Did you have the birth experience you wanted/planned on? - Page 2

[Surfacing]

Originally Posted by To-Fu

I also voted "no, but close enough." I am thrilled overall with my birth experience. The only thing I'd change is not having this huge tear, but that's no one's fault.

It affected our breastfeeding relationship a bit (couldn't sit up to see what I was doing to get a good latch in those first days... which caused cracks and scabs, whee!), which is the main concern.

I also happened to put a mirror down there today and had a look. There's a peculiar lip of skin sticking out... it's almost as though I have an additional labia attached to my perineum. I hope it goes away, b/c it's awfully sensitive and unsightly.

Otherwise, my birth was awesome and I wouldn't change a thing.

To-Fu I had this with my first, including the funny flap. Mine is a bit lower, closer to my rectum, and it's almost like I have a permanent hemmoroid or something, but it's just this funny flap due to the way I was sewn back together. : Dang OB! No one tells you this stuff, eh? That your yoni can end up looking so different.

Since we're on TMI, this time I had a second degree tear and the sewing was good......but I had a good look with a mirror again and I swear half of my labia minora is missing on the left side. I feel like things have been sewn down so snug on one side that my labia are TOTALLY imbalanced. Not pretty. Oh well!!! It's not like I'm posing for any beauty contests or anything!

Originally Posted by bobandjess99

No - it went drastically different, and I feel unsettled by it

At this point, I am just done. I am no longer a natural birth advocate. ALthough I still understand all the reasons why hospital birth is not usually a good choice, and all the risks of medications, interventions, etc, I also no longer understand why in the heck anyone would want to go through that without serious pain meds. I had hoped and hoped and hoped to have a "healing birth" this time, to finally have that wonderful empowering experience that I didn't get with dd, and justr really expected that ths time, it would be quicker and easier...second births usually are, right? But no...I got more pain..more horrible, indescribable agony.
That's it.
I'm done. I gave it the college try. I had 2 UC's. I did everything RIGHT, damn it, so why were my births hell?
4.5 years ago I came into parenting a happy, excited woman, full of gleeful anticipation of her wonderful birthing experiences...Two natural births later, I'm DONE.

I'll take the drugs, thank you, lots and lots of drugs. (Not that I'm ever doing this again...)

Darlin', you have to know what is right for you and if this is what is in your gut, then listen to it! I hear you. You think if you do "everything right" (whatever that means) and believe in it then it should work out for you, right? Well reality gives us a smack. It doesn't always. Hugs and healing to you.