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Mom's without Mom's part 5 - Page 7

post #121 of 298
Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasSuz View Post
Any ideas how to make her last months better? I feel like I should do something special. Instead we just sit and watch HGTV together and don't talk about the future. It is sad. She does not want to talk about what is happening. ..
My mom died quite suddenly and young, if I had been able to have time with her I would loved to hear some stories about her parents and childhood, and her younger life ... I really would have liked that.
post #122 of 298
I agree. I wish I would have paid closer attention to my mom's family stories. Her mom has advanced Alzheimer's and my dad is a terrible historian so a lot of those stories are now lost.
post #123 of 298
That is the hardest thing I think...losing the history. I wish I had asked more questions and learned more about my family before she died. My mom's sister is evil and has moved and we can't find her now. She stole my brother's and my inheritance that she promised my mom on her death bed that she would give us. I don't REALLY care about the money, but it is a lot. My grandfather was a multi-millionaire. He didn't think Mom would die before she received her portion of the inheritance. But she is greedy. And there is no one left on that side of the family, so now I can't get any info. It makes me so sad. There are so many questions I have for my aunt about my mom as a little girl. THAT is what she stole from me. And the sad thing is, she doesn't even realize it.
post #124 of 298
Hello, sadly i belong to this tribe.

I haven't read all the posts yet, i'm working on it...

My mum died of Breast Cancer in April of 1998, i was 14.
It had a big impact in my life, as i was very close to her in every possible way, her prescence maked me feel good you know. We could just sit close by and do nothing but just by the fact that she was there maked me feel good.
I'm the youngest of 4 and the surprise of the family, it was a busy time for us as my dad was in the peak of his career, my mum who had just retyuned to the working field, opted to quit to raise me, just as she did with my siblings.

I grew up to be dangerously close to my mum as a toddler she couldn't escaped out of my sight becuase, oh the Drama!.
When i started kindergarten she was always helping the teachers around, becuase i insisted, i wanted to have her there with me.

It was that way all my life, she was my best friend, my everything. She was the greatest, i didn't need to say a word to her to show her my feelings.
In my teens, my friends just loved her, she was just fun.
When she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 1995, we had to spend some time in Arizona as she was going to recieve her treatment there, i had to be homeschooled as there was no way in heck i was leaving her side during those times.

She went into remission the following year, we just travelled around ice places in the US, finally she relapsed in October, she passed 6 months later, i was by her side when she died, it had to be the hardest thing to me. I felt her prescence in a very strong way during the first year, it was so strong that i could even smelled her, it was relaxing but also hurtful. And it was not only hurtful for me, but for my dad and my siblings, who felt her prescence the same.
I still feel her around me, not as strong but enough for me to call her name at times.
I think of her everyday, and of course i will never forget her.

My babies never "met her", but in dreams you wanna bet they do. I named DD1 in her honour, and you know the name fit DD and my mum

"Forever Linda"
post #125 of 298
Thread Starter 
Today is the one year anniversary of my mom's death. I am not sure how I feel sad but much more. I miss her so much. Ironically enough my baby girl is the spitting image of my mom.
post #126 of 298
I hope you survive the day alright. Our one year anniversary is next month and I'm dreading it. Hugs to everyone!
post #127 of 298
It seems unimaginable that I am here posting to this tribe now. I read through the posts last night. I really needed to connect to others. My mom died yesterday afternoon. It was pretty sudden, but not entirely surprising. She talked before about dying young, but she thought she had a while. She lived hard. Lots of drinking, staying up late, not taking her blood pressure medicine, ate bad, didn't exercise, and apparently, she also did coke (although I don't know how much or how often). The combination of these things killed her at age 45. The coke set off seizures and heart attacks. I so hoped and prayed that she would get a wakeup call and turn back around.

I have had a hundred different emotions cycling through. I'm mad that she did this to herself, I'm sad that I have to raise my kids without her, I'm hurt.... Sometimes I'm even peaceful. I hope that she has peace. I hope that she knew we were with her and knows that we love her.

This is all so surreal and weird. I feel for all of you. I've read some of your stories and posts and it's been a big comfort for me.

I also posted a longer story in the grief forum.
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=926874
post #128 of 298
Today is 1 year

i'm hating it and not doing ery well.... i was even worse last night, thinking about the hour in which i signed the forms to terminate life support (she was on a vent)..
can it please be september now?
post #129 of 298
Thread Starter 
Wendy I am so sorry for your loss.

KJoslyn78 hugs.

This morning I had a mini break down.
post #130 of 298
((((((Heidi))))))))

i was thinking about you Saturday - i just couldnt get on here...

((((((((((((Wendy))))))))))))))

i very much so understand your pain. My mother died from a comination of everything (well, not coke, she was a hard drunk, and did pot, other drugs - i have no idea - on top of health related problems). Somedays i'm soooooooooo angry that now my children will not know her (or my father, he is also dead - so they dont get to know either of my parents - and i get mad at her for knowing that with my dad dead, they only had her, etc...) and other days i feel almost peaceful knowing that the "drama" that came with her life is no longer a part of mine/my children's lives (my oldest dd had more then once helped my moms drunk BF walk - without my knowledge).

Anyways... i am sorry you are here too
post #131 of 298
I'm new here. Today is my moms birthday. She would have been 63 today. She died 9 years ago. It was sudden, I found her in her bathroom. There was no autopsy (sp?), so I really don't know what happened. She was a smoker and her doctor said her heart just stopped. I miss her so much. I fussed at her the night before she died. I handled her money for her and she couldn't find one of her bills and wanted me to call to get the mailing address and I fussed at her and told her to do it herself.

My baby just woke up so I've got to get her back to sleep, but I will read through these posts so I can get to know everyone.
post #132 of 298
Thread Starter 
Sorry JL's mom about your loss. I do not think the pain will ever go away no matter how much time pass.
post #133 of 298
Hugs to all of you. I'm so grateful to be connected to people that really understand my pain. Sometime people think my grieving should be passed. It will never pass.

I'm 14 weeks pregnant now and really starting to get sad at the thought of having a baby without my mom. I started bleeding two weeks ago and it was a very stressful time. I'm still spotting on and off but so far the baby seems to be OK. It really sucks not having my mom here for me.

I'm praying for all of you.
post #134 of 298
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by papschmitty View Post
Hugs to all of you. I'm so grateful to be connected to people that really understand my pain. Sometime people think my grieving should be passed. It will never pass.

I'm 14 weeks pregnant now and really starting to get sad at the thought of having a baby without my mom. I started bleeding two weeks ago and it was a very stressful time. I'm still spotting on and off but so far the baby seems to be OK. It really sucks not having my mom here for me.

I'm praying for all of you.
I am so sorry. Is everything okay now? My mom had the stroke a month after I announced I was pregnant with Maggie. She lost her speech and was paralyzed on her right side. So even though I was with my mom all the time I really was mourning the loss of her. If that makes sense. We did not get to do all the fun baby things that we had done in the pass with my other kids. Although I brought everything to the hospital and talked and talked to her about it and she understood.
Now a year later...my heart still breaks. It looks like my daughter has juvenile arthritis as well as my son. I have tons of friends and family but no mom to share this news with. My son gets remicade infusions and yesterday at the hospital the nurse went to give him his medication and I yelled Stop...they had twice the amount they should have. Of course I wanted to call my
mom.
post #135 of 298
I have much to say, but can't right now. I am on vacation and should not be thinking about such things at the moment. Hugs to all! I'll check in next week.

post #136 of 298
WEll, my mom died yesterday in my home (she has been living with us this year). So I guess I am now an official member of this club - I hate it! It hurts so much right now and everything I see in this house reminds me of her. Why did she have to be such a great mom that living without her seems so bad and impossible? Having my kids helps and hurts at the same time if you know what I mean. UG! I am numb.
post #137 of 298
TexasSuz...
I am sorry. I know your pain and numbness. We all do.
post #138 of 298


I'm sorry, TexasSuz. We all know what you're going through.
post #139 of 298
Thread Starter 
I am sorry TexasSuz...I think we all know the pain you are going through. I would not wish it on anyone. I hope you have happy memories of your mom.
post #140 of 298
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