not coping well

[shell024]

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[jencen]

Mama, mama, mama...glad you are reaching out. It sounds like things are getting a little dangerous for all of you. How much are you sleeping? Are you taking any medications/antidepressants? What is your counselor saying? There was a really good issue of Mothering Magazine several issues ago about severe ppd and different holistic treatments that really seemed to be effective for the women who were having thoughts about hurting themselves/their children. I can imagine that it is extremely difficult to express these thoughts to others for fear of being judged (you are judging yourself so much these days it sounds like) but you need to be honest to get the help you need. How is your partner dealing with the situation?

[chrissy]

oh mama. big hugs to you!!

so you said that your friends don't really know how bad things are, do you think you could confide in somebody and really ask for help?

i am sorry your mom is not being more helpful. can you confide in her?

you really do need to get some help- for your babies and for yourself. i am worried about what you shared about the things you are doing to your little boy. i do know that you love your babies very much, and i do know that kids are resilient. that said, you have to take a stand and make a change before you do serious damage to your relationship with your boys.

i really don't know what other options are available to you other than support from friends and family. you said you are seeing a psychologist. is it somebody you trust? if so, how about telling her(?) EXACTLY what is going on, including that you are thinking you might need inpatient help(you said you were thinking of 'turning yourself in').

i am so sorry you are having such a rough time. you know you need help, now you just need to make it happen- for your kids most of all (as their mama, it is your obligation to them) and for yourself too.

i hope this all makes sense- i am nak'ing with a 3 yo talking to me....

[riverundine]

shell, i just wanted to give you the hugest virtual hug in the whole world. and i don't care how hard you push away, i'm holding tight and filling you with all the extra strength i can muster, sending you all the love i can give, and enveloping you in divine light to carry you through.