Some of the keys aren´t working on my keyboard, so forgive me if this is difficult to read...
Originally Posted by queenjane
Have you talked to the staff members? Approached them nicely and explain that the cig smoke is bugging you? They probably have no idea that it reaches your office. I've personally found that smokers are pretty amenable to moving or putting out a cig. if they know i'm bothered, and esp if i ask politely and dont try to make it into a moral issue.
Actually, I haven´t. And there is a reason for that. You might recall what I described of my most recent experience in asking folks with whom I actually have a relationship who smoke to make accomodations. I did so in a totally nice way
, without making it a moral issue whatsoever
, and well, I described what happened. And that was when the health of a little baby was involved...a baby who these people could hear breathing while they were on the phone with dw and dw was in a totally different room from the baby with both doors shut! They heard him struggle to breathe, damnit!! I think that experience has me justifiably freaked out about letting folks who I work with everyday know that the smoke smell is reaching my office.
While you heard this tone in our conversation...
Originally Posted by queenjane
like its a moral issue, those horrible smokers who dont care if they are killing those around them.
I was struck by the following tone, which I felt started well before any so called moralistic attitudes came to the forefront...
|Ya think? She's outside in a public space...while you're at it you might as well ask people driving by the park not to due to the noxious exhaust fumes. Unless there is a "smoke free" sign or bylaw in place there's nothing you can really do...so don't be surprised at her reaction.
That is, the tone of how dare any of us question someone lighting up at the sandbox where children are playing...I mean really, how can we expect to be treated decently after getting in someone´s business like that...We are just asking for it! I mean geesh, why don´t we go ahead and corral our three children, including the nursing babe, and just move the hell away if it bothers us so much. It´s a free damn country and to hell with consideration for others. If it isn´t illegal, even if your kid is severely asthmatic and the smoke does threaten his health, then butt out.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg...
I certainly didn´t have such an attitude about how inconsiderate many smokers can be until I experienced horrendous behavior in response to reasonable non morally based requests. No, it´s not a huge moral issue to me. I don´t sit around worrying about it. But I shouldn´t have to never walk down a public sidewalk in my city because my son happens to have asthma and you know, the burden ought to be on me to keep him away from smoke. That is
a moral issue, an ethical issue, and not just a legal question.
Sorry, but dm´s right when she says
|Nonsmokers have just as much right as smokers to be in public places, and to me, it's a no-brainer that the person who bears the most responsibility in this situation is the one who is doing something that could potentially harm others..
|I think a big reason why there are always crowds of smokers around doors outside is that there is no place to smoke *inside* (due to anti-smoking regulations), and these people can't stray far because they have to get back to work. Dont know what the solution to that is, other than forcing everyone to quit..
Sorry, I beg to differ on this too. Yes, there is no place to smoke inside, and nor should there be, in my opinion. But that isn´t forcing smokers to smoke around doors where there are overhangs. Smokers could take up the burden of their own addictions and smoke 25 feet from doorways, and enjoy a little sun when it is out and suck it up when it is raining or snowing or windy. 25 won´t likely make them late getting back to work. In fact, I know for certain that the particular folks in question in your exchange with me could take longer breaks if they wanted, if they really wanted to get away from the building. It´s not my addiction, and I shouldn´t have to have the headache for the rest of the day as a price for the addiction of the person who won´t walk 25 feet away from the door to take up the burden of their own addiction. It´s not my son´s addiction, and he doesn´t need to suffer so someone can stay dry to feed their addiction. Nope, no way. He is an innocent child with precious lungs that are working very hard to survive this world.
I know, I know. Addiction is rough. That´s why I am not asking anyone to quit. Just to have some consideration and take responsibility.
But I think the real evidence that the lack of places to smoke indoors is not the issue is that even in places where there are designated smoking areas...as in covered shelters for smokers, you still have people trying to hang out by the doors and get away with smoking there
. Even when there is a covered walkway to the smoking area and it is less than fifty feet away...yep, I am talking from experience here at a particular airport where I happen to have to spend a lot of my time. And it doesn´t have to be somebody who has to get back to work. In fact, they can even tell you they are going to be waiting a whole other hour before they have to be anywhere. And believe me, a kind, friendly, non moralistic tone is not going to get these folks to move the fifty damn feet to the designated smoking area, even if you do have your severely asthmatic child with you, along with another child, and both your children have special needs and you are doing your best to keep them with you and keep all six pieces of luggage with you and the two huge toddler car seats and have virtually no mobility and they have one tiny lousy piece of luggage that they are using to sit on instead of the nice benches that cost tax payer dollars to erect so they can have a place to smoke.
So really, what you gave is an excuse for bad behavior. For a lack of respect and care for others. And it is all too common these days. And I simply won´t condone it.
Do I sound harsh and moralistic...yes I do. Yes I do. It´s just been one too many times. I didn´t start out this way.
And in fact, the folks who live near me who are in my life who smoke would be surprised to hear this out of me. Because I don´t go around spouting this stuff you know. But I have very politely asked a smoker to move when I absolutely have had to...obviously not often given what I described at the start of this post...and it seems to me that I get a 50-50 chance of either having hate spewed my way or having a very kind, ammenable, polite response back. And those odds just seem a darn shame. And so here, online, where I am not asking anything of you, I think it is okay for me to speak out against this behavior.
I am not saying anyone is a bad person.
I simply don´t buy that just because something is not illegal, we shouldn´t question it. Lots of things are social not legal contracts made by folks who want to engage in society together, and well, have parks together and stuff like that.