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When is your child too old to wear?

post #1 of 36
Thread Starter 
My daughter is almost 2.5 years, about 28 ish pounds, and wants to be carried sometimes, especially out in public. She likes to see what's going on and with her eyes at knee height I can understand why she wants UP. My mom always yells at her that she's too big when she asks to be picked up. I just keep my ring sling handy at all times.

The sling is okay for a while but she's heavy enough that it gets tiring and my hip starts to hurt after a while. If I put her down and she still wants up, she'll scream. Sometimes she's okay with the stroller, other times, not. And in general, I like wearing/carrying her. Again my mom with the parenting advice says this is my own fault that I should have put her in a stroller from birth and/or carried her in a car seat and let her scream it out and get used to it like other babies and she's spoiled, etc.

So -- is she too big to be carrying when she asks to be up? Are there better options for carrying her at this point? Is she too old to be making an investment in another carrier that we'll only use for a bit? Please tell me if I'm spoiling her. I'm really not into the scream it out advice from mom. We're not a CIO family from any perspective.


TIA!
post #2 of 36
that's just crazy. DH still carries DD (who will be 5 in May) on his shoulders sometimes, and if we go on a long hike he'll put her on his back in a SSC or frame pack. my 35 pound 2.5 yo still gets worn/carried pretty frequently, even though i'm 30 weeks pregnant.

being attentive to your child's needs is not spoiling them!! listen to your instincts, ignore your mother
post #3 of 36
They are too old to carry when it causes you a lot of discomfort. That could be 9 months or 5 years. Everyone is different. And no, you arent spoiling her. We still wear our 29 lb 2 year old. I prefer it, it keeps her out of trouble.
post #4 of 36
That's nonsense!!
Babies are meant to be held, and there isn't a timetable on that. I still pick up and hold my 3y Ds and my 5yr Dd (though she is getting kind of heavy for me to carry ) It's important to them and really it's important to me too.
I wore my Ds until he was almost 3 and I stopped because he was no longer interested in being in a carrier. When I did wear him I fond a wrap or Mei Tai to be the most comfortable.
If your Dd wants to be held and worn then follow her lead. You are meeting her needs, that's not spoiling that's called connection, and it's a good thing
post #5 of 36
I don't think there really is an age. More when you might physically be unable to carry/wear them. DD1 is 5 1/2 and 42lbs now some ppl might not have an issue doing a backcarry but I myself am short and cannot carry her. DD2 is 2 and 25lbs still wear her daily.

I don't think your dd is to old to carry. She may be to heavy to carry in a ring sling for any long period of time and you may want to look into buying a SSC like an ergo, toddler patapum, sutemi or beco. A mei Tai might even work great for you. I would stick with one that would work for older/bigger babies/toddlers such as Babyhawks' Toddlerhawk, Kozy, Ball baby overall tall size.
post #6 of 36
She is not too old to be carried, but as other posters have mentioned, you probably need a two-shoulder carrier at this point. The ring sling may still be useful if she is up and down a lot, but to carry her for an extended amount of time, a soft-structured carrier or mei tai would work better. Even though he loves to walk now, I still sometimes carry my 35 pound 2 1/2 year old son, usually in a Toddler Patapum. Incidentally, he has actually outgrown his stroller by height, so that isn't an option for us anyway, even if he were to agree to sit in it.
post #7 of 36
:

Something 2-shouldered will be much more comfortable for a heavy babe. Heck, DD is only 22lbs and if I'm going to be wearing her for a longer time (and standing up or walking the whole time) I'll reach for the wrap or MT before the pouch or RS every time.
post #8 of 36
There are many times when my 3.5 yr old ds still wants the closeness of being held. Last night I had him in the Mei Tai for an hour while I cleaned the house. He had a bummy tummy and I had a million and one things to do. We both benefited.
post #9 of 36
Thread Starter 
Thanks mamas! I have never even heard of a lot of these carriers but I will look into them. With the two shouldered ones is it relatively easy to get your child in and out? Sometimes dd wants up, then down, then up again and then..you get the idea.

This is a great help!
post #10 of 36
I really like a good supportive ring sling for my ds for those finicky babywearing moments. He's just over 2 and is about 32#.

If you have an active lifestyle, I find a good ssc (soft structured carrier) to be $ well spent because we can go hiking, go to outdoor events where the venue is too large for a toddler to walk through it. And I hate lugging around strollers. Oh, and also you can go through airports quickly with a toddler on your back. The possibilities are still endless at this age.

My MIL takes jabs at me all the time. Just this weekend, she said "no one carries toddlers like you do. They just put them in a stroller." Well, my ds was fast asleep at this huge boating store and all the onlookers were amazed! I walked up and down the stairs of this monstrous store without having to wait for the elevator and squeeze a stroller in there.

I'll stop before I write a book.
post #11 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyberfish View Post
With the two shouldered ones is it relatively easy to get your child in and out?
I would love to know this too... we have never successfully used any sling/carrier, instead I've just grown Popeye arms. But DD is 18 months, growing bigger, and a two-shoulder carrier might help us both.

But - (as PP asked) which one has easy on/off?
post #12 of 36
Well, it depends (of course lol)...

Wraps are harder to get on, well they're not HARD but there's a learning curve... but once they're on, you can keep them on and baby can easily pop in and out as required. (Depending on the particular hold -- the basic cross carries are very poppable, a back ruck carry isn't, but it is fast to do up a ruck once you've got the hang of it).


A mei tai is faster to put on, and can also be left on. It's a wee bit trickier to pop baby in and out, but it can certainly be done -- I find that, for front carries, if I tie it under DD's bum then it's easily poppable. If I tie behind her back, it isn't.

Back carries in a mei tai are not 'poppable' per se... I have, on a couple occasions, managed to just take the straps down off my shoulders to get her out, then put her back in and pull up the straps... but it wasn't easy. Usually I leave it tied around my waist and redo the top straps. But it's pretty quick.
post #13 of 36
For popability, I like my Ellaroo Mei Hip the best. That's what I wear if he's going to wanting up/ down a lot. (It is one shouldered, but it is MUCH more comfortable to me than a pouch or ring sling b/c it has a waist strap that takes a lot of the weight).

For longer treks, though, I prefer my Ball Baby Overall mei tai. I usually carry him on my back (now that he's over his back carrying strike! YAY!!!!) but sometimes he goes on my front. On the front, it's not a hard thing to pop him in and out.

PS -- I wore my six year old (heavy!) neice this summer in both those carriers! She looked a little silly, but it was definitely doable! (My mom also said, "She's too old!" and was disaproving, but seriously? My neice asked, and I thought it would be fun! And it was! She enjoyed herself immensely.)
post #14 of 36
She's too old to be carried when you start having physical signs. For some of us, that's when the baby is under a year. It just depends on how much you can carry.

If you are having back pain long after you have put her down, then she's too old.

It's important to hold our kids, but I PROMISE you, your health is more important. I learned the hard way, to listen to my pain.

BUT, when I was younger, I carried my dd til she was over three years old.

But, JUST because she is 2, or 3, isn't a good enough reason.
post #15 of 36
Babyhawk even makes a toddlerhawk to carry bigger babies.

http://www.babyhawk.com/
post #16 of 36
Mei tais and soft-structured carriers (like Ergo and Beco) do fast and easy back carries, but it's not something you'll want to do if she's wanting up/down every 2 minutes; that's when you're going to want to use the ring sling. But 15 minutes or more? Totally worth it, and soooooo much more comfortable.

And yes, I think it's totally worth investing in a two-shouldered carrier at this point, for your comfort and health. (And a pair of earplugs for when your mom starts talking! )
post #17 of 36
I occasionally wear my almost 4 year old, 35 pound dd in a mei tai.
post #18 of 36
Not too old and not too heavy

A really sturdy mei tai should be good for you. My DD is 28 lbs at 15 months, and I use a mei tai for hours every day. I would think a ring sling would be difficult at that weight for too long since it is all the weight on one shoulder.
post #19 of 36
ERGO!

I carry my giant 3 1/2 year old son in the Ergo when we go on long hikes. He's 40 lbs and about 41 inches tall, I think, and I can carry him comfortably for an hour or two. (He usually hikes the first 1-2 hours, but we do long hikes.)

It really works!
post #20 of 36
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arwyn View Post
And yes, I think it's totally worth investing in a two-shouldered carrier at this point, for your comfort and health. (And a pair of earplugs for when your mom starts talking! )

Hee hee. Yeah on the earplugs. I need those for the extended BF speech too but that's another day, another forum.

So....everyone this is great -- thank you! Now I find that I need to go on a trip through several major airports (Newark, LA, and Las Vegas . I just bought this:
http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/...tegoryId=86211 : but honestly it's also a function of getting the car seat through the airport, with or without dd in it.

I've only ever used a ring sling in the airport before so which of these is best for getting around easily, running for planes, and getting her in and out for security and all that jazz? I'm liking

"For popability, I like my Ellaroo Mei Hip the best. That's what I wear if he's going to wanting up/ down a lot. (It is one shouldered, but it is MUCH more comfortable to me than a pouch or ring sling b/c it has a waist strap that takes a lot of the weight). "

But can you get these quickly and/or readily? Thanks again!
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