Scariest day of my life(graphic) - Page 2

[Mrs. Cheerful Face]

I offer you hugs too! I delivered my stillborn twins at home. My experience is one of many things that is spurring me on to become a professional midwife. Everyone has offered wonderful advice and suggestions, I would only add, to watch carefully for Post Tramatic Stress Syndrom in yourself. I was at another birth that came too close to a hem. and I came home thinking to myself "That's that, I'm done doing this now!" Having wonderful people to process your births with is crucial to being a whole, complete labour attendant. Mind, body and spirit. In whatever capacity you are with women in labor you will grow in wisdom and courage one birth at a time.
Ps. I am glad someone took photos of our twins. I've never seen them, but I'm glad they are available, someday.... What was distressing was hearing our midwife tell a mutual friend she had never attended a stillbirth before, after the birth of our boys. Maybe she finds comfort in not recognizing them, everyone deals with trauma differently,but ouch!

[RockStarMom]

Originally Posted by arimama

Ugh I just talked to the dad to set up a PP visit and he expressed to me that they just want to move on and just not think about what happened. They actually deleated the birth pics and are upset that I took them. I stopped taking them when things went downhill, obviously, but they didnt want any reminders of the birth at all.

How am I supposed to help them process if they dont want to? Heck how can I help them if I cant process it myself?

On top of it all I feel so terrible about taking pictures. They had told me that they didnt want birth pics, just pictures after the baby was born. But in the pushing stage the midwife told me to take pictures. I said they didnt want any birth pics, and she said "whatever, they can delete them if they want".
I should have just listened to my clients wishes.
This whole thing is such a crap storm.

It's much too soon for them to be processing the birth, and with you being a part of the birth(and you yourself having trouble processing it), you aren't in an optimal position to be the one to help them process it. I would apologize for the pictures and refer them to someone who could help them discuss the birth whenever they are ready.

I'm so sorry you had to go through such an ordeal. I cannot imagine how frightening that was.