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Help me convice DH that buying DS a toy kitchen is not "gay" - Page 8

post #141 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama View Post
I think if you don't call a spade a spade, or a homophobic comment, well... homophobic... people just dance merrily along thinking they have the right to speak in those ways, that it is an acceptable viewpoint meritous of real debate. Which it's not. It's homophobic.
You are trying to make commentary about someone telling you their husband's issues and looking for help with it----by using the phrase calling a spade a spade.

I think this thread just hit the Irony point.
post #142 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama View Post
I think it's abusive too. And I would go so far as to say that I wish people who cannot handle the possibility that their child might be non-heterosexual, would not have children. I don't think that's such a horrible thing to say, especially when you consider how tortured queer people have been over having parents who cannot accept or even actively despise them.
Is seems like a very controlling thing too say: If you don't accept my lifestyle,i deem you unworthy to have kids.
post #143 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by RadUnschooler View Post
Is seems like a very controlling thing too say: If you don't accept my lifestyle,i deem you unworthy to have kids.
Homosexuality is not a lifestyle.
post #144 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by Einley View Post
Homosexuality is not a lifestyle.
um... :

-Angela
post #145 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by RadUnschooler View Post
Is seems like a very controlling thing too say: If you don't accept my lifestyle,i deem you unworthy to have kids.
Yeah, it's not a lifestyle. And, I do deem people unworthy if they don't accept queer folks. So far I'm not queen of the world so carry on.
post #146 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama View Post
So far I'm not queen of the world so carry on.
Somebody is SO cruisin' for a DDDDC....

-Angela
post #147 of 160
Ha! That would be hilarious.
post #148 of 160
Only had time to read pages 1, 4 and 8 so far (will be back after I go check on MIL - long story....)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jug View Post
he used gay as its a girls toy, not that it will make DS gay.
Anyway, im getting the kitchen to DS from my grandpa(who is a wood toy maker).
Welcome to MDC! I'm sorry you seem to have gotten into a hot topic here. I once started a thread trying to figure out more about homeschooling - not that I wanted to, but I wanted to better understand and accept that choice in my friends' lives. Some people were super helpful, but some were so mad that my kids' school didn't fit the terrible picture they painted. It got pretty heated. Now I can laugh, but then it got me a little torked.

Anyway, I think it is cool that you are getting a wooden kitchen made by your grampa! My dad was also a wooden toy maker in his spare time (even taught classes for kids at the Seattle Science Center back in the 70s) and made me a toy kitchen, which my kids use to this day. I repainted it 'cause it was harvest gold and orange. Most played with toy in our house - by boys and girls of all ages.

But I have to agree with a lot of others that your dh using gay as a negative term (regardless of whether he thought it had anything to do with ds's sexuality) is really bad. I think it is the same as using retarded to mean bad. Both are very, very offensive.

Quote:
Originally Posted by captain optimism View Post
This is slightly off topic, but if you are using the word "gay" to mean "weak, not that great, not cool, yucky"--that's pejorative. When kids these days say "gay" to mean "bad" they are saying that being gay is bad!

I know this is the sort of thing that people find picky and PC or whatever, but we really have to try not to let ourselves be sloppy. About 10% of our children, going by averages, will probably be gay--no matter how macho their toys are--so we have to think about what will be good for them all as a group, and using "gay" to mean "icky" is not going to be good.
Exactly. And I'm not that PC! I think a lot of it is just a little much. But using gay as a negative term isn't ok.
post #149 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by RadUnschooler View Post
Is seems like a very controlling thing too say: If you don't accept my lifestyle,i deem you unworthy to have kids.
I think it's a sine qua non of parenting is unconditional love. You can have opinions on your children's life choices, but if there is anything, anything at all, that your child can be or do or think or say or choose that would cause you to not love and accept your child... no, I don't think you should become a parent. Kids need unconditional love. If you can't or won't give them that, why have them?
post #150 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
I think it's a sine qua non of parenting is unconditional love. You can have opinions on your children's life choices, but if there is anything, anything at all, that your child can be or do or think or say or choose that would cause you to not love and accept your child... no, I don't think you should become a parent. Kids need unconditional love. If you can't or won't give them that, why have them?
I do agree with that. I am not saying that's my opinion towards being homosexual at all. I am saying that you can't change people and to say they shouldn't be parents for their opinions isn't right. To say that sounds like you want to "control" them.
sorry,i didn't mean to say "lifestyle" for lack of a better word.
post #151 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by RadUnschooler View Post
Is seems like a very controlling thing too say: If you don't accept my lifestyle,i deem you unworthy to have kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RadUnschooler View Post
I do agree with that. I am not saying that's my opinion towards being homosexual at all. I am saying that you can't change people and to say they shouldn't be parents for their opinions isn't right. To say that sounds like you want to "control" them.
sorry,i didn't mean to say "lifestyle" for lack of a better word.
Okay.... then is it okay for someone to have children who will hate them if they're a girl? What about someone who will ridicule them if they need glasses? Or how about if they will see them as lesser if they don't have blue eyes and blond hair?

-Angela
post #152 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by RadUnschooler View Post
I do agree with that. I am not saying that's my opinion towards being homosexual at all. I am saying that you can't change people and to say they shouldn't be parents for their opinions isn't right. To say that sounds like you want to "control" them.
sorry,i didn't mean to say "lifestyle" for lack of a better word.
I don't think it's about their opinions at all. We're all entitled to opinions and beliefs and preferences and hopes and dreams for our children. The difference is, if your child is different from what you might have hoped for, or if your child makes different choices from the ones you might have wanted him/her to make, would that cause you not to accept your child? Opinions are one thing, making parental love conditional upon certain things is quite different.
post #153 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
I don't think it's about their opinions at all. We're all entitled to opinions and beliefs and preferences and hopes and dreams for our children. The difference is, if your child is different from what you might have hoped for, or if your child makes different choices from the ones you might have wanted him/her to make, would that cause you not to accept your child? Opinions are one thing, making parental love conditional upon certain things is quite different.
I just answered that. I really wasn't talking about me, my opinions at all . Please don't attack me, I accept everyone (except criminals). I know parents who might not have the greatest views and acceptance of stuff but they are still good parents and i wouldn't tell them they shouldn't have had kids because of it....that's all.
I don't agree with the people who have closed-minds at all...please, don't think of me like that.
I know i'm new here and you all don't know me that good.
post #154 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by RadUnschooler View Post
I just answered that. I really wasn't talking about me, my opinions at all . Please don't attack me, I accept everyone (except criminals). I know parents who might not have the greatest views and acceptance of stuff but they are still good parents and i wouldn't tell them they shouldn't have had kids because of it....that's all.
I don't agree with the people who have closed-minds at all...please, don't think of me like that.
I know i'm new here and you all don't know that good.
I'm not attacking you. I know that you aren't advocating non-acceptance of one's children. I don't think non-acceptance of one's children is an "opinion," though. I think it's emotional abuse. And, yes, I think people who abuse children, be it physically, emotionally, or any other way, should refrain from becoming parents.
post #155 of 160
I do see your point.
My parents should never have had me (because of the emotional abuse) but then i wouldn't be a mommy doing it different,unconditional love,respect,trust,etc.. for my son.
ouch.
post #156 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by RadUnschooler View Post
I do see your point.
My parents should never have had me (because of the emotional abuse) but then i wouldn't be a mommy doing it different,unconditional love,respect,trust,etc.. for my son.
ouch.
I don't think she shouldn't have had you. But, would you think that it's a good idea for her to have another baby, now, knowing that she would likely abuse that baby as well? That's what I think we're talking about.
post #157 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama
I think if you don't call a spade a spade, or a homophobic comment, well... homophobic... people just dance merrily along thinking they have the right to speak in those ways, that it is an acceptable viewpoint meritous of real debate. Which it's not. It's homophobic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Demeter9 View Post
You are trying to make commentary about someone telling you their husband's issues and looking for help with it----by using the phrase calling a spade a spade.

I think this thread just hit the Irony point.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_call_a_spade_a_spade

Quote:
Its ultimate source is Plutarch's Apophthegmata Laconica (178BC)...The phrase predates the use of the word "spade" as an ethnic slur, which was not recorded in usage until 1928.
post #158 of 160
Oh.my.goodness.
It's finally come to me.... All this time I thought I was born gay, but now I realize --- it was my Lesbomaker play kitchen!!!!! They should have never let me play with that!! What was my mother thinking??
post #159 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
I have nothing kind to say to a man who:

#1. Has such rigid gender stereotypes.

#2. Thinks that a TOY will make an individual homosexual or not.

and

#3. Is so homophobic as to be afraid of a toy making an individual homosexual.



-Angela
Yup, I'm agreeing with Alegna here.

And I guess the OP's husband is hoping his son moves right out from his mommy's house into his wife's house then? So that the women can cook for him his whole life?!?

http://www.willowtoys.com/ has some fantastic kitchens, MUCH better than any of the plastic ones out there.

A cute story:
BTW, my husband does the majority of cooking in our house. And when my son was 2, he had a toy kitchen and one day some twins we know came over and the little girl went to go play with his kitchen and he said, "no! Don't play with that, that's a BOY TOY!!" I laughed so hard...hahahaha.... I had to explain to him that yes, even though Daddy cooks supper all the time, both boys and girls can learn to cook. For some reason, DS forgot completely that I would usually make him breakfast, snacks and lunch...to him supper was the only meal that mattered, I guess.
post #160 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by fiorio View Post
:

I can't imagine stifling my DS's imagination and interests, especially based on outdated gender stereotypes. And my DH wouldn't either.


eta: That's so wacky...I didn't mean to laugh at fiorios' above post, I was laughing at the joke way above,
something like, "How will your son learn to cook the venison he shoots with his toy rifle?" LOL!!!!
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