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I feel like my head is going to explode and my heart break. - Page 2

post #21 of 22
The way that I'd approach it next time it happens is to direct him to take some cool off time by himself, then when he's ready to be nice again he can come back. When he's cooled off, try asking what caused him to angry and frustrated to see if you can narrow down what the underlying trigger is.

Often times with kids who've been diagnosed with ADHD, the common outburst inducing issue is they were focused on doing something and making progress, then something happened like a parent interrupted to ask the child to do a chore or a sibling wanted to ask their brother or sister a question, or a teacher wanted the child to be doing something different... or it could even be something really minuscule like someone walked into the same room to grab an item and once that interrupting event occurs the child is flooded with a really overwhelming feeling of frustration and an outburst of yelling and/or tantruming can ensue.

The best thing you can do is to teach the child how to react constructively when they're feeling frustrated. Teaching them that if someone interrupts you and you feel frustrated, it's okay to to say to stop and say, "I'm sorry, I feel frustrated right now. Can I take five minutes to calm down and collect my thoughts?" because it's a better way to handle something than to throw a tantrum or to yell at someone.

That said, you're not a bad mom. : It's really hard not to get frustrated when your son is constantly throwing fits.
post #22 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by nikkiana View Post
The way that I'd approach it next time it happens is to direct him to take some cool off time by himself, then when he's ready to be nice again he can come back. When he's cooled off, try asking what caused him to angry and frustrated to see if you can narrow down what the underlying trigger is.

Often times with kids who've been diagnosed with ADHD, the common outburst inducing issue is they were focused on doing something and making progress, then something happened like a parent interrupted to ask the child to do a chore or a sibling wanted to ask their brother or sister a question, or a teacher wanted the child to be doing something different... or it could even be something really minuscule like someone walked into the same room to grab an item and once that interrupting event occurs the child is flooded with a really overwhelming feeling of frustration and an outburst of yelling and/or tantruming can ensue.

The best thing you can do is to teach the child how to react constructively when they're feeling frustrated. Teaching them that if someone interrupts you and you feel frustrated, it's okay to to say to stop and say, "I'm sorry, I feel frustrated right now. Can I take five minutes to calm down and collect my thoughts?" because it's a better way to handle something than to throw a tantrum or to yell at someone.

That said, you're not a bad mom. : It's really hard not to get frustrated when your son is constantly throwing fits.
This is the exact solution we are working on. His teachers, as well, are working towards that. They often tell him he can take a stroll around the school until he calms down if that will help. I have seen him lately taking deep breaths to calm down. I love to see him actually using some of the techniques we've been working with him. We're also trying valarien root in the morning. I've been reading up on the studies about it's effect on children. I'm afraid to put much stock in it as it's only been a week or so.

I'm working on a place of peace for him. For some reason, he hates to be alone. Literally the idea of being alone sends him into a state of absolute fear. I am trying to make a quiet place for him somewhere near the family area. I'm thinking perhaps a corner next to the book shelf that will allow him to be near us, and yet sheltered. He loves to read, so I thought near his books might entice him to them to escape a few minutes to distance himself in his mind if not in his body.

I wish so much that I could find a quiet place inside him for him, but I guess that is a journey I can only help him and support him on his way with.
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