"So, when are you going to have him circumcised?"

[rik8144]

Why do people think this is a valid question??? I have had a few people ask me this. "Oh, you didn't have him circumcised? When are you going to? Oh?! Why?"

[runes]

i cannot imagine WHY someone would ask such a question. how horrid.

what did you say?

[moondiapers]

Originally Posted by rik8144

Why do people think this is a valid question??? I have had a few people ask me this. "Oh, you didn't have him circumcised? When are you going to? Oh?! Why?"

answer: If he asks for cosmetic surgery we'll discuss it then...but so far he hasn't seemed interested.

[KBecks]

Try to see it as glass half full and you can be proud to tell them you're not. Just shut them down if they give you any crap, but why not educate them about bodily soverignty.

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by rik8144

Why do people think this is a valid question??? I have had a few people ask me this. "Oh, you didn't have him circumcised? When are you going to? Oh?! Why?"

I don't know but it is an educational opportunity. But since this has come up I have a question for you and others about this situation. How do people react when you respond with something like: "Why would we ever want to do that?" or "There is no medical reason to do that; why would you?"

Does it become an educational opportunity, or a sparing match? How do people react when you pop the ignorance?

[rik8144]

I say: no WE didn't have him circumcised, no I don't plan on doing it, if he chooses to have it done we will talk about it but not until he turns 18. Why...well, there is no reason to hurt a baby so young just to make his penis look a certain way.

Usually this will be followed with a "Oh, well we did" then complete silence.

[layla983]

My MIL asked this in the first 5 minutes she saw DS when he was born. She thought they did it right after birth in the room like that did when she had DH 25 years ago, so she was suprised when she asked about it & we said we didn't do it. What made matters worse? She brought what she called "the circ care kit." She sat out in the waiting room with a package of gauze & vaseline, & proudly presented these things to me as a gift. This was AFTER we already told her we wouldn't be doing it. She figured after we "got a look at it," we'd want it done, so since she knew we didn't have any of the "circ care kit" at home she brought it to us then.

Great, huh?

[rik8144]

The circ care kit!!?!?!?!? Yea, that's a great new baby gift!! I like the "intact care kit" - love, care, and protection!

[phdmama06]

Originally Posted by layla983

My MIL asked this in the first 5 minutes she saw DS when he was born. She thought they did it right after birth in the room like that did when she had DH 25 years ago, so she was suprised when she asked about it & we said we didn't do it. What made matters worse? She brought what she called "the circ care kit." She sat out in the waiting room with a package of gauze & vaseline, & proudly presented these things to me as a gift. This was AFTER we already told her we wouldn't be doing it. She figured after we "got a look at it," we'd want it done, so since she knew we didn't have any of the "circ care kit" at home she brought it to us then.

WOW, I thought my MIL was forward about circ, but it seems like yours has mine beat!

To the original poster, if people would ask me that (which they haven't really) I'd use it as an educational opportunity for them. No, I'm not having it done, did you know that it isn't really necessary and that there aren't any worthwhile medical benefits from doing it?

[A&A]

"When hell freezes over."

[kldliam]

The circ care kit!!?!?!?!? Yea, that's a great new baby gift!!

I like the "intact care kit" - love, care, and protection!

: me too!!

[cherri0196]

Originally Posted by rik8144

Why do people think this is a valid question??? I have had a few people ask me this. "Oh, you didn't have him circumcised? When are you going to? Oh?! Why?"

Oh my, i HATE when people ask this question, its so dumb.

Example 1. my boyfriends BIL's wife was changing his diaper, and goes "oh were not circumcised" i said "nope" she say" is he going to be?" i said " If he want's the when he's older and decide's to then yes, but otherwise, nope"

Exaple # 2. an "aquatance" had a baby boy and i tried with her and she did it anyway, and then after she gets back from the hospital she ask's "how long did it take for my DS pee pee to heal" i said, " my DS isn't circumcised (which i told her this already) i couldn't put him through that unneccary pain" she say's " oh are you going to get him done", ah..."No".

What the H*ll?? why do people just #1 assume everyone is circ'ed, and #2 what makes them think after 15 month's im just going to magically change my mind and get him circ'ed, thats just dumb.

ok well looks like this turned into my own mini-rant, LOL. but i do agree that is a retarded thing to ask someone.

[Fyrestorm]

I tend to be militant...My response would be:

"what makes you think I have any desire to mutilate my perfect son?"

[perspective]

Originally Posted by cherri0196

Oh my, i HATE when people ask this question, its so dumb.

Example 1. my boyfriends BIL's wife was changing his diaper, and goes "oh were not circumcised" i said "nope" she say" is he going to be?" i said " If he want's the when he's older and decide's to then yes, but otherwise, nope"

Exaple # 2. an "aquatance" had a baby boy and i tried with her and she did it anyway, and then after she gets back from the hospital she ask's "how long did it take for my DS pee pee to heal" i said, " my DS isn't circumcised (which i told her this already) i couldn't put him through that unneccary pain" she say's " oh are you going to get him done", ah..."No".

What the H*ll?? why do people just #1 assume everyone is circ'ed, and #2 what makes them think after 15 month's im just going to magically change my mind and get him circ'ed, thats just dumb.

ok well looks like this turned into my own mini-rant, LOL. but i do agree that is a retarded thing to ask someone.

I think some people really believe a boy NEEDS to be circumcised. So after you tell that mom all you have to say, she hears from somewhere else that all boys need it done, and then she comes back to you with the assumption that since boys NEED it, there is no way you could have not had it done on your son.

Really I believe these think that most of the worlds men are circumcised. This issue really shows how stupid we can all be, and why staying educated is so very important, instead of just assuming you got all the facts straight.

[snowcrocus]

i second responding by being appalled. with few exceptions, there is a very limited extent to which you can actually educate anyone who asks that question. most of the time, it isn't the right time in that person's life, or the acquaintance is too slight, or the information too overwhelming. but if you're not trying too hard to disseminate facts, you can have a big impact on a subconscious level.

think about it this way: someone who asks "when" comes from a context where you just don't fail to circumcise. if you make a snappy response, or if you try to defend not-circumcising, you're basically buying into the cultural context, even if you then proceed to argue against it. that's "non-circumcision", not "intactness". that's fine, but what if, on the other hand, your jaw drops, your eyes widen, and you say "when am i going to do what?!" in this case, you flatly deny the cultural context of circumcising. you don't win any debates this way: what you do is to show that person that not everybody does it, or considers it normal.

that's social engineering. when a great part of the reason for circumcision is social inertia, a powerful way of interrupting the process is by social (rather than rational) backflow.

[vickjul]

We don't even know whether Baby is a boy or a girl yet, but the circumcision issue came up in a conversation with my Mom last night.

Her: "But if it's a boy, you would eventually have him circumsized, right?"
Me: "No."
Her: "Why not?"
Me: "Why would we?"
Her: "Well, it's just common procedure. I mean, I've never heard of anybody not having it done."
Me: {lengthy rant about genital mutilation} followed by "Who am I to choose to make lifelong changes to the design of my child's body? If he reaches adulthood and decides that he wants to be circumsized, that's his prerogative. There's no reason the operation can't be performed on an informed consenting adult. But I want it to be HIS choice."
Her: (after a moment of silence) "Good point."

[Microsoap]

a possible scenario:

....
Me: When are you going to circumcise your daughters?
(person): I'm/We're not.
Me: Same with my son (s).
(person): Well it's done here.
Me: Just because it's done here does NOT make it right. BOTH genders DESERVE genital integrity.

and if you're a little gutsy:

Me: And if you can't see that, then you need to do some basic education and not be one of the sheep/brainwashed.

Does this make you seem like you're bragging because you're educated? Well, you are! These people who ask an such ignorant, insane question aren't. I think it will give them pause for thought.

[phatchristy]

DH told me once a work colleague asked him if our son was circumcised. He told me he gave her the most horrified look and said "God no!"

I personally respond to that sort of question with a "my gosh, that is horrific I would never let someone cut off the most sensitive parts of his penis."

I'm generally always shocked.

[RMM1117]

That is soooo annoying! Do any of you guys ever feel that some people just wont get it tho.?? Not to sound snooty or mean, but I swear, sometimes I feel like there are just some people out there who will just never grasp it no matter how many times you tell them/what info you give them.

[Revamp]

Originally Posted by RMM1117

That is soooo annoying! Do any of you guys ever feel that some people just wont get it tho.?? Not to sound snooty or mean, but I swear, sometimes I feel like there are just some people out there who will just never grasp it no matter how many times you tell them/what info you give them.

This is a consequence of culture. Culture is information received from those around you. In America this information includes the imperative that a boy must be circumcised. This can and should be amended.

See: How We Can Proceed.