voluntary termination of parental rights - Page 2

[nizhonierie]

also needing help

im a 23 year old mother of 3 my oldest being 2 and my youngest being 3 months me and thier dad broke up about a month ago and he has seen then 2 times sence then for a few hours.... he only wants contact with them when he wants to know who im hanging out with and the guy is crazy! he is constantly cousing problems and harrassing me i want him to sign his rights over becouse he really has no desire to be involved with them and he wont do it ... i dont know what to do to get him to do it but being a single mother with three kids im stressed out enough and dont need him trying to make it worse... does anyone have any advice? i really dont have the money to pay a lawyer to help me get his rights taken away and i dont know what to do ... some one please help!?!?!?!!?

[MickLite7]

Originally Posted by a1r23

I am the father of a 5 year old boy. I have very little say in my son's life. All I am is a paycheck to his mother, who doesn't work and hasn't worked for more than a year. She does not discipline him, nor does she bathe him very well, wash his clothes, or feeds him. I do not know what to do. I know there are millions of deadbeat fathers and I do not want to be one of them. How can I better my situation. I am so desperate for some advice.

I was in a similar situation but I won custody of my son. Now that she is way behind in child support, and the state is going to take away her drivers license, and maybe put her in jail... she offered to give up her rights as a mom in trade for not having to pay any future or back child support. At first I was thinking man that would be great for me to not have to deal with her anymore, but thought I was being selfish... plus should she really just get off that easy? More I think about it, it scares me to leave him with somebody who would just "trade" him off like that.

[organicpapayamama]

Originally Posted by laralou

I also wanted to add that some states won't let the father terminate unless there is a man to adopt. Alabama, for example. My lawyer told me that the only way to get my son's biodad's rights terminated is to have my parents adopt him, then I could adopt him back when I got remarried. I didn't trust my parents enough to do this.

You should get a consultation with a lawyer before you worry about this more.

exactly this for me and Im in CA

[zacharysmom]

Originally Posted by laralou

I also wanted to add that some states won't let the father terminate unless there is a man to adopt.

You should get a consultation with a lawyer before you worry about this more.

this is what i was basically told in Ohio when my 13 was small baby

[Satori]

Originally Posted by organicpapayamama

exactly this for me and Im in CA

Sorry, you were given the wrong info but its very very possible to do a TPR not followed by an adoption, especially in CA. I know because I did it in 2004/5? even after being told by a couple of lawyers it was not possible. If you know the laws and do the research right and have your paperwork right its pretty easy in fact. Having the TPR in hand has saved me a lot of grief over the years. Forget the lawyers, call the person who does the adoptions at the court house and ask them if single parents are granted TPR's not followed by adoptions, they are the ones who will know since it all goes though there dept. Make that person your best friend to guide you though the system. Mine even let me know that the law library had a packet for $3 that walked me though the whole thing and even which statues to look up and how to write the papers for the court. All said I spent I think around $700 including all the various fee's and stuff.

[AlwaysByMySide]

Just wanted to let anyone know, who would attempt to do this in Tennessee, it is actually written in the state law that termination of parental rights can only be done by Child Protective Services and/or a GAL. (If adoption by a new husband were on the table, a GAL would have to be involved to make it happen.)

The best option we've come up with is to do a restraining order until the kids turn 18, but stbx will still unfortunately technically retain parental rights. (It's written in the paperwork that he gets no visitation, but he can petition for visitation when he gets out of prison in a little over two years. I'll have no choice but to cross that bridge when I come to it.) For the record, DD4 doesn't remember him, and DS (almost 2) has never met him, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that all of that will bode well for me if/when he petitions for visitation.

[Satori]

Originally Posted by AlwaysByMySide

Just wanted to let anyone know, who would attempt to do this in Tennessee, it is actually written in the state law that termination of parental rights can only be done by Child Protective Services and/or a GAL. (If adoption by a new husband were on the table, a GAL would have to be involved to make it happen.)

The best option we've come up with is to do a restraining order until the kids turn 18, but stbx will still unfortunately technically retain parental rights. (It's written in the paperwork that he gets no visitation, but he can petition for visitation when he gets out of prison in a little over two years. I'll have no choice but to cross that bridge when I come to it.) For the record, DD4 doesn't remember him, and DS (almost 2) has never met him, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that all of that will bode well for me if/when he petitions for visitation.

no judge in his right mind would allow him near his kids after what he did.

[AlwaysByMySide]

Originally Posted by Satori

no judge in his right mind would allow him near his kids after what he did.

I certainly hope so. The only way I think he'd be able to pull it off is to use the actual thing he was convicted of (involuntary manslaughter), and I don't know if it would be admissable to mention that he lied about it for four months, made a false official statement, and because of all of these things, pretty much put us in the poorhouse because of the legal fees I had to pay out to get DD4 out of foster care. He's really lucky he had a fantastic defense attorney (paid for by our tax dollars.)

The restraining order request went in with the divorce filing, and we still haven't heard back as to whether it needs to be filed separately (which would cost me more money, having him served a whole new set of papers, via the Secretary of State), and/or if it can even be filed until we're closer to his release.

But I digress...my point is, Tennessee has a UAV of a termination of parental rights law. If anyone else's state is similar, the best way two separate attorneys and I have found around it is to file for a restraining order (and hope it's granted), but you need to have grounds to do so.

[cycle]

NJ also does not allow TPR (unless the state does it) without another man to adopt the child. (If it is the father who is terminating) They also require that the new adoptive parent is married to the parent who is retaining rights, unless you are a gay couple in which case they do not require a civil union. There are no loopholes, no way around it. In Michigan however if a NCP has not had contact with their child for two years the custodial parent can petition for termination of parental rights but the NCP is still responsible for child support unless another person adopts the child.

[savsbe]

I know that the laws vary from state to state, i am in Virginia, as for getting him to voluntarily terminate his parental rights, a lawyer is not needed!!! you simply pay to file a petition with the court, the clerk is usually a notary and there is a notary at every courthouse i've ever been to. Some states you need someone there to take the place but BE CAREFUL. you could end up in my shoes.... my sons biodad gave up his rights, we just went into court and said we agreed, my new husband was there saying he wanted to adopt... my court paper simply said, father agrees to terminate his parental rights so stepfather can proceed with adoption, custody given to mother and stepfather.... well as soon as biodads rights were terminated the true intentions of my husband came to fruit. He had no intention of adopting him, he did Not want to be financially responsible if things didn't work out, he just wanted biodad out of my life for good. Now after 5 years of marriage and 1 1/2 years of seperation i would like to file for custody of my two daughters of this marriage and possibly a divorce.... and as a stay at home mom and student, a little child support for my now 7 year old son, would be great, but he has no father that is legally responsible to support him. Lovely

Rachel

[nutritionistmom]

Originally Posted by savsbe 

I know that the laws vary from state to state, i am in Virginia, as for getting him to voluntarily terminate his parental rights, a lawyer is not needed!!! you simply pay to file a petition with the court, the clerk is usually a notary and there is a notary at every courthouse i've ever been to. Some states you need someone there to take the place but BE CAREFUL. you could end up in my shoes.... my sons biodad gave up his rights, we just went into court and said we agreed, my new husband was there saying he wanted to adopt... my court paper simply said, father agrees to terminate his parental rights so stepfather can proceed with adoption, custody given to mother and stepfather.... well as soon as biodads rights were terminated the true intentions of my husband came to fruit. He had no intention of adopting him, he did Not want to be financially responsible if things didn't work out, he just wanted biodad out of my life for good. Now after 5 years of marriage and 1 1/2 years of seperation i would like to file for custody of my two daughters of this marriage and possibly a divorce.... and as a stay at home mom and student, a little child support for my now 7 year old son, would be great, but he has no father that is legally responsible to support him. Lovely

Rachel

Have you consulted a lawyer? My dh is stepfather to my oldest son and under provincial laws here would financially responsibly for him should we separate.

[Cupcake0509]

Hello. I am sorry your ex is a bad mom. If you know these things are happening to your child, then you need to do something. I would think your local social services department would be able to help. They are there to look into these type of things. Ask them to pay a surprise visit to your ex, to check on your child when you can not be there. But the thing of this is, once social services gets involved she might pretend to change her ways. Maybe talk to her friends, or neighbors and tell them your concerns. I know that would mean getting involved in your ex's life, but when it comes to your child nothing else matters. I dunno all your situation, with money or what not. But as I was typing this, maybe getting some sort of proof before you talk to her friends or neighbors. If you have money, i would hire a P.I, to see what she is doing with the money that is suppose to be for food. It sounds like maybe there is something else going on with her, drugs or alcohol.

[meemee]

wow this is an old thread that keeps getting brought to life. WOW!!!

[JennBordelon]

I know my husband is wanting to sign over his rights to a child that he has never seen. The bad part is that he didn't sign the birth cert. By a long time back the mother filed for childsupprt and they didn't serve us they sent the papers to his dad's house. My husband doesn't have a relationship with his father. We do not pay child support but the state had his name put of the birth cert. The mother wants us to sign over. I know we are having a hard time.

[lilyka]

Termenating parental rights does not necessarily mean he will be able to escape child support.

Originally Posted by liaglynnn 

After 5 years, 4 moves, 3 court hearings, and $30,000 my husband and I are seriously considering this option. We are at our wits ends with his ex-wife. The woman will NOT let him talk to or see his two children. We have gone to court 3 times and even filed many times with the local police department. His ex-wife even told his children that their father, (my husband) was dead from a car accident. She harressed us and I had to get a stalking order against her for trying to burn my house down 2 years ago. She is mad that he has me and my children now.

Every 6 months his ex-wife takes him to court for a higher child support check but refuses to let him see his children. He is now paying $1,000 a month and hasn't had any contact with them for 4 years. The last time he did see his child, he saw them at a local Wal-mart b4 she grabbed the girls and ran out the door.

I don't know what else to do. We have been married for 5 years now and have 2 children together. She is getting 50% of his salary. He is paying so much and not even allowed to see them.

Any advice would be appreciated. We can't afford an attorney. The last one was $8,500 and nothing happened. She refuses to let him see the girls! Pls help.

[fuzzycat]

Just as a head's up...10 out of the 35 posts on an inflammatory subject are from first time posters (see other thread on same subject matter in the blended fourm). 

Just saying.

[chaoticzenmom]

I locked this thread because it's a really old thread that accidently got brought back up.  I think it's because there was a mix-up with the thread (same title) that is currently in the blended and step-families forum found here:

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1295415/voluntary-termination-of-parental-rights/140

Thanks for your understanding.

Lisa