Balancing dental hygeine with gentle parenting

[triscuitsmom]

*cross posting in Gentle Discipline for solutions*

I am hoping that I can find some answers here about my DS teeth. He is 17 months old, has 15 of them (and the other 5 are coming through now!). He LOVES brushing his teeth, we've been doing it for a long time (well at first it was just playing/getting used to it).

The problem is he HATES havnig anyone else do it... he will clamp his mouth down and cry. I can only do it if he's opening his mouth to scream I am really struggling with this because he has orange spots on his teeth starting to form. I am missing the top layer of my teeth (born that way) and my teeth are not white (because of the above). I want his teeth to be as good as they can be as I know what it's like to be self concious about your teeth. I also don't want him to have to go through pain with them from cavities etc

So how do I balance his good oral health with the fact that I have to fight him to allow me in there and even then it's not a great job because he's kicking and screaming... which is certainly traumatic for both of us, not very effective, and I'm sure making it even less likely he'll ever *want* anyone in there helping him/possibly even not wanting to do it himself...

Please help!

[haleyelianasmom]

Eek, this is a tough one. I've had to be a tough mom here and physically grab dd screaming and carry her to get her teeth brushed. She keeps getting new cavities so we have to brush after every meal/nursing. What makes it even harder is that a couple of our tooth brushing sessions are when she is super tired and not in the mood to cooperate. I end up getting irritated at her, she struggles and screams, I have to use physical force... It isn't pleasant. And that isn't how I am in other aspects of my parenting. i'm all about Unconditional Parenting. It's just that she has no intrinsic motivation to let us brush her teeth because she doesn't get the whole connection yet (she's 2.5).

One thing that was helpful for a while was lighting a candle while we brushed her teeth and then she could blow it out afterwards. Singing the ABC's while brushing helps a bit, too. Something else to focus on and I think it helps her see that the situation is temporary and will be over soon. Unfortunately, I can't help but get frustrated because I know the consequences of NOT forcing her to brush her teeth and I wish there was a gentler way.