do I have any options?

[justmama]

I"m a waitress at Ruby Tuesday. They hired me at 4 months pregnant and have been pretty good to me thus far about accomodating me with easier shifts and a section close to the kitchen towards the end of the pregnancy to make it easier on me. I had my baby at 33 weeks and have been out a month so far. I'm single and my meager savings from the last 5 months runs out with this round of bills on the 15th so I have to go back to make enough to pay bills on the 1st. I've exhausted all my options. Problem is, they aren't giving me a place to pump and my manager already said I'd probably have to go to formula. We are already having nursing issues with latch and such and I'm frustrated and in pain and I'm stressing that if I dont' get to pump my supply will drop like crazy and I will wean her. She NEEDS my milk since she was early and little and she's doing really well on it. Problem is, we don't get breaks. We work our shift and leave. And we really never know how long we'll be there. When it's busy you stay until the wait is gone and when it's dead, you are cut earlier. So it's hard to say what your shift will be like until you are told you are cut. So I could be there 4 hours or 3 hours or 8 hours. It's never easy to predict so I don't know if any of the laws apply to me. Any thoughts?????

[nummies]

I really don't have much advice. But I think that your manager is out of line suggesting to give up and go to formula. That isn't even her place to say that to you. How often would you have to work? Is it a part-time or full-time situation? Would no one be willing to watch your tables for 10 minutes to pump? You could always pump in your car (not the ideal situation) but some pumps come with a car adapter. I am so sorry that I don't have further advice. But I would think that there is always something to be done. Don't give up mama!

[CorasMama]

1st: with regard to the pumping situation, what state are you in? One of the mamas here should have a link for you regarding your laws.

2nd: with regard to breaks. Your employer is violating federal law. If you work 4 hours, you get a 10 minute paid break. Period. If you work 5 hours, you get 1/2 hour unpaid. I'll have to look it up what the 5-8 hr situation is, but if you work 8 hours, you get two 10s and a 1/2 hour. They also cannot tell you what to do during your break.

Do you have a good pump? Does it have a battery pack or car adapter?

Can you find another job?

Can you go on welfare?

Do you receive child support? If not, have you started the process?

Have you asked churches for help to keep you home even a little longer?

[sapphire_chan]

Do any of the other waitstaff take smoking breaks? (If it's anything like the restaurants my friend worked in, they'll be taking them more often than the legally allowed breaks, generally at the same time.)

If so you can go to your boss and say "There are three people on staff who currently take 20 minute breaks every three hours. In order to do my job properly, I need to have 20 minutes every three hours to pump milk so I am not in pain. The example shown by Name, Name, and Name, indicates that this will not be a problem."

[Flower of Bliss]

What a rough situation to be in It sounds like you've had a very difficult time. I hope that you have local friends and/or family supporting you. You are doing an awesome job nursing your baby. You can do it. We all believe in you. You've gotten some good advice here. I just wanted to give you a few .

Have you attended a LLL meeting? That would be a good place to talk to other nursing moms, make friends, and get some help with the latch issues you've had and the pumping issues you'll face soon.

[momtoS]

In this months New Beginnings there is an article about single moms....I haven't read it yet but prehaps you could contact the local leader and read the copy?
I live in Canada and it is certainly illegal to deny someone breaks....you could check into that....

[Pernwebgoddess]

Originally Posted by momtoS

I live in Canada and it is certainly illegal to deny someone breaks....you could check into that....

Unfortunately, breaks are not required by law in many states. I don't know the laws in all of them, but I know that here in Georgia, there is no law-mandated right to a break for any time period. It's considered a good idea, but you can't bring the Department of Labor down on them for denying you one.

As for the refusal to let you pump, that will depend on the state you're in. Some DO have laws mandating that you get time/room to pump, but most restaurants will probably relegate you to a bathroom, since there's rarely anything that could be used for such a purpose.

What you CAN do is appeal to your manager's sense of business... explain that you don't want to switch to formula, because breastfed babies are sick less often, and for shorter periods, than formula fed ones... meaning you'll have to call in sick to work less often.

Frame the request as wanting to help the company, and they'll be more likely to help. You can also consider calling corporate headquarters to see if there is a company policy that may apply in this case.

[Squirrel]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

Do any of the other waitstaff take smoking breaks? (If it's anything like the restaurants my friend worked in, they'll be taking them more often than the legally allowed breaks, generally at the same time.)

If so you can go to your boss and say "There are three people on staff who currently take 20 minute breaks every three hours. In order to do my job properly, I need to have 20 minutes every three hours to pump milk so I am not in pain. The example shown by Name, Name, and Name, indicates that this will not be a problem."

yeah, that... but in writing, and noting that you're retaining a copy of the note for your records.

Here's a listing of what the laws are by state: http://www.dol.gov/esa/programs/whd/state/rest.htm

[ecstaticmama24]

I would try to find another job. Working at a place that is family friendly can make all the difference in the world. Otherwise I'd invest in a good pump and use up my breaks pumping in the bathroom. Not ideal, but may be neccesary.

When I went back to school, my boy had to go to a daycare, so I got a really good pump and just pumped once a day (well, once in between 8 and 5). I worked up my supply so that I could pump enough in that one sitting to feed him for the whole day. That said, he didn't drink that much, so it was really like one full bottle.

Good luck, it must be so stressfull.

Andrea

[julie128]

It might help if you get a letter from your pediatriacian stating that your baby cannot tolerate formula and needs your milk.

Can you find another waitressing job that WILL allow pumping/nursing breaks?

[justmama]

Originally Posted by CorasMama

1st: with regard to the pumping situation, what state are you in? One of the mamas here should have a link for you regarding your laws.

2nd: with regard to breaks. Your employer is violating federal law. If you work 4 hours, you get a 10 minute paid break. Period. If you work 5 hours, you get 1/2 hour unpaid. I'll have to look it up what the 5-8 hr situation is, but if you work 8 hours, you get two 10s and a 1/2 hour. They also cannot tell you what to do during your break.

Do you have a good pump? Does it have a battery pack or car adapter?

Can you find another job?

Can you go on welfare?

Do you receive child support? If not, have you started the process?

Have you asked churches for help to keep you home even a little longer?

Well I included my employer to show that it is a very large chain restaurant so it should have some sort of a standard for this but apparently not. I"m not saying they are a BAD employer, just deficient in this area. I'm in RI . As an employee of a large chain, would I be looking for RI laws or federal laws since the restaurant is in many states??? As for a pump, my hospital loaned me an excellent hospital grade pump for 3 months as my daughter was premature. I have a medela symphony but it doesn't have a battery pack or car adapter. I'm not sure if it comes with either but the LC who rents them out said that if I need anything else or if there's any problems to call her and she'll help me out to the best of her ability. Medicaid is compeltely covering it for me because otherwise I wouldn't be able to pay for it. I'm already on food stamps and wic but I dont' qualify for cash aid. I do get child support right now but it's not enough to cover all my bills so I do need to go to work since my savings from pregnancy is just about gone. I have 2 weeks left until i need to start again. I suppose I could find a new job but there's not many places where a high school grad with no degree and no job experience other than one retail job, a waitressing job, and a former nanny/daycare provider can find a good job making what she needs to support 3 kids plus herself. I really dont' want to put my kids into daycare until I absolutely have to because my 3 year old is a former preemie and my 33 weeker is just a month old tomrorow. It's rsv season and she is recieving synagis but I'm panicked about dumping her in daycare at 6 weeks old when she's still a week away from her actual due date. I had hoped to stay at this job while they go to their dad's house for a few more months until the baby is a little bigger and her immune system is a little stronger.

[guestmama9904]

oh mama, my heart goes out to you. are you close with any of the other servers there? could you ask them to cover your tables once every 3-4 hours for approximately 15 minutes while you pump? maybe you could tip them out a modest amount, like 3$ a day towords helping you with your tables?
have you considered enrolling in college? this is what i did as a former single and very young mom, i was 19 when i got pregnant with ds who is now 6. college is a great option for so many reasons, the obvious reason being it can potentially make you very employable once you have a degree, even a two year degree or certificate will statistically increase your earning potential. but the other great things about college life and mother hood are not so well publiscized. so i will try to share what i think are the great things about single mom hood and college, especially when you have a breastfeeding infant.
1. more flexible hours then work, generally speaking breaks between classes and usually classes are not 8 hours a day, for me, full time it was like 3 hours three days a week. of course studying is needed but you can study at home with your kids, perhaps not ideal but i did it and so have lots of other moms.
2. often there is on campus student housing for families, single moms included, that you may even qualify for financial aid for.
3. student financial aid, including loans for living on if neccessary.
4. on campus day care is sometimes available.
5. you may qualify for childcare assistance from the government if you are a student pursuing an "emplyable" career feild, ie. RN or bussiness degree, probably not a degree in fine arts.

6. you will still be eligible for wic and fs as a full time student and probly even cash welfare.

7. social support network is more built in at a lot of schools than a work network has to offer. there are on campus therpists, job coaches, teachers and other student moms to talk to and gain insight from on how to survive single motherhood.

8. you will probably feel better about yourself if you are taking your power back as a woman and getting an education, at least for me this helped my self esteem so much.

9. many private universitys actually have great financial aid packages for single moms.

10. some universitys even have pumping/breastfeeding rooms. i went to a private catholic college and they have this.

11. some professors may allow small in arms infants in classes.

[RolliePollie]

All these wonderful MDC ladies have given such great advice. I hope you're able to make everything work out for the best.

[~Boudicca~]

Mama,

These are your state's breastfeeding laws:

http://www.health.ri.gov/family/breastfeeding/laws.php

Mothers breastfeeding in public are protected from disorderly conduct laws. R.I. Gen. Laws § 11-45-1 (1998)mother and baby

Employers should provide a breastfeeding mother with flexible breaks and a safe, clean, private place to pump or breastfeed her child. R.I. Gen. Laws § 23-13.2-1 (2003)

It does not matter whether or not it is a chain restaurant or not. They still have to abide by state laws. Being a chain does not make them exempt from the state law.

Have you contacted the local LLL?

http://www.llleus.org/state/RhodeIsland.html

I think you should work with someone in the local LLL so you have support from people that specifically know how to work with these situations. I work in a restaurant too, and I hear you when you say it is hard to find the time to pump. At my restaurant, I negotiated so I work 3 night shifts a week (which like you said, the hours will vary) and I just wait until the rush is over and have someone watch my tables for 15-20 minutes so I can go pump. Also, given the fact that you could A) be at risk for engorgement issues and mastitis if you don't pump and B) are nursing a preemie that can seriously benefit from your milk maybe you can look into getting a doctor's note from your OB as well as her pediatrician to get your boss to let up a little bit. Another thing: IME, a good majority of my coworkers were smokers, and no one ever had a problem with them walking off the floor for X amount of time to smoke, and if this is also the case with your place, I would point that out to management. If they can give time to smokers to ditch their tables so they can smoke, then they sure as hell can give you a slice of time to pump. Here are your state's laws regarding break time:

http://www.dlt.ri.gov/ls/faqs.htm#Wh...0and%20breaks?

A twenty-minute meal period must be given during a six-hour shift, and a thirty-minute meal period must be given during an eight-hour shift. This does not include healthcare facilities or companies employing less than three employees at one site during a shift.


I know that RI has temporary disability benefits, have you looked into that? I used to live in RI and I am now residing in CT, and have had many friends in the business take advantage of TDI while on maternity leave. I had both my babies in CT and I used to wish I worked in RI so I could go on TDI because unpaid maternity leave sucks! I know you only get a percentage of what you make while on TDI, but something is better than nothing (this is one of those times where I hope you were claiming a good chunk of your tips ). Here is the link for that:

http://www.dlt.ri.gov/tdi/


I think your boss is a complete UAV for even suggesting that you go on formula. Who the hell do they think they are? And I would also present him/her with a printout of the RI breastfeeding laws. If there is an issue, you should absolutely contact your corporate human resources person to help sort this out.

Mama, PM if you need some support. I feel you on this, it really is hard to work this out when you are waiting tables.

[meganmarie]

I absolutely second the idea to contact corporate human resources, and email the person you speak with a copy of the RI state pumping laws and break laws to refer to during your discussion. Ask them what reasonable accommodations should be made by your local manager, and whether they can help you negotiate those arrangements.

You are an amazing woman to be manging three babies on your own including a preemie, and to be so committed to nursing and pumping. I admire your strength and dedication, and wish you all the best in making this work. I believe you can do it.

And remember, when you confront this with your workplace you PAVE THE WAY for the next working mom to come along. Your co-workers can see and learn from your example, and the manager can learn to deal differently with future moms returning from leave. The only reason I believed I could work and pump and exclusively breastfeed is that I saw other moms doing it at my workplace before I was even pg. So, just by making this happen you are lactivism in action!

[justmama]

thank you everyone for all the help. I will print out a copy of the breastfeeding laws and bring it to work with me along with my pump and demand that i be given the time to pump while there. I do have a close friend who usually works the same nights and I KNOW she would watch my tables for me while I pumped. I just didn't want to get her into trouble for it if the managers would freak out. I plan on applying for pell grants and looking for scholarships over the summer to start college in the fall semester and probably waitress one or two nigths a week to supplement my income. My ex deploys in May so that really complicates my working situation being that he's my childcare but right now all I can deal with is the next few months until then. Regarding TDI, you need to be at your job for 6 months minimum in a job that you actually pay into TDI. I do pay in at my job but I have only been there 5 months as of the time I went on maternity leave because my daughter came so early. AND I only paid in like $40 so you can only get as much as you've paid in and $40 probably would only cover my electric bill for a month. So unfortunately that's not an option for me. I dont' even qualify.

But thank you SO much everyone who gave advice and put in their 2cents. I'm going to print that list of laws and bring that to my manager this week before I start back again to see what they say. Now that I know I'm protected by law I'm a little less apprehensive abotu pushing the issue. Worst thing that happens is I quit and go to a different restaurant. Even while pregnant i was the highest performing waitress they had. I doubt they want to lose me now.

[APmomto3boys]

Ihope it works out! I worked in resaurants for 6 years so I totally understand the no break thing! even a 12 hour shift... no food break!

Tip well ladies!

I think you should also be able to use the managers office to pump in! maybe they could give you a different position for awhile .. one that you can step away from to pump. Like hostessing or expoing?

[Mama Poot]

I think someone else mentioned this already, but is there a way you can quit work and go on disability? A *good* and *well informed* doctor could easily say that your premature baby NEEDS to be breastfed and does not have a strong enough immune system to handle being in daycare, and you need to be able to stay home with the child. I would seriously look into it. Your baby's health is totally first and foremost here. Good luck with talking to your manager, I hope she's somewhat reasonable with you.

[guestmama9904]

Originally Posted by Mama Poot

I think someone else mentioned this already, but is there a way you can quit work and go on disability? A *good* and *well informed* doctor could easily say that your premature baby NEEDS to be breastfed and does not have a strong enough immune system to handle being in daycare, and you need to be able to stay home with the child. I would seriously look into it. Your baby's health is totally first and foremost here. Good luck with talking to your manager, I hope she's somewhat reasonable with you.

ita. a premature baby has a lot stacked against her health wise and development wise, it seems so sad to me that your workplace doesnt understand this. but i know a mamas gotta have an income so i understand why you need to work of course.

[~Boudicca~]

So, what's the word Justmama? Have you talked to your management team yet?