Sick of this constant worrying!

[lotusblossom9]

I don't know about you ladies...but I can't seem to stop worrying about this baby. It's driving me nuts!!! I think part of it is that it took us so long to get pregnant and we had to go through fertility treatments so I'm ultra protective. Plus the fact that I was a special education teacher does not help. The town we live in has a supposed autism cluster (ironically I wrote about it in a college research paper before living here) which terrifies me. Then stupid me goes and reads the advertisement banner this morning on this board about preventing autism. I had seen 4 commercials this morning at the gym about the Autism Speaks campaign and the banner caught my eye. It was not a good idea for me to read because now I'm even more worried. Ugh! Does anybody else worry like this?? I fee like I'm going crazy.

[NullSet]

I worry constantly but I lost my last baby. So I pretty much expect to worry all the time. I try really, really hard not to think of the what-ifs. And don't go researching anything (like you are with the autism), it will make the worry even worse! I end up working myself into an anxiety attack when I research anything. I know that knowledge is good, but in some cases if it is stressing you out, then try to hold off.

Try not to worry! I know, easier said than done right?

[HidaShara]

ABSOLUTELY. I have "no reason to worry", so I am told, but all the things I am worried about seem impossible to prevent or detect. Autism spectrum disorders are a big one - the term "autism" just covers so much, and I know *so* many people with autistic children.... it just feels inevitable. :/

My MiL keeps getting me worked up about brain damage due to oxygen deprevation during delivery, too. She claims her older sister was damaged because her mother "held her in too long". This sounds like nonsense to me, but the fact is that nobody knows why it happened and she now, at age 60, still thinks she is 5 years old and needs 24 h/day care. I hate to think I could do this to my child somehow!

I know all I can do is be healthy and smart in the choices I make but... it doesn't help the worry!

Charlotte

[FiberLover]

I'm also a worrier.

3 losses, no babies, I'm not really surprised on my front.

I vacillate between feeling happy, and having days where I obsessively look at every Doppler being offered on Ebay...



*sending calming thoughts your way*

[catnap70]

I worry too since I am a slightly older mama and have some higher risk factors. When I start worrying I try to remind myself how important positive visualization is and then I say some mantras and settle down, until the next day or week or whatever. Even though I do try to think positively about it, I really believe that we get what we can handle, whatever that is for each of us, and whatever the universe wants will be what I get, so that is what I try to be OK with. And then I worry about what is in store some more....but, I do try to not let myself get too freaked out.

[lspelle]

This is probably not a very popular choice in this forum, but I just bought a Doppler. I got a great deal too. I figure that my constant worry that the baby has suddenly died is far worse for it than a few seconds of checking now and again. I rented one with DS, and it kept my horrible fears at bay.

[sbgrace]

Not in your due date but this caught my attention on new posts because I worried constantly too. Mostly about losing my babies as it had happened before and about autism especially. Then we had pre-term labor which was so stressful. Guess what? Two term healthy term babies. And....one of my boys has autism! And it turns out that it's ok. He's got other issues too...a serious metabolic condition which has been much more difficult than autism in his case. His twin's allergies actually have been more difficult than autism here except facing my greatly feared autism was harder emotionally.

My point is this. You can't control the future or what will be. But worrying can steal your joy. Don't let it. Whatever the future holds--always good and bad--you face it at the time. And you handle the reality a lot better than the fear.

[so_blessed]

Yes, it is very easy to worry, especially after a loss. It may be hard, but for me it is better to avoid researching things that make me worry, and put as much energy as I can into things like exercise, eating well, etc. (not that I'm doing such a great job at it...but I'm trying! )

[Tiffanoodle]

I think you hit it on the head when you said there's nothing you can do. I am a HUGE worrier. I worry about EVERYTHING. When I was seeing a counselor, she gave me a 2 week assignment. I was to write down every time I worried. Then I was to write down whether it was a productive thought or not. Most of the time it wasn't. It was just wasted energy and emotions.

I totally feel you on the ttc for so long. We didn't go through major fertility treatments, just Clomid. But I feel like there's no way I could live with myself if something went wrong this time. I have to remind myself, though, that many things are out of my control. There are many ways I can try to ensure that my baby is healthy. Everything else is out of my control, and worrying will only make things worse. It's bettery for the baby if I try to stay calm.