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Help me convice DH that buying DS a toy kitchen is not "gay" - Page 4

post #61 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by fek&fuzz View Post
I think the real question, frog, is whether or not you were given a toy kitchen when you were a child.


You know, I don't remember having a kitchen, but that's typical for my upbringing. I did, however, have scores of Barbie dolls. I loaded them into the Tonka trucks and drove them around in the sandbox while they were wearing their frilliest dresses.

I still have all the Barbies and their clothes. My brother got the Tonka trucks. :
post #62 of 160

I don't know if I can argue with someone who could think such a thing

Lots of people cook. Some don't but many do.

It has nothing to do with gender or sexual preference.
post #63 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by frog View Post
If that's what he meant, he's still a tool and is more than old enough to know better.

LMAO!! Now, now. Be nice.

I agree. Grown men shouldn't use phrases like "oh Rad!" Or "That's so Gay". Adults shouldn't be able to text message faster than a 16 year old either.

It's just wrong.

BTW. what does heteronormative mean. I looked it up and Google just gave me other options. "Did you mean...?"

Nevermind. I must have been mispelling it.

Quote:
Heteronormativity is a term that is used to describe situations wherein variations from heterosexual orientation are marginalized, ignored or persecuted by social practices, beliefs or policies
post #64 of 160
I want to say a big ole ditto to PPs who said that men who can cook are sexy. My dh does 90% of the cooking in our household. One major reason why I love him.

Also, cooking gives lots of opportunities to teach about:

* biology
* nutrition
* chemistry
* physics
* history, geography, and culture

A kitchen is basically a big science lab, with all edible experiments.
post #65 of 160
Don't straight men eat?
post #66 of 160
A. everyone alive should know how to make rice, toast and macaroni and cheese
B. can you married to a man who thinks this way?
C. gay is marvelous darling!
post #67 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by wannabe View Post
Don't straight men eat?
Only if the little woman cooks it.

(yes, I know millions of men cook)
post #68 of 160
Thread Starter 
Hey, i just asked for opinions and help, not some of you jumping on the poor guy No i mean it you dont have to call him a tool and stuf, and i find this rude:

Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloKitty View Post

i feel bad for your son
Sorry i know i came here for help but just that i think its mean and insulting, seriously:
My Dh cooks and does "female stuff" around the house, i was actually bothered by the comment of the idea of getting DS a toy kitchen was gay, and yeah he used gay as its a girls toy, not that it will make DS gay.
Anyway, im getting the kitchen to DS from my grandpa(who is a wood toy maker).
Thankyou
post #69 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jug View Post
Hey, i just asked for opinions and help, not some of you jumping on the poor guy No i mean it you dont have to call him a tool and stuf, and i find this rude:



Sorry i know i came here for help but just that i think its mean and insulting, seriously:

I just read through most of this thread and I agree with you, some of the posters are out of line here. You just asked for advice and many took it as an opportunity to jump on your DH which was, IMO, completely unnecessary. The views he is expressing are FAR more common than we like to think and saying that someone should refrain from having kids for it is rude and also not to the point. His abilities as a care provider are in no way affected by his views as I see it.

A good day to you, Mama! And good luck with the new kitchen!
post #70 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post
LMAO!! Now, now. Be nice.
That was as nice as I could be about this. Honestly, it irks me to no end. See, it makes me have to use this smiley:

:
post #71 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady In Red View Post
His abilities as a care provider are in no way affected by his views as I see it.

Well they certainly are affected imo when you limit your child's toys and expression, are homophobia, and enforce rigid gender roles.
post #72 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jug View Post
Sorry i know i came here for help but just that i think its mean and insulting, seriously:
I think it's mean to impose strict gender roles onto a child. I didn't insult your husband, I sad I feel bad for your son, and I do. I feel bad for a boy that is going to grow up with such rigid stereotypes being expressed by his father. What if your son is gay? Or transsexual? Doesn't seem like your husband is going to be able to handle that very well.

I don't see how "used gay as its a girls toy" makes it any better.

ETA I'm also confused about what this "female stuff" is that he does around the house. What is female stuff?
post #73 of 160
Alton Brown! *swoon*
post #74 of 160
You know, this is one of my biggest ever pet peeves. I recall YEARS ago when I took care of 2 little boys and the 2 year old carried around this old purse of his mom's and put rocks in it and his dinosaurs and stuff, and his dad had a FIT that he had a purse. The child didn't even think of it as a "purse" and it was beyond ridiculous!

And just last weekend I heard that someone I know's husband was upset that their 7 year old son was helping his mom string beads. COME ON!!!! WTF is wrong w/ people?!?!?!?

This attitude of a boy playing w/ "girl toys" is so prevelant in our society and it just : me and me to no end!!!

MY own DS has a *gasp* PINK Big Wheel!! It was a hand me down (the family almost didn't give it to me and I convinced them we could care less about the color - it is a cool bike) and DS doesn't give 2 hoots.

It makes me sad, though, that he is getting to the age when he will pick up on stupid comments about his pink bike and possibly be called gay because of it. Right now he is so oblivious to that type of thing, but the larger world out there will take that away from him.

Honestly, it upsets me greatly.
post #75 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post
I
Anyway.. I can see if he meant "gay" the way kids mean it these days. Teenagers say "That's so Gay" and they don't mean it the same way we might.
BUT, even if he meant "Gay" as in "Lame"
This is slightly off topic, but if you are using the word "gay" to mean "weak, not that great, not cool, yucky"--that's pejorative. When kids these days (or even kids back in my day, this isn't a new usage, though we used to say "queer" without even knowing what it meant) say "gay" to mean "bad" they are saying that being gay is bad!

(Indeed, I'm a little leery now of using "lame" to mean bad, since it seems like saying that a person who uses crutches or a wheelchair is weak, uncool, or whatever--but that is a much older usage if you check the OED and it's going to be even more difficult to uproot.)

I know this is the sort of thing that people find picky and PC or whatever, but we really have to try not to let ourselves be sloppy. About 10% of our children, going by averages, will probably be gay--no matter how macho their toys are--so we have to think about what will be good for them all as a group, and using "gay" to mean "icky" is not going to be good.
post #76 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady In Red View Post
His abilities as a care provider are in no way affected by his views as I see it.
Were you, or anyone close to you, a non-straight person raised by a homophobe? I have a pretty good idea exactly what kind of damage can be done, thank you.

And I don't think that people who were born to homophobes shouldn't have been born. I would have missed out on many friends and loves that way. But maybe, in the future, people who are so full of hate should find something else to do with their lives than raise children.
post #77 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by captain optimism View Post
This is slightly off topic, but if you are using the word "gay" to mean "weak, not that great, not cool, yucky"--that's pejorative. When kids these days (or even kids back in my day, this isn't a new usage, though we used to say "queer" without even knowing what it meant) say "gay" to mean "bad" they are saying that being gay is bad!

(Indeed, I'm a little leery now of using "lame" to mean bad, since it seems like saying that a person who uses crutches or a wheelchair is weak, uncool, or whatever--but that is a much older usage if you check the OED and it's going to be even more difficult to uproot.)

I know this is the sort of thing that people find picky and PC or whatever, but we really have to try not to let ourselves be sloppy. About 10% of our children, going by averages, will probably be gay--no matter how macho their toys are--so we have to think about what will be good for them all as a group, and using "gay" to mean "icky" is not going to be good.

Agreed!! Using these terms because everyone else does just adds fuel to the fire. Its these types of so called common everyday things that project hate even when we arent aware of it.
post #78 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloKitty View Post
ETA I'm also confused about what this "female stuff" is that he does around the house. What is female stuff?
Menstruation?
post #79 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by TortelliniMama View Post
Menstruation?
:
post #80 of 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by TortelliniMama View Post
Menstruation?
That's EXACTLY what I was thinking!

If he's going around using tampons or a breast pump or something then I take back everything I posted previously.
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