women's health question

[JaneSmith1010]

I am 15 mo post pardum and still BFing but have NO sex drive. i have celiac disease and am on a grain free, sugar free diet with great results. i am not having wasting anymore and am 125-130lbs and 5'7". what the heck is the problem?! what can i do for this? it is becoming a HUGE problem in my marriage.

[nashvillemidwife]

Have you had a testosterone panel done?

[JaneSmith1010]

no, can my FNP do it? i have suspected testosterone issues before but not for it being too low.

[shanesmama]

No sex drive at all. Do you have sex still? How often, and when you do have sex is it enjoyable?

What things have you already done to help the situation, such as setting the mood, relaxing, etc?

Sorry if these questions are TMI, but it would help me get a better understanding.

[JaneSmith1010]

nope, none at all. I don't even want to hug my husband. i haven't ever told anyone this but I have never orgasmed during sex and don't really ever feel much pleasure at all from it other than the intimacy. however, i at least used to want to do it once in a while. no i really don't enjoy it at all when we do it. I actually get really angry when i know its about time. i have to add that i have celiacs and i know it can be associated with late physical develpment, i have larger labia, very small breasts (had augmentation) and narrow hips, oh and i tend to have mild male hair growth---eesh, i'm not as repulsive as i sound. I actually look really feminine. all of this anatomical stuff may have some contributions to make to my situation, but my bit problem right now is not being frustrated or angry when i have to have sex with my husband...well i don't HAVE to, but you know.

[shanesmama]

Well not having an orgasm during sex is very common, most women need to have extra stimuli to the clitoris in order to achieve that goal.

Do you get an sexual pleasure alone by yourself?

It is either one of two things or a combination of both. For most women the problems are mental. So there are a ton of exercises you can do to help w/ the problem. And these things take some time.

Some are physical problems and those can be addressed by your doctor, medications can be taken or natural alternatives can be pursued.

[shanesmama]

Wanted to add, you said that you don't like sex except for the intimacy part. Well sex is all about intimacy. Perhaps your putting to much emphasize on the sex part, putting to much pressure on your self.

You could try to do a little session, sexless sex. Be intimate with each other with out the pressure of sex. Remember 10th grade hot and heavy make out sessions. Kiss, hug, rub each other. And when I say rub, I mean the shoulders the back, it doesn't have to be in private areas. Lots of foreplay, but without the sex. start to remember how slight touch can be, just holding each other close to one another, kissing ones ear, or whatever it is the you like.
The most important thing though is no pressure for actual sex.

And it doesn't have to be what I have said above, it could also be as simple as just taking a shower together, washing eachothers bodies at first, and that be it.

See how this makes you feel, enjoyable.

Just take the pressure off of having actual sex, and do those other intimate things.

[channelofpeace]

Have your cycles returned yet? My cycles returned around 15 1/2 months postpartum and it made a huuuuuuge difference in my sex drive. Breastfeeding/ no cycle sex is just not fun for me. Once there was a little more estrogen again, i felt like a brand new woman. It was such a relief to actually be able to enjoy it again, instead of it feeling like a burden.

[nashvillemidwife]

Yes, your family doctor can do it, but be sure they order a testosterone cascade in addition to the regular levels. I'd treat if the numbers trend low, not just if they're actually out of range.

I've had personal success using a natural progesterone cream during the middle 2 weeks of my cycle and daily saw palmetto supplement.

[kltroy]

Just wanted to add that like a PP, my cycles returned around 15-16 months pp (and I immedialtey got pregnant). I started taking Vitex around 13 months pp to see if I could get them back and that actually really helped my libido quite a bit too. Spending a lot of time being intimate w/o the sex helped too. I think for women sex is much much more psychological than it is physical, so it's mostly a question of getting yourself into the right mental place. If it's *never* been that great for you, though, it's probably time to get checked out - I agree that getting testosterone levels checked is a good idea.