i'm miserable today

[mysticmomma]

Today was just one of those really hard days. It's overwhelming to be
a SAHM (Stay at home mom) sometimes. I'm nursing my 11 month old and
my 3 year old, and am desperately ready to wean my 3 year old. I'm
profoundly depressed, my zoloft isn't working, I'm not sleeping, I'm crying and ANGRY all the time. I'm not a nice person to be around. I'm seeing an endocrine specialist right now, as we think I've got cushings syndrome, and I'm just overwhelmed at life. We're moving this weekend, and all the people
that committed to me that they would be here to help, either with
moving or watching kids have flaked out. These are people I bend over
freaking backwards for, so it just stings that much more. I had two friends in the area, both of whom have just stopped contacting me out of the blue, and I don't know why. I've called each of them a few times, but don't get anything back and it's like this silent rejection. DH and I haven't dtd all month, despite his increased sex drive and my practically begging. He rejected me 2 times in one night (inadvertantly he says, and I beleive him, but it still hurts).

I just needed to come here and say that my life sucks right now, and even
though I'm extremely heavy right now, and feeling uncomfortable,
despite good nutrition and exercise, that doesn't mean it's time for
me to go crazy and abuse my body and soul like I did in the past. I'm depressed, and know it will pass, but I'm just freaking miserable today

[friendlymamma]

I don't really have anything for you except encouragement. I hope things get better soon.

[Thandiwe]

*Big hugs* to you. It's so not easy being a SAHM; it's the most difficult, ungrateful jobs in the world. It's the job that never ends day or night. I had PPD with both babes, and the first time Zoloft didn't cut it. I was exactly how you are: sad and angry and a total b***h. The only thing that worked for me was to get my babe to a year old and then wean so I could go onto Effexor. Is that maybe something you could think about working towards? I know how awful it is to have to wean prematurely, but you deserve your sanity. Moving is very stressful and having two little ones makes it harder.

Just something to consider...Zoloft doesn't work for everyone. No matter what, I hope you find some peace soon. You don't always have to be so brave....

[hibana]

Hope you can find some peace soon, mama.

[shell024]

Aw mama, couldnt not reply. I really do feel your pain. And moving on top of all that?! That is a bag of stress being dumped on your head. I've been there...twice. You need support. I hope you find a counselor as soon as you move, or someone to talk to at LEAST. You deserve the help mama, dont feel guilty about giving it to yourself. Your family will benefit greatly by having a HAPPY mama.

[mysticmomma]

Thanks everyone. I've been off line because of the move. I'm being switched to cymbalta, which I'm comfortable using even while nursing my 1 year old. It hits it's max at 6 hours, so what I've been doing is taking it at 6 am, and then nursing freely until lunch time. Then around 11am I start distracting him through about 1pm for nap time and then nurse freely again. The milk levels are about 1/4 of blood levels, which is less than 7ug per day. The molecular weight is also fairly high (334) which means it is more difficult to transport into milk. It's also been found that I am severely anemic, so I'm adding lots of vitamin c, b vitamins and black strap molasses to my diet. We'll see how I feel in a few weeks. Has anyone heard anything about deplin?

[Smidge]

I hope things improve for you in the near future! :

[Surfacing]

I hope things get better for you soon. I know usually when we have a really bad day, things bounce back again shortly after. I hope this is the case for you too! Is the cymbalta working? Keep us posted. I can SO relate to being b*tchy and angry due to mood stuff. It's so hard.

Can anyone come help you after the move?