. IT may be your "issue" but in my mind that is a whole different energy than saying your body is somehow not functioning properly. As women it is so important for us to remain connected and honor our beautifully functioning selves! Even if it's not what you *want* to see, it's still nature working at it's best.
Of course I do come from the place that our emotions affect our physical selves. So for me it is VERY important to try and have my thoughts lining up in a way that appreciate my body and respect it. Instead of trying to fix it, I try to give it the tools it requires and allow it to fix itself. That may sound like semantics, but in case it resonates with you I thought I'd throw it out there.
Thank you for the reminder. I totally agree about the emotions (and what we say) affecting our physical selves. But what I meant by the problem being in my body was that my body was reacting to something in the environment (usually chemicals, sometimes something I ate) and so it wasn't responding in the way it was meant to. Something was interfering, KWIM? There were also some major emotional issues early on, but that was different. My body was making perfect sense then (not what either of us wanted, but still it made sense). I worked through those. It was the reactions to things that threw me. I guess you could say my body was sending me signals that something was wrong. But it sure felt like a betrayal at the time.
Also, in the earlier post, I was distinguishing between something that my dh had done and something that was out of his (and my) control. I do think it's important to communicate that at the time. IME it makes all the difference in how my dh feels about things.
As an example of what I'm talking about, a fairly mild reaction still happens to me. Afterwards I can barely walk sometimes. I don't know what causes it, if it's hormonal or the MS or what. And I don't know why it happens sometimes and not others. But since neither of us blames dh, and since we know it's temporary, no one feels bad about it, and we just laugh about it. At first, though, dh felt awful when that would happen. He thought he had hurt me.
Originally Posted by jhow32000
However, if one more person tells me to just try having sex even when I don't want to and that I'll start to enjoy is during the act....I may have to snatch someone bald!
Gosh, if I wanted my husband to touch me or even breathe on me in the first place I probably wouldn't be posting this, would I? It's that hump that is the big issue! Just kidding about the snatching
I'm sorry! I didn't mean to tell you what you should do. I was sharing what has worked for me. But I guess I was insensitive about it, and I'm very sorry for that. I know you don't need that.
I sure hope the testosterone helps you!