What do you plan to/what have you done postpartum?

[Teenytoona]

I'm trying to decide how I want the postpartum bit to go. My fam's SO excited about the baby coming and I'd love to have some visitors, I think. But really, the more I read and think on it, the more I want to have some babymooning, working on breastfeeding brand new family time. I guess I'd be ok with some visitors, but really, I don't want to have to feel like I need to cover my boobs the whole time, which is what it seems like the women in my family end up doing for the sake of balancing wanna seers with the early nursing. Maybe I will send an e-mail saying limiting visitors week 1, but weeks after that you will have to deal with seeing boob, so get over it now. heh...

What did you all, or what will you all do? What has been ideal for you? I do want to have baby visitors, but don't know how I want it to go ideally...

[flapjack]

Honestly? Tell people that you have no idea what to expect; you think you like the idea of visitors but can they ring first and ask if you're up to it? ALSO, warn them that you're breastfeeding and that it's really important to you that you get this right...

[smokeylo]

We have told people that we want a week to ourselves, and that we'll then arrange for visitors once the baby is here. I really want my Mom to be the first person to visit after the baby is born, and put off my in-laws until I'm a little more secure. My sis is making plans to come in March. I don't mind friends dropping by (we don't have family in the area) earlier than a week, but in terms of family/long term guests, I want to feel more secure as a new Mom before dealing with all that! And yes, free boob time and all that.

It has been hard telling my in-laws especially that, no, we don't want them flying up the day after the baby is born. But they kind of have no choice . I don't plan on anyone really knowing I'm in labor (except maybe my sister), so we will control all the information and scheduling and that's that -- if people don't like it, we seriously won't open the door to them!!

Good luck!!!! I can't wait to be post partum .

[phillybama]

Both sets of our parents (and all of our relatives) live quite far away, so that makes it fairly easier for us. I think my MIL was a little irked when I mentioned that I didn't want anyone here for the first week. This is our first and I really need that bonding-time. I don't want to feel like someone is looking over my shoulder.

Also, I don't know when this babe is going to come. Here I am at 40-weeks and no signs of impending labor. So basically, I just told everyone to book their flights for March. If they don't like, too bad. I have that kind of personality, so my mom wasn't offended at all--she's used to it.

As for friends, I told them if they are dropping off food or supplies they are welcome, but be prepared to NOT see the baby. I would never wake up a baby just so guests could hold him/her. Of course, I have a few mom-friends that I will have on speed-dial if I need them. I guess I believe in the "if I need you, I'll call you" type of situation.

[True Blue]

Well, I'm one who is so excited and dying to show off my babies that I want everyone over pretty quickly, at least for a quick visit. Family is far away so it will probably be a couple days til they come, but the only ones who will come are my mom and sister. My IL's, well, we only got them visit us up here twice (they never "have money" even though they buy new lawn mowers they don't need, gazebos, cruises...yeah ok whatever) but it's totally fine with me...I don't really want them here! We'll be seeing them when baby is about 6 weeks and we are driving to Florida to move. I have another sister about 4 hours away and she will likely come down for a couple of days. For me though, the people who will actually be houseguests are actually helpful so I have no problem with their presence. I know they'll cook, clean, take care of the older kids, etc so I WANT them here!

My neighborhood is all on the watch for an announcement sound outside our apt, they all know baby will be born right here! They're excited!

[AlwaysByMySide]

I am living with my dad right now (no DH), so there's no kicking him out. Luckily, he's a great help with my 2 yo, and a good cook! And also luckily, my in-laws act like my children don't exist (who ever thought that would be a "lucky" thing?!), so I don't have to worry about them.

My grandmother is coming at the end of the month, like it or not. She is showing signs of dementia, and that stresses me out, and has been trying to get me to allow my toxic mother back into my life and the lives of my children, which also stresses me out, but she's 86 and won't be living forever, so I suck it up with her. I'm sure she is going to cause me more stress than give help, but we do things for people we love sometimes...

I'll have friends in and out, and we're traveling to see family when the baby is about a month old.

I usually just tell people that if they want to come over, to call first to see if it's a good time. I am normally full of energy after having a baby, but I'm unsure of how I will be doing psychologically after this one, so that's why we're all playing it by ear. I also don't tend to stay home too much, because I want to be out doing stuff after spending the past few weeks being exhausted out of my mind and not wanting to leave the house, so I usually plan lunch "dates" and things like that with people who want to see the new baby.

[rajahkat]

We wait 40 full days before anyone besides me dh or the kids hold the new baby. We're really serious about that early bonding time. With our first, I think our families definitely thought we were crazy "what, I can't touch the baby? Certainly you don't mean ME?" By now they are used to it.

I don't mind most visitors after the first few days as long as visits are short. But I'm like that anyway. Not much into entertaining, kind of a homebody. My MIL really annoyed me last time though. I guess she came by on the 2nd or 3rd day and I was still having pretty bad afterpains when nursing, and she would get all freaked out about it and carry on like I was going to die and needing to go to the hospital, etc etc.

The nursing thing has never bothered me. After I had my first, I was determined that if other people were going to be uncomfortable, that was up to them, but I wasn't going out of my way to leave the room, cover up etc. It's FOOD, yk? So, they all got used to it really quickly, even all of our single male friends are so used to the sight of bare boobs (for nursing, lol) that it doesn't phase them anymore. I feel like I've done a good deed by making it normal for them.

This time, I can just sit back and relax and not even think about the rest of the family (which I prefer) because we are now on the other side of the country.