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Ma'am, would you please put out your ciggerette?

post #1 of 88
Thread Starter 
I asked a lady to put out her ciggerette today atthe playground and she got really nasty with me!

She said "Why?" I said " because I dont want my dd exposed to smoke" She said "Its a public place, I can do whatever i want." (She was like 40....or maybe 30, but the smoke aged her LOL) She sounded like a little kid!

She was RIGHT by the sandbox where my 2 yr old was balence beam walking aroiund the edge. She was so close to her that had my dd fallen off the edge, she would have been burned by the ciggerette.

What is your experience with asking people to put out their cigs? Are they usually nasty? (Its a drug addiction, so I can understand)

I used to smoke but NEVER at a playground, and I would have never said NO too someone at a playground who asked me to put it out.

That sucks. I am going to see about getting "NO SMOKING" signs for the playground. I wonder how i do that.
post #2 of 88
Um, I smoke but never ever at a playground and if someone asked me to put out my cig regardless of location I would have no problem obliging. I can only guess that this woman was a bit of a UA violation. Sorry you and your babe had to deal with that.

Shay
post #3 of 88
I smoke, but haven't ever smoked at a playground. I the possibility for applying for No Smoking signs there. It is a children area, and it boggles my mind that adults would think it acceptable to smoke right next to play areas.

Peace
post #4 of 88
people smoke at our park all the time. i usually just redirect my kids to an area far away from the person until they are no longer smoking. it's never a big deal for them, because there is ALWAYS something else fun to do at the park. i do think it's disrespectful to smoke around children in any situation. i was one of these kids raised in a car full of smoke with the windows rolled up. it's amazing i'm still living..... with asthma and allergies
post #5 of 88
I have not had good luck in trying to avoid smoke with my ds, who has asthma and reacts very poorly to smoke.

Here is the worst of it. My dw has a "best friend" who she has been friends with for over 20 years. When our ds was 4 months old, his asthma was so bad that *all the time* you could hear his breathing from the opposite end of the house. Every time we went to the peds office, we'd walk in, they'd hear his breathing, and they would rush us back and hook ds up to the pulse ox. We had to have him on some major medications to keep him alive. When I see videos of him from when he was that age, I have to turn the volume down because it tears my heart out to hear how he struggled.

Anyway, so we lived over 3000 miles away from this "best friend" of my dw. But we had planned a trip out to see dw's family and friends when ds was four months. Keep in mind that this isn't a trip we were able to make any more than once a year. And bear in mind we had this brand new baby we were so excited to introduce to dw's loved ones.

So as the trip got closer, dw let her two friends who smoke, including her "best friend" know that ds has asthma and was really having a hard time. She told them that smoke was a trigger for ds, even residual smoke on clothes. She told them that since he was still so little and cuddly that if anyone wanted to hold them, they'd need to put on a shirt first that they hadn't smoked in. She also asked that they not smoke around us, even if we were outside (why so many smokers don't seem to get that the wind blows smoke *everywhere*, I don't know). She was very polite about how she asked, to the point that I told her I felt she was being too apologetic.

She definitely didn't say, "you can't smoke," "you suck because you smoke," "you can't hold my baby," or anything like that.

Well, before we got out there, folks apparently thought we were joking. But when we got out there and held firm, dw's two smoker friends blew up on us and said they wouldn't come visit, etc. etc. dw and her "best friend" didn't speak for TWO YEARS! They are just now starting to mend that fence.

I just don't get it. What is more important than the health of a child? How could anyone know how my ds struggled and not want to do what they could to keep him alive and well?

dw has one other friend who smoked, who lived much closer to us at the time. She was always 100% accomodating and sweet about it, and she said she thought dw's two friends from the other coast were being outrageous.

It was a very hurtful situation.

As for strangers, we usually hold our breath and run past them (of course they are usually holding their cigs down by their sides, right about at ds' level gggrrrrr...and he can't hold his breath yet), which irritates me that folks are so unaware that they don't realize that yes, even standing out on the sidewalk, your smoke is going everywhere. Do these people not walk past other smokers? Unless there is a *strong* wind blowing only in one direction, the smoke seriously permeates a huge radius around them. You can smell it.

I do ask people to put out there cigs at the park, etc...in kid spaces. I also ask them to please put their cig butts in the trash (rather than throwing them on the ground where little kids will crawl and walk over them and maybe pick them up and try to eat them...not to mention that they are not exempt from being LITTER-- why cig butts are the last acceptable litter is beyond me). I do it very politely, but I stand firm. Usually, however, it is to no avail and I end up having to take my kids elsewhere.

I've about had it.
post #6 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by transformed View Post
I asked a lady to put out her ciggerette today atthe playground and she got really nasty with me!
Ya think? She's outside in a public space...while you're at it you might as well ask people driving by the park not to due to the noxious exhaust fumes. Unless there is a "smoke free" sign or bylaw in place there's nothing you can really do...so don't be surprised at her reaction.

Honestly, if you don't want your dd to be exposed to this ladies cigarette either a) move to another piece of playground equipment or b) go to another park.

I'm not a smoker btw...
post #7 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by NaomiMcC View Post
Ya think? She's outside in a public space...while you're at it you might as well ask people driving by the park not to due to the noxious exhaust fumes. Unless there is a "smoke free" sign or bylaw in place there's nothing you can really do...so don't be surprised at her reaction.

Honestly, if you don't want your dd to be exposed to this ladies cigarette either a) move to another piece of playground equipment or b) go to another park.

I'm not a smoker btw...
Really?

Maybe it's because I live where it is illegal to smoke at parks anywhere near playground equipment and it is illegal for an adult to smoke in a vehicle with a minor in the same vehicle, I don't see the request as anything unreasonable. It is a well known fact that second hand smoke is detrimental, and especially so in young developing lungs.

I was a smoker and I wouldn't smoke around kids. And if I was ever in a place where a lot of adults frequently smoke, say a bar back when it was legal to smoke I would never be offended if a person asked me not to smoke. I may get up and go somewhere else to light up, but I think it's rude to infringe on someone else's breathing.
post #8 of 88
Thread Starter 
I tried to move my 2 year old and she threw a 2 year old fit because she was very happy in the sandbox playing.

I was also trying to nurse my 1 month old at the time and keep an eye on my 4 yr old.

Its not always easy just to "Move to another part of the park."

Smokers have a right to smoke, yes.

But not at the expense of children who dont have a choice.
post #9 of 88
Thread Starter 
oops double post
post #10 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by transformed View Post
Its not always easy just to "Move to another part of the park."
:

Not to mention the fact that the playground is the only place for children to play, but a smoker can go anywhere to smoke -- what an odd choice to sit right by a playground and light up.
post #11 of 88
I'm not a smoker so I have a hard time understanding the appeal (other than it being an addiction). I also have really bad ears...if I get within 5 feet of cig smoke I end up with an ear infection.

I live in VA and the parks here all have no smoking signs and warnings of legal consequences if caught smoking on the playgrounds by a ranger or park/rec rep.

I've never come across anyone smoking at playgrounds around here (possibly because of the fine involved?). However, almost ALL of the moms smoke at the bus stop. Because it is an outdoor space I can always move DSD away from the smoking but it is still gross. What really kills me are the ladies that walk up to the bus to get their children off/on the bus. They all hold the cigs back behind them like that is actually going to do something. Ick.

I've never said anything to anyone about it because I'm a wuss. Anyway, all of our parks here have like a ranger type station. If yours do then I would contact them and let them know it's an issue and ask what can be done about it. Good luck!
post #12 of 88
"Of course you have a right to smoke in public but you look like a reasonable person that cares about the health of children so I didn't think it would put you out too much to walk 50 yards away."
post #13 of 88
Sheesh, that's tough.
I'm too much of a wuss myself to ask smokers to put out their ciggies. But if you had made a polite request to the smoker, I think it was a bit inconsiderate of her to respond that way whether it was legal for her to smoke in that park or not.
post #14 of 88
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by grumpybear View Post
Sheesh, that's tough.
I'm too much of a wuss myself to ask smokers to put out their ciggies. But if you had made a polite request to the smoker, I think it was a bit inconsiderate of her to respond that way whether it was legal for her to smoke in that park or not.
I was really scared.

But I looked and saw the children within 5 feet of her and I decided I;d better advocate for those children.
post #15 of 88
really I never occured to me I had a right to ask anyone to stop smoking in a public place where smoking was allowed. Just like I had no control over any of their other behavior. In your position I would have just moved somewhere else fior a while and then gone back when she finished smoking.

fortunately I can't remember running into anyone rude enough to sit still and smoke on the play ground. Usually they ar ejust walking around the playground with it if they are close to the children at all. I do think most people are more considerate than that.
post #16 of 88
The woman had as much of a right to smoke where she was as you did to play where you were. It was horribly inconsiderate of the woman to be smoking so close to the children, and you did nothing wrong by politely asking her to move; but she really didn't have to move.

Sometimes smokers just get sick of the militant non-smokers that they will take it out on anyone that mentions it, whether they were polite and with good reason or not.

Just sayin'.
post #17 of 88
I would have assumed she was clueless and selfish in the first place for smoking so close to little kids. So, I would have not even tried to talk to her. I would have just moved my kids or gone home if it really bothered me. Maybe gone for a walk and hoped she moved.

I am glad I live in a state where that is illegal now. You cannot smoke in public places in WA anymore. You have to be 25 feet away or something like that. Yeah!
post #18 of 88
Maybe contact your city parks commission or the equivalent? Where I live ALL playgrounds have a "no smoking" sign posted. It is illegal to smoke at playgrounds here. It SHOULD be everywhere. Dh is a smoker, btw, and FULLY supports making smoking illegal around children.
post #19 of 88
i've frequently asked people to move - i don't think it ever occurred to me to ask them to put it out. i've just phrased it matter of factly, "would you mind moving somehwere else? my son has asthma and your smoke will trigger an attack."
post #20 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pancakes View Post
The woman had as much of a right to smoke where she was as you did to play where you were. It was horribly inconsiderate of the woman to be smoking so close to the children, and you did nothing wrong by politely asking her to move; but she really didn't have to move.
As unfortunate as it is, this is totally true. It's just too bad that some people will behave in a totally inconsiderate/potentially damaging manner just because what they're doing isn't against the law. I strive to have my treatment of others be a little better than just "not illegal."
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