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if i give formula for feed before sleep? - Page 2

post #21 of 77
No one has said that I dont think natalie. If he is still hungry after nursing he could be going through a growth spurt.

When you give him food do you offer to nurse first or offer food first? If you are giving him food first then your supply could be dropping a bit. Every nursing session missed=less milk your body thinks it needs to make. So if he is stilly truly hungry and not just wanting to suck then I would advice cutting out solids for a while and only bfed so that your supply goes back up.

At a year they can still do very well without any solid food at all and only live on bm.
post #22 of 77
Thread Starter 
im not all clued up on formula as i havent given him any before.. thus i haven't smelled it.. nor do i know whats in it thats why i posted here.
i know breast is best thats why i dont want to stop.. i love the bonding.. i love the health benefits... i love everything about it.
but i looked at formula as a substitute for solids... after reading this thread i know that it is not... but got judged wrong because of that.

lol im fine with the night wakings.. once or twice i can deal with.. but 5 times recently? its like his sleep just gets worse and worse... since we co-sleep i roll over and feed him but the position we are in i cant just sleep like that(and i dnt want to sleep while feeding because i dont wanna smother him by mistake!) so i stay awake while he feeds.. and sometimes he just sucks for comfort...) i need to function as well and i have been dealing with a terrible sleeper for 12 months Plus most of my pregnancy i couldnt sleep a wink... body weight was just too much so im dealing with like a year and a half of sleep deprived nights.
I also thought that since hes taking in less solids his sleep got worse and that could be due to more hunger... thats all..
for those that did reply with nonjudgmental and helpful answers... i thank you
post #23 of 77
I'm totally not intent on judgin' ya, hon. I know someone probably told you that if you give your son formula he'll "sleep better" cause it makes him "fuller".
They lied to you. Maybe not intentionally, but it is a lie nonetheless.

Have you tried pumping and having your partner give him the bottle? Does he even drink out of bottles?
It's really not a big problem to not eat solids when they're 12 months old. A lot of people might tell you that, but a lot of the same people will try and convince you that 6 months of BF is "enough". We both know that's not true.
post #24 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie143 View Post
lol im fine with the night wakings.. once or twice i can deal with.. but 5 times recently? its like his sleep just gets worse and worse... since we co-sleep i roll over and feed him but the position we are in i cant just sleep like that(and i dnt want to sleep while feeding because i dont wanna smother him by mistake!) so i stay awake while he feeds.. and sometimes he just sucks for comfort...) i need to function as well and i have been dealing with a terrible sleeper for 12 months Plus most of my pregnancy i couldnt sleep a wink... body weight was just too much so im dealing with like a year and a half of sleep deprived nights.
I also thought that since hes taking in less solids his sleep got worse and that could be due to more hunger... thats all..
for those that did reply with nonjudgmental and helpful answers... i thank you
This is what I would work on. At 12 months old, you're not going to smother him

Find a way to get comfortable enough to sleep while he nurses. Try propping yourself up with pillows- that often helps.

I found when I could sleep through the nursings I was much less resentful of them.

-Angela
post #25 of 77
It sounds like he is definatly going through a growth spurt. The good sleeping and now he is waking more to nurse. Once your supply catches up things should settle down for you.

Like Angela said at a year old if you get him in a spot were his breathing is compromised he will move, I know because I have woke a many of a time to one of mine snuffling and moving around so they could breath, they were not totally smothered but they we pretty tight agains my boob

Again I know what it is like to be sleep deprived. My dd woke every hour or less till she was 2yo to nurse. I wasnt sure I would even have more kids after that but I did and it went better thank goodness

If you can at all try to nap during the day or go to bed earlier and let your dp take care of him for a little while even a good solid hour of sleep can make all the difference.

post #26 of 77
Thread Starter 
i read in a book that breastmilk makes up most of their nutrition up until one year.. so i assumed after a year solids would be doing that?

i dont think that he lacks breastmilk in the day because i am a full time mom.. i breastfeed on demand.. basically he breastfeeds on no schedule... sometimes 30 minutes after a feed.. sometimes 10 minutes later.. sometimes 2-3 hours.. thats why i dont think my milk supply isn't enough to sustain him in the day... i just think that my milk isn't 'filling' enough which is why he needs to constantly drink so often even into the night.

im also confused cuz at one of my playgroups one of the moms said she cut back on breastfeeding(her child used to be very clingy.. he has gotten more independant so i asked her why and thats the answer she gave).. so i said oh ok so what are you giving instead? formula?cows milk? so she said no... im giving him food and he feeds around 3 times a day...
my son is the opposite.. he feeds all throughout the day and night and hardly eats anything... theres a few other moms like that as well...
but i know that they may not follow the AP beliefs that i have that MDC follows.. which is why i came here
post #27 of 77
Thread Starter 
and one other thing which has really been working on me inside...
alot of my friends have babies the same age as my son.. and ALL of their babies are sleeping through the night.. if not then only waking up once.. i do SO much for my son he is everything to me.. i spend loads of time with him but i feel somewhat like a failure in the way of being a good mother. i mean a good mother has it all together? she knows how to help her baby sleep through the night(without crying)... has her baby on a flexible schedule so he knows what to expect each day... he knows his bed time etc etc... i feel like im not doing a good job at the MOST important job in the whole world... raising my child

these other kids are happy and exploring the world and they sleep through...
post #28 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital View Post
If you have no idea what's in formula, why would you give it to your son?
:
post #29 of 77
Thread Starter 
also.. now that i am thinking about it clearly.. maybe he isnt very hungry at night.. i think that he doesnt know HOW to sleep without breastfeeding so everytime he wakes up.. the only way he knows how to go back to sleep is to breastfeed.. i dont know how to change this.. any suggestions? ive tried pantley's PPO(pulling out before fully asleep) but he gets really worked up and mad... SOMETIMES it works sometimes it doesnt. how do i help him fall asleep on his own with me next to him.. patting him... i think if he could fall asleep without breastfeeding he wouldnt wake up much....
also, i dont think i'll be giving formula. i had no idea that formula itself smelled badly or tasted yukky.. but that has me wondering... i plan to wean at 2 year(religious reasons)... what would i give him then??
post #30 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie143 View Post
and one other thing which has really been working on me inside...
alot of my friends have babies the same age as my son.. and ALL of their babies are sleeping through the night.. if not then only waking up once.. i do SO much for my son he is everything to me.. i spend loads of time with him but i feel somewhat like a failure in the way of being a good mother. i mean a good mother has it all together? she knows how to help her baby sleep through the night(without crying)... has her baby on a flexible schedule so he knows what to expect each day... he knows his bed time etc etc... i feel like im not doing a good job at the MOST important job in the whole world... raising my child

these other kids are happy and exploring the world and they sleep through...

Some babies wake up a lot. I am nearly 28 years old and I still wake up a lot. My husband sleeps through the night. It is sometimes personality. My friend has a high-needs baby. He is 11 months old and frequently wakes. It is really frustrating for her, but her son is just amazing.

It's not a competition. It's not really about "knowing how to make the baby sleep through the night." Some babies just DONT and it's NOT your fault.

The one suggestion I've seen work for others is chiropractic. Sometimes, babies' spines are out of alignment and this causes them pain and makes them wake frequently. It's a shot in the dark, but it has helped some of my friends' babies sleep through the night (which is defined as 5 hours in a row btw)
post #31 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie143 View Post
i plan to wean at 2 year(religious reasons)... what would i give him then??
Cuddles and comfort? Some of my friends who have weaned did so by allowing baby to fall asleep next to daddy for a while. This helped somehow.

I'm curious as to which religion mandates 2-year weaning? If it's a very old religion, that does not make much sense to me, as babies, say, 2,000 years ago wouldn't have had much choice at night -- breastmilk or nothing.
post #32 of 77
Thread Starter 
i guess in the environment im in i feel that a good mom is someone who can help her baby through life and teach her/him good habits like sleeping through(sleep is good for them) and i feel like everyone else has been able to and im the only one that doesnt seem to know how? it makes me feel like im doing something wrong..
lol it would be a lot easier if everyones babies woke up a lot... then it would be the norm!!
post #33 of 77
Thread Starter 
no i dont mean for night time.. i mean what would i give in the day to replace breastmilk?
i personally feel two years is right for us to wean... the religion islam i think says 2 years. i dont think it would be appropriate to discuss this further.. the choice of weaning at that time isn't a consideration it is what is best for me and my family

i am happy to have so far made it this far in my breastfeeding journey and am loving every moment of it (ok... so i dont love the waking up but i do love the night cuddling)
post #34 of 77
Thread Starter 
oh and you know how sometimes on the internet its really hard to understand what people are saying and their tone so i hope i havent come across harshly at all!!
milktrance, thank you so much for your opinions and help i really do appreciate you taking the time out to give me such detailed answers in ways to actually help me, not judge my question
post #35 of 77
Is he cutting teeth or learning to walk? Those are common reasons for a one-year-old to wake more at night.

Also, it may seem that your friends' babies are sleeping through the night, but if they CIO and sleep in different rooms, the baby is probably waking but the parent never sees them and goes to them. Even adults wake up a few times a night! So you certainly haven't done anything wrong to make him wake during the night.
post #36 of 77
Formula fills them up longer because it's more difficult to digest. It gets soooooooo much easier in such a short time. Really.
post #37 of 77
Thread Starter 
he has taken steps for the past few weeks but chooses not to walk.. he's scared of falling and so he's being very slow about it and prefers to crawl. he cut a tooth a few days ago .. its halfway out... halfway still for it to come out full.
his night waking of 3-4 times has been since birth.. for last two weeks its 5-6 times.. and last two nights like 8 lol

i guess what i really came here for was someone to tell me its normal and been there done that and that it eventually does get better without me(the mom) having to make any type of drastic changes
post #38 of 77
i'm sorry that people haven't been that supportive of your situation. it's hard sometimes for people to step outside their own situations. my dd had formula from 5 weeks to 7 months due to some medical issues that i had. she slept through the night from about 3 months to 6 months but then starting night waking again. during that time i would nurse her at bedtime and then my dh would give her a bottle. i don't think the formula helped her sleep longer stretches. i think that what youa re suggesting won't necessarily decrease your supply but i also don't think that it will necessarily work to help him sleep longer stretches either. i wish i could give you more concrete advice but each situation is different.
post #39 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie143 View Post
and one other thing which has really been working on me inside...
alot of my friends have babies the same age as my son.. and ALL of their babies are sleeping through the night.. if not then only waking up once.. i do SO much for my son he is everything to me.. i spend loads of time with him but i feel somewhat like a failure in the way of being a good mother. i mean a good mother has it all together? she knows how to help her baby sleep through the night(without crying)... has her baby on a flexible schedule so he knows what to expect each day... he knows his bed time etc etc... i feel like im not doing a good job at the MOST important job in the whole world... raising my child

these other kids are happy and exploring the world and they sleep through...
I'm gonna bet some of your friends are lying about STTN.

A good mother responds to her child's needs -- a one-year old doesn't need a day planner with everything scheduled in.

I don't believe all the hype about STTN. See this link from kellymom on sleep studies.

Brief highlight: % of 12 mo olds waking at night: 55%.
post #40 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie143 View Post
he has taken steps for the past few weeks but chooses not to walk.. he's scared of falling and so he's being very slow about it and prefers to crawl. he cut a tooth a few days ago .. its halfway out... halfway still for it to come out full.
his night waking of 3-4 times has been since birth.. for last two weeks its 5-6 times.. and last two nights like 8 lol

i guess what i really came here for was someone to tell me its normal and been there done that and that it eventually does get better without me(the mom) having to make any type of drastic changes

Its completely normal. My oldest son (now age 4 1/2) didn't sleep through the night until he was 18 months old. My youngest - now 12 months still does not sleep through the night. He is now waking 2-3 times per night. However, for most of December and jan he was waking 5+ times and was consistently awake from 1-4am every single night. Both kids are/were breastfed. We did not cosleep. I found it impossible to get a comfortable nursing position in bed.

I never found solids or milk to make any difference in how much they sleep. Some babies sleep through the night at a young age, some don't. It looks like youi've read the No Cry Sleep Solution - maybe there are a few other things to try to help improve your son's sleep. I also know with my older son that he *could not* fall asleep without nursing. The youngest is slighly less attached to nursing (and takes a paci) and is a bit better at getting himself back to sleep.

I hope you get some rest - exhaustion is hard on a Mama.
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