Episiotomy Pain 14 months Later.

[TattooedMommy]

I really hope someone here can give me some insight. On Nov. 20, 2006 I went to the hospital in labor with my third child, a daughter. It was a planned hospital birth. I knew that week that my regular OB was on vacation and I had met the OB that would be attending my birth if I went into labor. I was comfortable with her.

My daughter decided to come out sunny side up, and the attending doctor had to cut a huge episiotomy almost to my rectum. After the birth she sewed me up.

With my previous two births I had never had an episiotomy. I tore with my daughter and was sewed up and just had a little "road rash" with my son.

At my 6 week post pardum appt. with my regular doc I told him about the birth and told him I was still in considerable pain. He said that it was normal and it may take a few months to start feeling better.

So here I am 14 months later and I am not in regular pain, but I cannot have sex with my husband. It honestly feels "too tight" for him and it hurts like the dickens. And even if I wipe a little too hard down there it hurts.

Is it possible that she sewed me up "too tight" and can anything be done? You have no idea what this has done to my marriage. We have come very close to divorce, not because he isn't understanding, but because of the lack of intimacy. I just want to know if this problem is a common one and if it is at all fixable.

[onlyboys]

Yes, it is possible that she sewed you up too tight. But honestly, an episiotomy does not feel like a tear when healing. It's easier only for the doc than a tear--no one else.

You may try some perineal massage to loosen things up down there, but for me, it took another birth for things to feel right. I really feel for you, mama. I've been there.

[Rockies5]

what does your midwife/GYN whomever you go to for woman care say?

[TattooedMommy]

To be honest, haven't been back to the doctor since my 6 week post pardum. I'm scared. This was a truly traumatic birth for me. I don't intend to have anymore children. I was seriously considering never going to an OB again.

[nummies]

Originally Posted by TattooedMommy

To be honest, haven't been back to the doctor since my 6 week post pardum. I'm scared. This was a truly traumatic birth for me. I don't intend to have anymore children. I was seriously considering never going to an OB again.

I am so sorry mama. Perhaps you could see a CNM for a consult? She may be able to guide you on what to do next. I know that my CNM does well-woman care as well.

[Rockies5]

I can understand that, and you don't have to see a professional. But one that does deal with alot of episiotomies and repairs might have the most experience and be able to guide you.

You should not still be in pain. and I'm so sorry its affecting your sex life. Trauma (with our without a "bad" repair) will do that to us.

[heartandhandsdoula]

You might need some really good massage to break up the scar tissue. On my doula board people talk about physical therapists who specialize in this kind of thing. You might try googling it or post in your tribe. So sorry mama, I hope you can get feeling better soon.

[runes]

Originally Posted by heartandhandsdoula

You might need some really good massage to break up the scar tissue. On my doula board people talk about physical therapists who specialize in this kind of thing. You might try googling it or post in your tribe. So sorry mama, I hope you can get feeling better soon.

yes.

i am a pt, and also had to go to pt myself after our dd's traumatic birth (including episiotomy). the therapy helped SO much. they did some gentle massage to the area to help break up the scar tissue and adhesions, and also helped me to do kegels the 'right' way (and believe me, there is a right way and wrong way!). i went from being in a lot of pain during sex and even during just sitting on a hard surface, to being almost pain free.

pm me for more info. i'm so sorry you're dealing with this, but there are things you can do to help.

[midwifemom3]

I would definetely go in and see a midwife, as she will be gentle, It needs to be looked at, and make sure there is no granulation tissue that came through the stitches when it was healing because that is painful. This is something that can be fixed, and if it is to the point that your marriage is being affected please go have it looked at. You should not still be hurting.

[wumanh]

I am so sorry you are in pain. Get references for a gentle caregiver in your area to look at your yoni.
Herbal massage oils that can help:
St. John's Wort for healing and soothing nerve damage
Calendula
Chickweed for lessening scar tissue.
Here is a sensuous yoni (vaginal) massage you can try with the herbal oils. You may want to do it yourself rather than have your husband do it, whatever you feel comfortable with. You can give extra focus on the areas that are painful.
You could also do nice warm sitz baths with herbs.

This is my handout for clients- if you copy it please do it with my name attached. Thanks for respecting my work.

PRENATAL/POSTPARTUM YONI MASSAGE
Helena Wu, LM, CPM & Herbalist

The goal of this yoni massage is to give pleasure and comfort to the woman and allow her to feel this part of her body intensely. The partner will experience the satisfaction of helping her to enjoy this most sacred part of her body, contributing to its health and healing.

Before beginning the massage it is important to create a space where the woman can truly be relaxed. Turn off the phone, make sure the baby has been nursed well, have the room warm. Soft lighting and music can contribute to the atmosphere. Pillows supporting her head, one under her hips (covered with a towel) and under each knee, so her bent legs can flop open, help her relax her muscles. Minimize conversation while you are massaging in order to allow her to focus on the experience.

The giver of the massage should wash his/her hands and have short nails. Use an oil with ingredients that are safe for sensitive tissues. Olive, coconut or almond oil is nice. It can be infused with healing herbs such as calendula.

Begin by breathing slowly and deeply. Both receiver and giver can do this. The giver can remind the woman to breathe deeply if s/he notices her holding her breath or breathing shallowly. Begin by gently massaging her legs, thighs or belly, etc. to relax her and prepare for you touching her yoni. Pour a generous amount of oil on the mound of the yoni so that it drips down the outer lips. Massage the mound, taking your time. Move down to the lips of the vulva, sliding gently and slowly up and down each lip. Gently massage the inner lips. Alternate making small circles or longer strokes on the perineum. (Do not touch the anus as you will transfer bacteria to the yoni.) Slide your finger into the outer portion of the yoni gently massaging the bottom portion in a U. Slowly slide your finger further into the yoni. Gently stroke all around the inner surface. If there are tender areas, lighten your touch or avoid them if that is what the woman prefers. Be sensitive to the woman’s cues.

During the massage strong feelings may emerge, she may begin crying. Just let this be and both of you keep breathing. If the woman does not want to continue, respect her wishes. A loving, gentle partner with a caring touch can be so helpful to healing trauma to the yoni.

Yoni massage may arouse her and lead to orgasm although that is not the focus. This is fine, just keep breathing. You may continue with the massage or stop, as she wishes.

To end the massage, slowly and gently withdraw your finger. You may want to cup your hand and place it over the whole yoni for a few moments. Respectfully withdraw your hands and allow her enjoy the afterglow of the massage. Cuddling and holding her is a wonderful way to end the massage.