i need doc advice

[+stella+]

Hi, I am sure I am depressed with some social anxiety. I moved to phx 5 years ago and in that time never made any friends other than people I was forced to like people at work, those people would ask me to do things and Id turn them down mostly, when I didnt turn them down I would dread the day of event until it came, stress out, go and end up having a decent time and thing "why do I do that all the time, why do I feel so stressed out and then its not so bad?'

I stress about stuff a lot, insignificant stuff, how long my husbands bowl of oatmeal sits on the counter before it will be too hard to scrub the dried up stuff off, and it like bugs me till I go do it. That kinda stressing about my house, my house isnt dirty but I have to have things a certain way. Now, dont get me wrong, I dont think I am ocd I think I just have control issues. I get comfort out of having things under control.

Doesnt sound like depression but it is kind of. Because I am utterly apathetic about almost everything else. I dont eat and its very hard for me to sleep. I had my thyroid checked and its fine. I am almomst 90lbs at 5'2'' so its not like Im just skin and bones but still underweight. I just hate being bothered with cooking and eating for myself. yet i stress about meals for my son, he eats very well actually because I am so anal about it.

So we just moved and I was telling myself, in this new atmosphere I WILL go out and meet people, I WILL be involved with things for the enrichment on my son, I WILL be driven to go out and do fun things. And well, its just not happening. Thinking of going and doing those things is very daunting and my husband is next to fed up. Hes angry and not very good support right now.

So here is the real question, where do I start? We have insurance but I dont know or care if it covers mental health. I have to do something and I will pay out of pocket if necessary. It just happens that I know I need to do this, but the thought of calling around and figuring out what road to take seems more overwhelming than my abilities right now as well.

Where do I start?
My family also has a history of depression, anxiety and mental disorder. I am 29 and I think Ive tried to skate along and do the best I can to maintain the look of normal for so long but I think my life really is lacking because I am untreated and at a loss for ways to improve. I dont think I can just do it on my own, Ive tried. I failed.

thanks in advance

[mom0810]

Start with a therapist. If they feel you need meds, they will help you to get them, either by sending you to a psych. or getting you in with a doc.

[perl]

Oh you remind me so much of myself! I lived like that for years until I finally decided to give myself the gift of therapy (2 years ago now).

I was so lucky to find a local psychiatrist that specialized in anxiety disorders, and his approach to therapy was so helpful to me. I went weekly for about 8-10 weeks and then we kind of ran out of stuff to talk about! I mean, it helped indescribably. I still have some flare ups, but I'm nowhere near the socially phobic, doubting, and generally freaked out person that I had been for so long.

The easiest way to start is by calling the number on the back of your ins card. If they have a separate mental health division it will be listed. Usually you can speak with someone a bit about what's going on and they ("care manager" or something like that - usually a social worker) will help direct you to the right discipline (psychiatrist/psychologist/LMSW/etc).

Once you find out who is in network insurance-wise, then you can start calling around, finding out when available appointments are and what the therapist's approach is like. (My doc used mostly cognitive-behavioral and acceptance-commitment therapies, which were excellent). Usually you can get an initial appt to see if you mesh with the therapist and feel comfortable with him/her. I did a lot of website checking, too, as many therapists have their own nowadays with all of the pertinent info on it (plus it's easier than making a scary phone call, right!?!).

You are at the cusp of something great - go for it. You will be so grateful that you did!