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Ma'am, would you please put out your ciggerette? - Page 4

post #61 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrandiRhoades View Post
She asked. The other woman refused. It's not a big deal. Just because a stranger asks something of me doesn't mean I have to oblige. I don't even think it's all that rude to say that it's legal to smoke in the park. Even if the smoker said it with a snotty tone, so what? She also has the right to be rude. I find it odd that people can ask something and expect others to respond just as they want them to. I don't think the OP or the smoker did anything wrong; they just happen to disagree about the propriety of smoking in a park.
I agree. I think smoking is nasty, but it's up to me to keep my family away from it in places where smoking is allowed. Public playgrounds are...public.
post #62 of 88
Luckily in our area you cannot smoke with in 25 feet of a public entrance or with in 25 feet of a designated children's play area. And you also cannot smoke in any public buildings, including bars or taverns.
post #63 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by Demeter9 View Post
I am sure that some of you actually believe that it is a survival of the fittest thing too, where you are doing us all a favour by killing off the weak people. Or that all the "weak" should stay home.
You can't be serious.
post #64 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by queenjane View Post
I'm really surprised that people think their kids are in grave danger from a few minutes of indirect exposure to cigarette smoke in an outdoor area.
For kids with asthma or reactive airway disease, it can be grave danger. And even if it's not "grave danger," who really wants their kid to breathe any amount of second-hand smoke?

I don't really buy the "It's a public place, if you don't like someone's smoke, move." Nonsmokers have just as much right as smokers to be in public places, and to me, it's a no-brainer that the person who bears the most responsibility in this situation is the one who is doing something that could potentially harm others.

Quote:
militant non-smokers
Eh? That's like saying "militant anti-drunk-drivers." I mean, come on ... you're doing something that dangerous to you, dangerous to other ... of COURSE there will be people who are opposed to it. And rightfully so, imho.

dm
post #65 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by North_Of_60 View Post
I have a MUCH bigger problem with this then smoking in an open park, especially if it is the only entrance/exit. Most of the time there is an over hang too (which is what attracts smokers, they can smoke in the rain and not get wet) so it traps the smoke in that area.
Ah, not only that, but buildings have air intake systems...as in the buildings have to "breathe." Air intake often occurs in places exactly like these entry ways.

I have just begun working in a new church, and two of the staff smoke several times each day outside the entry way upstairs from my office. There is a huge, heavy steel "fire door" between my office and that staircase. Yet, there are times when I am in a meeting in my office, with both the door to my office and the door to the stairway completely closed, and all of the sudden, everyone starts to smell smoke. Why should we be subjected to that? It gives me a headache, and when my ds is with me, if it lingers too long the wheezing starts and this can be a prelude to an outright awful asthma attack.

Peanut allergies are awful, but most folks do not suffer ill effects from being exposed to peanut oils. In fact, peanuts can be a wonderful, nutritious part of a healthy diet for lots of folks. However, cig smoke is never nutritious, and is harmful to all people whether or not you are like my child for whom it can be deadly.

dm said it very well in her post, including this:

Quote:
For kids with asthma or reactive airway disease, it can be grave danger. And even if it's not "grave danger," who really wants their kid to breathe any amount of second-hand smoke?
post #66 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by NaomiMcC View Post
Ya think? She's outside in a public space...while you're at it you might as well ask people driving by the park not to due to the noxious exhaust fumes. Unless there is a "smoke free" sign or bylaw in place there's nothing you can really do...so don't be surprised at her reaction.

Honestly, if you don't want your dd to be exposed to this ladies cigarette either a) move to another piece of playground equipment or b) go to another park.

I'm not a smoker btw...
that's what I was thinking

I can't control what other people do, just my reaction to it. When my kidlets were younger and I didn't want them exposed to the smoke, I moved- I didn't ask others to stop. but that's me, I'm weird that way.
post #67 of 88
I wrote a reply to this hours ago and the computer ate it. I'll try again:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sierra View Post
I have just begun working in a new church, and two of the staff smoke several times each day outside the entry way upstairs from my office. There is a huge, heavy steel "fire door" between my office and that staircase. Yet, there are times when I am in a meeting in my office, with both the door to my office and the door to the stairway completely closed, and all of the sudden, everyone starts to smell smoke. Why should we be subjected to that? It gives me a headache, and when my ds is with me, if it lingers too long the wheezing starts and this can be a prelude to an outright awful asthma attack.
Have you talked to the staff members? Approached them nicely and explain that the cig smoke is bugging you? They probably have no idea that it reaches your office. I've personally found that smokers are pretty amenable to moving or putting out a cig. if they know i'm bothered, and esp if i ask politely and dont try to make it into a moral issue. Your experience may vary of course. I think a big reason why there are always crowds of smokers around doors outside is that there is no place to smoke *inside* (due to anti-smoking regulations), and these people can't stray far because they have to get back to work. Dont know what the solution to that is, other than forcing everyone to quit.

Quote:
Peanut allergies are awful, but most folks do not suffer ill effects from being exposed to peanut oils. In fact, peanuts can be a wonderful, nutritious part of a healthy diet for lots of folks. However, cig smoke is never nutritious, and is harmful to all people whether or not you are like my child for whom it can be deadly.
My point about peanuts was not how dangerous it is or isnt for your child. My point was that as soon as you leave your house, you are no longer in control of what other people do. Its a risk. It sucks, but thats reality. And if smoking in a certain place is NOT illegal (some places it is, some it isnt), then you risk being around smoke. You can choose to ask the person to put it out, they can comply or not. You can choose to move to a different area of the park. But the smoker doesnt *have* to comply just because you want them to. I think they should, and most smokers i've ever been in contact with would be happy to move away from your child, or sit in a way that smoke isnt going right to your child....but if they choose not to, unfortunately, thats an issue you'd have to deal with at the time and decide whether you need to leave or stay and expose your child.

Its not like the OP was in a crowded elevator with a smoker, or in a place she "had" to be, like work. She was in an open air park. Is it "unfair" that her child would have to move to a different piece of equiptment because of a smoker, yeah i guess so. But its not really an issue *I* would choose to get into a confrontation w/ a stranger over.

I guess the thing that bothers me (i'm a nonsmoker btw), is the overall tone conversations about smoking take...like its a moral issue, those horrible smokers who dont care if they are killing those around them. My sister smokes. I hate that she smokes, because i know it is destroying her health, doesnt help her kid's breathing issues any, she spends TONS of money on cigs., and i end up smelling like smoke if i spend even a few minutes in her car or home (she only smokes in the enclosed sunroom, not her main house anymore, now that she has moved to a newer house)....but i *know* that it is an ADDICTION, one that is VERY VERY difficult to kick. She smoked for like 30 years, then had a health scare and was able to quit (was in the hosp. for several days which helped)...she quit for a whole YEAR....then the addiction sucked her back in and she smokes more than ever before. Its sad. But it doesnt make her a bad person.

Katherine
post #68 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by queenjane View Post
I guess the thing that bothers me (i'm a nonsmoker btw), is the overall tone conversations about smoking take...like its a moral issue, those horrible smokers who dont care if they are killing those around them. My sister smokes...Its sad. But it doesnt make her a bad person.
I agree, and I don’t love the smokers in my family any less as a result of their habit. But OTOH, none of the smokers I know would smoke mere feet from a children’s sandbox. I think it’s okay to judge that particular behavior as rude -– the fact that this woman is suffering from an addiction doesn’t absolve her of all responsibility to be considerate of others, IMO. Was what she did illegal? No. But was it rude and thoughtless? Yes, and the smokers I know are still capable of being thoughtful, kind people –- their addiction hasn’t removed their ability to care for others.
post #69 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by queenjane View Post
like its a moral issue
When smokers are smoking in a place where their smoke endangers anyone other than themselves, to me it is a moral issue. What is a moral issue, anyway, if it's not an issue of how our actions affect others?

dm
post #70 of 88
But there's the problem. Many of us agree it's not right, but there's always someone who thinks it isn't our right to tell them not to do it.

See donating MIC toys, wearing too much cologne, alternative medicine, insert your hot button topic here.

I think it's immoral to do anything that might possibly harm someone else, such as smoking on a playground, choking someone else with what I consider toxic scented products, or donating something you think might not be safe for your family, but many don't agree.

We don't get to tell other people how to gauge their own morality, yk? We can think whatever we like, and we can speak out about our point of view, but the bottom line is, people are going to do whatever they please, unfortunately.

All you can do is keep trying.
post #71 of 88
I don't think that cigarette smoke can be equated to exhaust fumes. I think it's much much worse.

When my son was a baby and toddler, he was very allergic to cigarette smoke. If the person behind us in a fast-food drive through was smoking, and a whiff of it got over to our car, he would break out in red rashes on his cheeks-- bright red excema-like splotches-- within minutes. Worse encounters would cause breakouts so bad that his cheeks would peel and get bloody.

He has since grown out of having such a severe reaction, but I still hate cigarette smoke, and I still won't let him anywhere near it if I can help it.

We live in the city and the thing I hate the most is when people smoke on the sidewalk outside our apartment building. We've actually had to "flee" our apartment before because the fumes can be just intolerable. They give me migraines, too. Uggh.

I'm actually kind of in favor of having smoking be made illegal. : Too bad it won't happen. *sigh*
post #72 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigeyes View Post
We don't get to tell other people how to gauge their own morality, yk?
Well, we can call a spade a spade, right?

dm
post #73 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by dharmamama View Post
Well, we can call a spade a spade, right?

dm
you betcha!
post #74 of 88
Y'all are overreacting. You're acting like second hand smoke causes *cancer* or something.
post #75 of 88
Before having kids, I didn't realize how bothersome my smoking was. But, if confronted, I would have moved.
post #76 of 88
Thread Starter 
I dont know if I realized it until I quit smoking. When I was smoking, it had such a hold on me that I couldnt possibly see clearly.

I guess I should have realized that before confronting the woman.

I know what its like to be an addict.
post #77 of 88
IMO, if you go into a public place you have to be prepared for things to happen that often happen in public. I do think that it is awful that someone would smoke not only around a child, but in front of a child, but that is her choice and her right.

There was a thread on the GD board recently about making a comment to someone slapping their child's hand in public. Really I'm not sure that this is so different. Yes I personally think it is terrible, but at the same time there is no law being broken so who am I to do or say anything?

It would be nice if cigarettes and CP were illegal, and maybe someday they will be, but until then, its just something that is going to be a part of society.
post #78 of 88
I have one of those kids that is bothered by smoke, even if it's outside or 'third hand' (on a persons clothes/hair, the one time he had a full blown asthma attack was from this). Having said that it's my duty to protect him from exposure to this. Is it awfully ignorant to smoke at a sandbox? Sure it is, but maybe the lady is compromising and not smoking with her kids in the car.

I was around smokers as a kid and hated being in the car or otherwise inside with them. So even when I grew up to be a smoker I was overly cautious to keep my habit from affecting others. The only acception I've ever made was when some friends of friends brought their baby into a bar. If you're going to bring a baby into the bar what can you expect?!

I am reformed now but am not a zealot - I know how hard it is to quit.

BTW, the last time we were in the park with our little one we moved out the path of someone smoking.
post #79 of 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by funkygranolamama View Post
people smoke at our park all the time. i usually just redirect my kids to an area far away from the person until they are no longer smoking. it's never a big deal for them, because there is ALWAYS something else fun to do at the park. i do think it's disrespectful to smoke around children in any situation. i was one of these kids raised in a car full of smoke with the windows rolled up. it's amazing i'm still living..... with asthma and allergies
I know in California, (not sure if other states are involved or not), that there is a push to make smoking in a car with any child passengers, illegal. FINALLY!!! I've always thought how terrible it was for these innocent little people to be breathing in their parent's smoke while all couped up in a car.
post #80 of 88
so then we all agree that smoking is unhealthy, but people are free to do whatever they want. We agree that its true that its not illegal to smoke at that park, but it was *somewhat* thoughtless of the woman to smoke right there.

Left or right?
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