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Anyone regret their homebirth? - Page 3

post #41 of 121
I regret my choice of midwife and my lack of education about more delayed cord clamping and especially of retained placenta. I absolutely do not regret having my baby at home and I'm so proud of my sister in law for having hers at home 2 days ago!
post #42 of 121
Not a single regret of homebirthing!

I regret hiring my midwife if anything!
post #43 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by hanno View Post
I regret my choice of midwife and my lack of education about more delayed cord clamping and especially of retained placenta. I absolutely do not regret having my baby at home and I'm so proud of my sister in law for having hers at home 2 days ago!
mine was unassisted and after having these two problems, I wish I'd been more resourceful in finding a midwife. Things went okay in the long run so my regrets are none. We always wish we'd done things differently, don't we?
post #44 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by rrandle View Post
I am having my first homebirth in a few weeks after two hospital deliveries. I'm wondering if anyone regrets having a homebirth! I just think it's going to be so wonderful (the overall experience) and everywhere I turn, I hear that people love it. I'm just wondering if there is a flip side to it... I have heard virtually no negative from people who have had one...
I just wanted to say my first two were also hospital births. I went on to have 3 homebirths. It will be very different and I think you will wonder why you didn't homebirth sooner
post #45 of 121
Nope. I've had all 3 babes at home. No regrets about having home births. All were with midwives and sure, I would have done things differently. But still would have wanted them to be born at home.
post #46 of 121
No way.
post #47 of 121
nope! not one single regret!
post #48 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobandjess99 View Post
In some ways, no, but honestly, in some ways, YES, i do regret my homebirths.
Jess, I appreciate your honesty and courage in sharing your experiences.
I'm sure it's hard to be the dissenting opinion when everyone else is talking about how blissful their own HB experiences were.

I hope that you will continue to find healing.

I also hope that someday women will have enough control over their reproductive choices that NO ONE has to look back on their birth experience with regret. Every woman deserves compassionate care, and a range of choices about how and where to bith, and how she wishes to manage the pain of labor.
post #49 of 121
With ds I attempted a homebirth and ended up with a hospital transfer. Dd was a successful homebirth.

I am only 2 weeks postpartum and I have mixed feelings about my experiences. We plan on having 1 more baby and although we will probably end up going the homebirth route a third time, I can't say that I am overjoyed about it. Not at this point, at least.

My husband, mom, midwife and doula were all WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL people and great labor supporters. But, like a previous poster, I feel a little betrayed about the sheer amount of pain that I am expected to endure here at home in order to birth our babies. I transferred with ds (very late in my labor) for a variety of reasons but one of the interventions I had when I arrived was an epidural, along with Nubain, internal fetal monitoring, pit, IV abx, fluids, etc., etc. Dd, however, was drug and intervention free and at home. With ds, I was napping and talking and laughing between pushes. With dd, I was screaming, throwing up, swearing, and crying. I don't want to be a hospital birth advocate, because I'm not, but it is what it is. I homebirth because I am convinced it is the best choice for my family, but I am not looking forward to it as a glorious moment that I am lucky to experience.

I hope I am not being scary or a downer, especially for first time moms. I'm only being honest about my particular feelings, and it appears I am in the great minority
post #50 of 121
I want to thank those who have shared their less than golden fluffy perfect feelings about homebirth, as well as all those who have shared about the joy and wonder of it. All these perspectives are valuable and welcome, and help provide a clearer picture of what birth can be than our popular culture provides.
post #51 of 121
i wanted to add my 2 cents. i had a homebirth that ended up with a transfer after he was born at home. i will spare you the details, but it was very serious. my baby was fine. the situation was with me. anyway, i absolutely do not regret having him at home and plan on doing it again if we decide to have another baby.
post #52 of 121
To the posters with regrets, thank you for sharing. I echo your sentiment about why can't we in the US have some pain relief like they do in England - -that comes without interventions? Just as a choice. Thank you for sharing.
post #53 of 121
I had the great pleasure of being a witness at the birth of my younger siblings as a young girl at home.

I had my own four at home.

No regrets at all. The first two births were extremely long and painful, posterior labors. I am glad that I could do it myself and complete it all at home. Recovery seemed immediate! I could walk, wash, and was unencumbered by the aftereffects of any medical interventions as drugs and surgery.

Remember, that there are no guarantees in life.
post #54 of 121
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by hanno View Post
I regret my choice of midwife and my lack of education about more delayed cord clamping and especially of retained placenta. I absolutely do not regret having my baby at home and I'm so proud of my sister in law for having hers at home 2 days ago!
Would you mind expanding on your regrets about delayed cord clamping... or anyone else. How delayed are we talking?

Quote:
Originally Posted by StrawberryFields View Post
With ds I attempted a homebirth and ended up with a hospital transfer. Dd was a successful homebirth.

I am only 2 weeks postpartum and I have mixed feelings about my experiences. We plan on having 1 more baby and although we will probably end up going the homebirth route a third time, I can't say that I am overjoyed about it. Not at this point, at least.

My husband, mom, midwife and doula were all WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL people and great labor supporters. But, like a previous poster, I feel a little betrayed about the sheer amount of pain that I am expected to endure here at home in order to birth our babies. I transferred with ds (very late in my labor) for a variety of reasons but one of the interventions I had when I arrived was an epidural, along with Nubain, internal fetal monitoring, pit, IV abx, fluids, etc., etc. Dd, however, was drug and intervention free and at home. With ds, I was napping and talking and laughing between pushes. With dd, I was screaming, throwing up, swearing, and crying. I don't want to be a hospital birth advocate, because I'm not, but it is what it is. I homebirth because I am convinced it is the best choice for my family, but I am not looking forward to it as a glorious moment that I am lucky to experience.

I hope I am not being scary or a downer, especially for first time moms. I'm only being honest about my particular feelings, and it appears I am in the great minority
Thank you for your honesty. I do appreciate it. It would be nice to be able to get some sort of pain relief at home, if needed or wanted!

Thanks everyone for your honesty. I think that overall, it's going to be a good experience, but I TRULY appreciate the reminders that it freakin' hurts and I don't want to get caught up too much in everything else and forget about that!
post #55 of 121
It often hurts quite a bit, but not always. And there are lots of pain relief options available at home; just not (legal) drug options!
post #56 of 121
No regrets, and planning another homebirth in April.
post #57 of 121
I don't have any regrets from my homebirth. It was a very positive experience, and I wish I could have more babies at home.

I do wish that I'd done a few things differently. I wish that I had started talking about homebirth with my family long before I decided to have one myself. Maybe a little (lot!) of advance education would have smoothed the way. They, collectively, are still vehemently anti-homebirth. My Mom is still angry about my choice to homebirth (3 1/2 years later).

I wish that I had assigned someone to camera duty. I have very few pictures of my dd as a newborn.
post #58 of 121
My first hb ended in an unnecessary transfer to an unnecessarean. Still don't regret it It would not have been better to have had the "care" of a hospital as a first time mother, nor the pressure for a solid EDD, induction, ultrasounds, all manner of testing and total strangers in my space all the time. I regret that I put all my faith in my mw instead of in myself but I learnt from that and my second birth rocked!
post #59 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arwyn View Post
It often hurts quite a bit, but not always. And there are lots of pain relief options available at home; just not (legal) drug options!
Sure, but nothing (available at home) helps when you're in the 7th hour of transition. At least, in my experience.

I ended up transferring for pain/exhaustion last time, though I didn't end up getting anything for the pain at the hospital - just had the baby shortly after I arrived.

I'm due again soon and we've planned a homebirth and everyone tells me how much easier it's going to be, but I'm not counting on it being that way. I'm hoping it's not the excruciating, PTSD-inducing experience it was last time, but there's just no way to know.

I choose to homebirth because I feel it's the lowest-risk environment for me and the baby, not because I enjoy NCB. I hate NCB (hoping to feel differently following this birth), but I'm willing to choose it as the way of birthing my baby because I strongly feel it's the best choice for me/baby (lower morbidity, lower intervention, etc.).

That all said, I don't have any regrets. I just don't look forward to doing it again.
post #60 of 121
I regret my homebirth. My MW did not stitch me when I needed it, she blew me off for post natal care and I got terribly sick, and she refused to prescribe me antibiotics when I really needed them. Also, because I'd been "out of the loop" for my whole pregnancy and delivery, I had trouble finding a dr to take me on post natally to help me.

My homebirth was brutally and traumatically painful, but since I didn't feel much pain until 8-10 cm (when I stalled and was stuck there for hours), I wouldn't have been allowed to have an epidural at that point anyway. Most hospitals won't put in an epidural after 8 cm.
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