or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Ma'am, would you please put out your ciggerette?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Ma'am, would you please put out your ciggerette? - Page 2

post #21 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sierra View Post
I just don't get it. What is more important than the health of a child?
This really boggles my mind. I guess some people just don't get how harmful cigarette smoke is. I live in a place where winters are pretty cold and I've seen people in their cars smoking with infants/toddlers/children in the passenger seat. And of course because it's cold the windows are down by just about an inch or two. This is a sight I regularly see.
post #22 of 88
I probably wouldn't have said anything. It's an outdoor space, right? So how much smoke is your child really getting? Compare that to the traffic exhaust while you're walking to the park and I would bet the cigarette smoke is the least thing to worry about...
post #23 of 88
We belong to a private pool, we joined before learning they don't have any rules against smoking. I guess we don't leave because really there is no other private pool in our town besides the country club (too expensive) and the county pool is way too restrictive (can't bring in your own snacks/drinks, no toys/floaties, plus daily admission is pretty price-y).

There is sort of an informal "side" of the pool where smoking is more common, far from the kiddie pool or concession area, but once I was chatting with a mom in the KIDDIE POOL area and she lit up! She was sitting on the edge with her feet dangling in the water, talking to her kid and SMOKING. I was totally shocked. We had been talking but I immediately picked DS up and took him over to the big pool hoping she'd get the hint. I'm way too wimpy to say anything, I mean I honestly am frightened of people who demonstrate such staggering cluelessness about appropriate social behavior. Like maybe they'll start screaming at me or assaulting me if I get on their bad side. Better to just move away.
post #24 of 88
It always amazes me when people choose to smoke in an area designated for children. I usually try to direct my children to a different area. From your post, I see that this didn't work in your situation. I probably would have asked her to move, too. Sorry she dumped on you!
post #25 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by ebethmom View Post
It always amazes me when people choose to smoke in an area designated for children. I usually try to direct my children to a different area. From your post, I see that this didn't work in your situation. I probably would have asked her to move, too. Sorry she dumped on you!
:
post #26 of 88
We seem to have the same problem here of people even ones that don't have children playing at the park wanting to sit on the bench in the middle of the play area and light up.
Another one that really gets to me is that at our local zoo they have 2 designated smoking areas, but people still smoke everywhere. We were there in early Nov. and there was a couple that both of them were smoking one after another and seemed to be following us around the zoo so my DH finally confronted them with the fact that there is a no smoking rule at the zoo except where specified. They went into a rant on that those places are not convenent and it is there right to smoke where they need to, and if we didn't like it we should leave the zoo. At least they stopped following us.
post #27 of 88
I agree that it is better not to smoke where children are playing, and yes it can be a nuisance, particularly if your child has a reaction to tiny amounts of smoke, but

I think some of you are overreacting to the relative safety and actual nuisance of outside second hand smoke.

I mean, I feel smothered when people are wearing a moderate amount of perfume inside. Should wearing perfume inside be illegal?
post #28 of 88
i don't ask people to put out their cigs when outside. it is a public place. as much as i don't like it & think it's nasty, especially around kids, i'd just move us away from her & her smoke.
post #29 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post
Not to mention the fact that the playground is the only place for children to play, but a smoker can go anywhere to smoke -- what an odd choice to sit right by a playground and light up.
Hmmm...i havent read all the replies so maybe this has already been addressed....but i find your comment kinda odd. I assume the smoker mom actually was watching her children play at the park, yes? So she couldnt really "go anywhere to smoke"....because she was watching her kid(s). Just as one poster said that getting up and moving to a different location to avoid the smoke might not be an option if you are juggling several kids at once, getting up and hiking halfway across the park to where there are no other people, to smoke, might not be an option for this mom. Yes, the simple answer is "dont smoke" but most smokers i know are addicted and have a very difficult time stopping. My sister is a chain smoker, and if she only smoked at home and not in any public place....well, she'd never leave her house. Thats not quite fair to her child is it?

And since when is the playground "the only place for children to play"? Hmmm. Dont really get that.

Quote:
I think some of you are overreacting to the relative safety and actual nuisance of outside second hand smoke.
:

I'm really surprised that people think their kids are in grave danger from a few minutes of indirect exposure to cigarette smoke in an outdoor area. It really never occurred to me to be so worried about such things. I'm not a smoker, btw, but i can't imagine asking a smoker to move or not smoke, in a public open-air space, where i have the option of moving myself. An elevator, yes maybe. The park? Uh, no.


Katherine
post #30 of 88
I can't stand it when people smoke around me. I'd be sooo angry if someone started smoking near my son at the playground. Yeah, the person has the right to smoke in public, but my son has the right to breath (relatively) clean air that won't cause cancer. I sincerely hope that every playground soon adopts rules against smoking.
post #31 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by grniys View Post
I can't stand it when people smoke around me. I'd be sooo angry if someone started smoking near my son at the playground. Yeah, the person has the right to smoke in public, but my son has the right to breath (relatively) clean air that won't cause cancer. I sincerely hope that every playground soon adopts rules against smoking.
post #32 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by grniys View Post
Yeah, the person has the right to smoke in public, but my son has the right to breath (relatively) clean air that won't cause cancer.
Of all the things that can cause cancer to develop (from genetic predisposition, to poor diet, to smoking, to being constantly exposed to carcinogens in the air, etc etc)...do you *really* truly believe that being occasionally exposed to cigarette smoke in a huge open space like a playground makes much of a difference? If so, then wouldnt the gasses given off by the clothing of smokers (who arent smoking at that time) be dangerous too?


Katherine
post #33 of 88
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it is not just the health risk of the second-hand smoke, which I acknowledge is probably fairly negligble to children some ten feet or so away.

The deal for me is, it's flat-out rude and offensive. It is as disgusting and abhorrent to me as if that person were standing there spouting obscenities. There is an issue of modeling here, I do not want my son to EVER see smoking as even remotely socially appropriate. That may sound extreme but for the most part, with how restricted smoking now is, that's how it works. He rarely sees anyone smoking. Certainly not in restaurants, or stores, or airports, or anywhere else we go. We do not have any friends who smoke. I'd rather he not see some random mom normalizing smoking at the playground or pool either.

Flame away...
post #34 of 88
So much for "it's a free country".

I'm not a smoker. Never have been. But people do have the right to smoke where there's no prohibition against it. If someone doesn't like that? They have the right - and freedom - to go elsewhere. Kids can actually play almost anywhere. With anything, even.
post #35 of 88
Sure they have the right. Just like I have the "right" to fart in a crowded elevator. But I'd hold it, because I have respect that there are others near me sharing my environment. I'm talking about what is socially appropriate, not what is legally permissible.
post #36 of 88
Of course its a free country. She wasn't implying it wasn't. She was asking for courtesy and people do that all the time. There's such a thing as civility. A woman at a brunch restaurant asked me yesterday if my son could stop kicking his seat, apparently she could feel the vibrations at her table. (He was just absentmindedly swinging his legs since they don't reach the ground.) I said, of course, and then explained the situtation to him. It didn't bother me at all that she asked for courtesy. And if we were somewhere and she were smoking near my playing child, I would have asked for similary courtesy. Sure the person doesn't have to accomodate you. But it isn't rude to ask actually. And when smoking was way more common, twenty years ago, it was considered polite to ask the people around you before lighting up. "Would you mind if I smoke" was a normal part of conversation. Civility -- we don't have to be afraid to talk to each other nicely. We live in communities.
post #37 of 88
I think it's unrealistic to expect members of the general public to prevent my child from seeing something i might not approve of. I'm also not afraid of my child seeing smoking and similar behaviours - I think it's an excellent teaching opp to discuss addiction, health risks, etc.
post #38 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama View Post
I think it's unrealistic to expect members of the general public to prevent my child from seeing something i might not approve of. I'm also not afraid of my child seeing smoking and similar behaviours - I think it's an excellent teaching opp to discuss addiction, health risks, etc.
I agree with this. I also agree that she has the right to sit there and smoke (unless there is a law against it... ), and that outside cigarette smoke is nothing to get worked up over, at least not in comparison to the cars the driving by, as others have pointed out. Yet I still find it tacky and wrong. I think I'm so against it because she could walk a couple yards away and still smoke, but leaving the park means we can't play. It would be courteous of her to move.

I don't see the harm in asking. I think it's ridiculous that asking favors from strangers is out of line simply because they have the "right" to do something. I often ask people if I may squeeze by them at the grocery, and they oblige by moving their carts. They have the "right" to stand in the middle of the isle, so should I go around so as not to ask of a question of someone that goes against their rights in the situation? What an ugly world we would live in if that were the case.
post #39 of 88
I think it's rude and while it might not be a popular view, I think ciggs should be illegal. People start smoking them often long before they're even legal to do so and they get addicted.

I've seen a few people walking through the park our playgroup uses smoking but I have no doubt, if someone got right in the middle of a bunch of kids- someone would ask them to leave. Thankfully, it hasn't been a problem.

You know what pisses me off to no end? When people stand right outside the door to a store and smoke. Yesterday going into target a store employee was standing between the two doors smoking. It was windy and we had to walk through his stinking smoke. When we got inside my little one wanted me to hold him rather than ride in the cart and I realized he SMELLED LIKE SMOKE! I went to the manager and complained. If he had asthma that could have been really dangerous for him. And what pisses me off the most is that THAT is not taken seriously. These days with all the peanut allergies I can't give my kid a peanut butter sandwich at school. If peanut butter can actually harm another child, that's just tough crap and turkey and cheese it is. So if smoke can actually even briefly harm a kid, they shouldn't be written off and have to just stay home to avoid it.

A few days before someone stood right outside the swinging door at TGI fridays smoking for the entire wait. We sat in a crowded box with benches being filled with smoke. You can bet I complained.
post #40 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jörð View Post

You know what pisses me off to no end? When people stand right outside the door to a store and smoke.
I have a MUCH bigger problem with this then smoking in an open park, especially if it is the only entrance/exit. Most of the time there is an over hang too (which is what attracts smokers, they can smoke in the rain and not get wet) so it traps the smoke in that area. I REALLY begrudge being forced to walk through second hand smoke, which is not really the case in a park. A few yards distance makes all the difference in a park, which you don't get when walking through an exit with someone smoking outside the door. I get down right hostile when people do that. It's beyond inconsiderate.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Ma'am, would you please put out your ciggerette?