My three-year-old can't hold still

[BellinghamCrunchie]

Literally. After 2pm until bedtime she is a whirlwind. She can't sit to read a book, she runs constantly, when she is not running she is jiggling or dancing or swinging or something. Its especially noticeable when she's around other children her age - she can't sit for circle time, or to listen to a book being read, and lately, she doesn't even want to sit for 30 minutes or so to watch a video.

Could this be normal 3-year-old behavior, or should I start worrying about ADHD or something?

[Sierra]

How old is she exactly? There is a *huge* developmental leap between three and four years old. Young three year olds are a world apart from older three year olds, developmentally speaking. I wouldn't expect a typical three year old to be able to sit still for an entire preschool-level story, necessarily (most do, some don't), but if she literally can't plant her body on the ground for the story, that is interesting information for you.

It sounds like she could be trying to shut down her vestibular system. Think about the fluid in one of those children's battons, with the glitter. If you slowly tilt it from side to side, the fluid moves. If you shake it vigorously from side to side, the fluid is forced to stay in place. Vestibular fluid in our bodies is similar. With the proper intensive movement, it can be slowed significantly. Since the vestibular system is one of our brain's most essential systems and first to develop, many other parts of our brains need it. If its underdeveloped, for instance, sensory processing is very difficult. The way to cope with that is to cushion the amount of sensory input coming in by shutting down the vestibular system. She could also be looking for her body's sense of place. If you have difficulty with spatial awareness, you have to keep moving to let your body know where it is. You also have to do things like running and jumping, which give your joints a particularly firm impact.

What is helpful for her? Does she like bear hugs? Is she able to sit down to hear a book if her back is against a wall, or even better, hugged in the corner by two walls? Can she tolerate slow movement (slowly tipping from side to side or front to back, with her head in line with the rest of her moving body the whole time), or is that difficult for her (remember the batton)? Does "heavy work" help (carrying something heavy, pushing something heavy, etc.)? The 2:00pm thing is especially interesting. Is this just the "witching hour" or does something shift at that time of day? Is she overtired? Is there particular sensory input that seems to be a trigger? What does she eat for lunch and afternoon snacks...and does she ever have these in the morning (and if so, any similar reactions)? Is she a "clumsy" child? Did she learn to crawl and walk around the usual age? Did she take a while to develop her sense of balance? What type of sensory input does she seem to be seeking in her movement?

Rather than worrying, I say, let's talk about this and see if there are some bits of information that will be especially useful in figuring out what's going on. ADHD is a huge category used to describe symptoms that I believe have a variety of neurological causes. I personally find it more helpful to speak of causes than the labels used to lump them together...it helps me focus on what my kids' behaviors are communicating and thus, what they need.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

Thanks for the reply.

She just turned 3.

She began walking at 8 mths, and is ahead in all motor milestones. Her speech had been delayed but currently is almost at age level. She's always been very active.

Some sensory seeking was noted by the speech therapists, but nothing severe enough to warrant an OT eval, in their opinion.

She is almost certainly tired, beginning at around 2-3pm until bedtime. She has great difficulty staying asleep at night (wakes 7-9 times typically). In order to try to get enough sleep myself, I don't let her nap unless she's sick or is able to fall asleep before 2pm. That way we can get to bed at a reasonable hour - otherwise we don't get to bed until midnight, but she doesn't sleep any later in the morning even then.

We do provide a great deal of sensory activities, although nothing formal such as brushing - just a variety of swings, a lot of vestibular motion, rolling in blanket, etc as much as she loves. Actually, we stop before she is ready to because we are usually worn out. She loves all manner of physical activity- jumping, dancing, swinging, climbing, etc. We have a big tramp outside and a mini tramp inside, and have a hook system with a couple different kinds of swings inside. She has never been interested in a weighted backpack or pushing heavy objects, and I made a weighted blanket to see if it would help her sleep but it doesn't seem to have helped.

Before 2pm or so, she is able to sit and draw, or play dolls with me, or read a book together to some degree. She still doesn't like sitting for circle time or for library time even in the morning (the environment is just too exciting to explore). Its just for those last 6-7 hours that she is unable to hold still at all. It seems to be getting worse, though.

[bdavis337]

wow that's Mark!!

she sounds sensory seeking AND terribly overtired. you might need to let her nap. frequently, when a child is TOO tired, they nightwke MORE, and wake earlier for the day. When Mark gets way overtired he wakes 8-10 times/night, has horrible afternoon seeking behaviors that he can't satisfy, and he wakes early in the mornings. And yes, for a while she might still wake during the night and be hearder to put to bed, but she does probalby need a nap during mid day. Try it at like, noontime, so she's up by 1 or 2 and it doens'st keep her up until midnight. It still might take a week or more for her to stop nightwaking, and she still may wake (Mark is always up at least once or twice after midnight. always), but most likely she'll wake much less, and sleep longer.

Seekers are often very tired, b/c they use so much physical activity to get what they need.

Throughout your day, deliberately give her sensory things before she asks for them. Start you day with bear hugs and some jumping on the tramp. Don't wait until her afternoon seeking starts - be proactive. For us, I need to do something every hour for about 10-15 minutes, throughout the entire day. Sometimes, it's just leting him jump on the bed while I fold clothes, but other times it's deliberate, like bouncing in the exercise ball or squishing him with pillows.

[annarbor931]

Sounds like me 4 year old. He just turned 4 a few weeks ago. He is developmentally delayed and has some sensory issues (SPD) and language delays. I also suspect that he has ADHD but it is so hard to know between all the sensory seeking behavior and his delay. We are doing speech and OT. I had to push for the OT, at first. As he got older, his issues became more evident.

[aMothersLove]

hope it gets easier soon, i know its tough!

[kati6110]

Have you had her tested for food sensitivies? It could be *really* worth your while. My 4 yo did not sleep through the night until we found out he was sensitive to many many foods and took them out of his diet. Food sensitivities can often manifest themselves through hyperactivity and nightwaking, among other things.

[Sierra]

I just want to let you know that I am in the middle of my busiest days of the week, and that I am going out of town next week, but I really want to find some time to come back and chat with you more about this. I am definitely listening.

[leafylady]

Is it such a bad thing? Does she need to sit still very often? Once you get over your need to have her sit still.....well, she'll be happy and you'll be tired

My son, since birth, has been on-the-go for every waking moment of his life. He always fought sleep. Both of my kids had to give up naps at 2 years old or I may as well have given up nighttime sleep.
He's very bright, very sweet, and has adjusted well to school.

I can't imagine him ever sitting still at 3 years old. I used to get so frustrated because I signed him up for things like kindermusic and suzuki violin- things that he could never ever possibly settle down enough to participate in.
Once I let him be as active as he needed to be, well, he just ran with it .

He does fine in school now at 8 yrs old. Yes, he needs reminders to settle down, tone down the volume and to keep his chair fully on the floor- but he does well nonetheless.

[bdavis337]

I think when our kids are so ansty they're unhappy, that's what wer talking about.

[mariaz]

I have a 3 year old who will not nap so I can understand if you are realizing that she is over tired but she isn't giving in to sleep. 3 is such a tricky age, but it does sound like she is sensory seeking. I would have the OT evaluate her--just so you can see what a professional thinks.

Our Ot has been invaluable in giving us hints for how to calm my son with spd down. And well--one of the things I had to come to terms with is that he is busy. So sometimes I just let him run or rock or hum if that is what he wants to do. My son is one of 4 small children in this home so I can't chase after him all day but if he is safe I don't see any harm in getting my laundry done while he spins in circles.

[chantald]

hugs!

My first thought was that she might be sensory seeking too. This sounds a lot like my eldest at that age, he has Sensory Processing Disorder. I found out so much about SPD reading the books Raising a Sensory Smart Child and Sensational Kids.

My son also has problems sleeping at night.. getting to sleep seems to be the biggest hurdle. We did a few things that helped him (keeping in mind every child is different)
We started regular chiropracter care. The change in how deeply he slept was dramatic after we started. He went from sleeping ALL over his bed, restless and fitful to sleeping deeply and peacefully.
We started him on melatonin, under the advice of our biomedical Dr. He currently takes .5 mg nightly, down from 1 mg and we are working towards getting him down to .25 mg soon.
We have a sound machine that plays white noise.
We keep a strict bedtime here.. meaning he goes to be at the same time, every night. It used to have to be 7pm when he was 2 and 3. If we were even 1/2 hour late it would take hours for him to fall asleep and he never slept well.

He also never napped.. and the afternoons were very hard.. doing all the above really helped.. and now, at nearly 7.. he does much better. I also made a weighted blanket that has really helped my son. His school also follows a sensory diet to help keep his sensory system regulated all day long.. so he doesn't come home and "loose" it sensory wise.. I can tell on the days they don't do what they should.. he is quite hyperactive when he comes home.
Changes in routine also trigger his activity level, this has to do with anxiety issues as well..

I hope this helps..hang in there..