Playdough question

[goylesgirl]

When your younger kids play with clay, playdough... how much are you expected to do? I am begining to dread getting it out because I'm constantly being pulled to build this for one and build that for another. Playdough is supposed to be about self expression, right-not mommy expression. My 4yo wont even roll a ball herself! I've told them if they can't do it themselves then I'll put it away. Is this too harsh? The other side of me feels bad because I would enjoy leisurely playing along with their lead, but that just doesn't happen. Uhggg! 4yo DD seems to have other self help issues so I am really trying not to play into her helplessness.

[hubris]

I do think it's a little harsh to threaten to put the clay away if they won't do things themselves. (My apologies if you think it harsh of me to say so.) Rolling a ball requires a bit of fine motor coordination and I know my DS1 couldn't do it at 4 y/o, so she probably *can't* do it by herself yet. Plus, if it gets put away, she won't be able to dabble with the clay and develop that skill on her own.

4 y/os can be frustrating, it seems like they're so old and big and SHOULD be able to do a lot of things on their own, but they want help a lot. At least my son did. I've almost always found with my boys that if I give help, we get through the "I can't do it" phase a lot faster than if I force independence.

Some suggestions for the play-doh:
- do you have any tools they can use with it? We have a bunch of things they can press into the clay or cut it, roll it, mash it, etc. Some are actual Play-Doh accessories and some are household items.

- can you suggest to her that she mash/cut/squish/roll/whatever for a certain amount of time and then you'll join her? I bought a timer a while ago and it has been a big help with DS1 to help him SEE how long it will be until something happens. "I'm going to be working right over here, and when the timer rings, it will be time for me to build with you!"

- can you just give in to the way things are instead of wishing they were something else? Giving myself over to a situation is often the best way for me to get over my preconceived notion of the "right" way to do things. Is clay for self-expression? Sure, if she wants it to be. It's ALSO for playing with mommy. It doesn't have to be one or the other.


(Along the same lines, I don't think "playing into" helplessness is a bad thing, that sounds like what Naomi Aldort would call an "old script" telling you what to do when really, providing the support she's asking for would be a positive thing for you and for her.)

[beachmommy5]

I can relate to both of your posts, my DS loves playdough, and although I feel like it is important that I am there to help him, it does get frustrating/boring having to roll all the balls and make all the snakes! What I usually do is play for a while with him, helping him to make the shapes and things he wants, and then I will have him play by himself for a while I do other things around the house. That way he gets to benefit from my help and guidance but he also gets to practice making things by himself and be creative.

[phathui5]

I might occasionally help with it, but generally I don't do squat. I provide the materials, the clay and the tools, but I'm not at the table playing with them.

[amygabrielle]

My DD does the same thing. I usually get her started with the playdough and after about five minutes, she's off in her own world with it. By then she usually doesn't ask me to make her anything. Could you maybe start off helping, then slowly back off?

[artgoddess]

My four year old needs a lot of help with play dough as well. The set we got comes with a bunch of really cool, yet hard to manipulate molds and toys. He needs my help. So I expect that, and I only get out the play dough when I can play with him. I can't get it out and then go make dinner.

[tuck]

My 5 year old isn't a big fan of dough, but I think it's a good thing for him- so...
I roll the balls, he pounds them down or sticks popsicle sticks all over them. I help roll the dough flat and he presses cookie cutter things. He stuffs the pumper thing as full as he can and together we push....that sort of thing. He likes to cut it with kid scissors, too. I generally make something ( like a little bear) then he brings it to his blocks for play. Dough is very challenging for him! Plus, he doesn't like to play alone

[MommytoTwo]

No i dont think its too harsh. A 4 yr old should be able to play play doh alone for a while. My son wanted me to play EVERYTHING for him till he was at least 4 yrs old. I would usually do a few minutes and then he would either have to take over or I would put it away.

[lightheart]

I'm not a big fan of making certain objects or drawing certain things for the boys, my opinion is that adults usually do a better job at rendering the likeness of said art and when the child attempts to draw or make the same thing that theirs will not look like ___ so they get further frustrated by not being able to.

I will do simple things with them like balls or snakes or help to roll out the dough and make it really flat but it's up to them to mix and match those things to make things.

Is the playdough to thick and tough for your daughter? could you use bread dough or cookie dough that is softer and more pliable until she builds hand strength?

[rubelin]

I help a little with clean-up and that's it. We have one of those things that squishes the playdo into snakes and such and that's mostly what my 3 yr old uses, or he just squishes it up our of the "hair" things or flattens it. We have quite a lot of tools and that seems to make a difference.

[lerlerler]

I find the "make your own" playdough is much softer and more pliable...

My 3 year old loves to play with it... the packaged stuff? not so much..

PLUS, she really loves to help make it... 45 minutes on chosing and mixing colors

[MtBikeLover]

My kids don't expect me to do much with the playdough, except admire their cool inventions. My 3 year old will get frustrated at times when she is trying to use the molds, but even if I offer to help, she rarely accepts it.

[goylesgirl]

Reading my post again, it does sound a little harsh. I wanted to put the playdough away because it seemed no one was having any fun, including me. I don't necessarily want them to do it all themselves, and I'm always there to help when they need it, but, with my one dd especially, it's like she wont even try. (with other things she plays extremely well independently) For instance, say I help dd1 wants to use the cookie cutter, so I help her roll a ball, then I suggest she tries pushing it down, or rolling it with the roller so I can help dd2, well the whole time I'm trying to help one child the other one is whining that they need me and can't do it themselves. When I happen to be watching another child, it gets even worse. So, where is the fun in this?

I do think using a softer dough is a good idea, all the kids LOVE to cook, so I guess I will try looking up some easy recipes. Any suggestions?

[artgoddess]

Originally Posted by goylesgirl

the whole time I'm trying to help one child the other one is whining that they need me and can't do it themselves. When I happen to be watching another child, it gets even worse. So, where is the fun in this?

ding ding ding

That one sets off alarm bells of recognition. I have a 4 year old who will suddenly not be able to go pee in the potty alone or who cannot possibly play trains without me if I am nursing his 5 month old baby sister.

[textbookcase]

Cambria is almost 4 and she can play with it by herself.

I agree, try a softer dough. It might be easier for her to manipulate.

Cambria also went through a period of helplessness when Keira was born. I just had to make sure she was also getting one on one time with mama.

[lerlerler]

I like THIS recipe.. but use less water to start...
1 cup flour
1 cup warm water
2 teaspoons cream of tartar
1 teaspoon oil
1/4 cup salt
food coloring
Mix all ingredients, adding food coloring last. Stir over medium heat until smooth. Remove from pan and knead until blended smooth. Place in plastic bag or airtight container when cooled. Will last for a long time.

[WonderWild]

I got a bunch of the accessories to go along with the playdough. We have eyeballs and scissors and things to squish the playdough through. It seems to make if more fun for them and less work for me.

[One_Girl]

I would tell them that you are too busy building your own thing and you want to see what they can build because you already know what you can build. Keep your things small and easy for a child to imitate like rolling out a snake or something else and point out nice things about the things they make but keep quiet about any part that is done by you. You might also consider just letting clay come out when you are busy doing something else and not even go to the table at all to see what is going on or just sitting and watching but not doing the clay. There are lots of fun things to do with kids so you shouldn't feel guilty if you have a few things that they just do themselves.

[tuck]

Seems to me that if your dd is asking for help, and you say with other things she plays well independently, there's got to be a reason.
Maybe its too challenging ( as far as hand strength), or she can't think of what to do with it. Obviously, I don't know your daughter but I always try to remember everyone does the best they can and even though it may seem silly to us as parents- who knows?
As far as both of them whining, that would not seem fun. Could you take out the dough with one at a time until they got more independent with it? Just a thought...