It may or may not be gross. That's a personal thing. There are parts of my body that I think are gross whose purposes I can't always figure out but alas, I don't think I'll be cutting them off. And that's just it. If I wanted to, it should be my choice. It''ll be your son's body. I was arrogant to get my son circ. and regret it. I was just at the point of figuring out it was probably not the best thing to do... and have since learned there is no reason to do it at birth.
Why not err on the side of conservatism? If someday either your son (if the baby is one) decides he wants it clipped or if it arises that for some strange medical reason (exceedingly rare) it needs to be cut, then deal with it then. Trust me, it is just as painful as a newborn as at any other age. You aren't saving him any pain. Ya see how it doesn't work the other way around though? It does not grow back. It can not be resewed on. Even if he decided to do some reconstruction surgery, that would not grow back the nerves. You can't take the decision back where as if you wait, he can make up his own mind.
Also, I know we don't always like to think of our children as someday having sexual lives much the same way they don't like to think of their parents as having one. Me personally, I want my kids to me as happy as they can be within healthy limits. I have robbed my son of experiencing what sounds like a more enjoyable sex life. That foreskin has many purposes. One of them is to facililate the act of sex in way that leads to less shafing and those very sensitive nerves really dig it. Yeah, yeah- it's weird to think like that but that is one of the purposes of a penis
I also think it is only common sense to not do it once you come to the realization there is no medical reason. It seems kind of vain to cut your son's penis based on what you think it "cute". If you are like that, why not just buy him cute outfits, get him nice haircuts, keep up on the dentist appointments and other such things.
I hope your wife reads here. I hope she tries really hard to hold her ground with an open mind and comes to the conclusion there is nothing she can say that holds up to logic and fairness.
Good luck to the both of you and congrds on the baby. It's a wild ride.