Whats Wrong With Me?

[StephNelson]

Well I am not sure where to start.

We tried VERY hard to get and stay pregnant, I had 3 losses in 1.5 years then finally a succesful pregnancy that resulted in a wonderful little boy last June. He is 7.5 months old.
I felt depressed almost the whole pregnancy, not sure why, but I tried to ignore it. I had a wonderful home birth snd then 6 weeks later we moved 2 states over for DHs job. I have felt more and more depressed since the birth.
To top all of this off around 8 weeks PP I thought I felt pregnant and low and behold I was~ Pregnant again... so right now I have a 7.5 month old and I am in my last trimester with #2!!!!

I feel overwhelmed, depressed, sad, unable to do what I need to most days, there are many days when I do not even brush my hair or teeth, I feel fat and gross..

I have a very supportive DH, but I have no idea how to help myself or get help.. Can I get help? Do I have PPD?

I feel so ungrateful for the wonderful gift of my DS and the current pregnancy, but I am not coping now how will I be able to with 2 in less than 3 months?

~Steph

[~Heyokha~]

oh mama...Hugs I would talk to a professional about this. I have PPD and COULD not imagine being pregnant while trying to manage untreated PPD. You really have a lot of changes in your life right now, situational, physiological, etc.... Please talk to someone about this- you don't have to feel this way. I am just now being treated for ppd and my baby is 9 mo. I wish I would have went sooner. Hugs to you

[jennybean0722]

Oh momma. In my opinion I think you have PPD. There are plenty of online 'tests' that can help you determine it before you see someone.

You have had so much to deal with. Soooo much loss, that you were probably emotionally "numb" to this pregnancy. I would even seek counseling to just talk to someone about it!!!! I have a girlfriend of mine who went through alot of loss recently including cervical cancer, and although she knew she'd probably end up on an antidepressant(I did too!), she is going to see a counselor and she says she doesn't regret a second and felt better the moment she walked in.

Not to mention you just MOVED!!!!!!! That is HUGE. You have little to no support besides DH. With me, just the possibility of moving to a completely different town (small too!) was enough to send me over the edge into depression(amongst other things.).

What helped me the most was first going to see my family physician (my OB was a waste of time) and talk to them about it. I did get on an anti-depressant but it helped tremendously.

You can make it through this! I have even heard of women who get on meds during their pregnancy. Maybe some of the moms here can help you out. You have already made the first step and posting here.....have you talked to your DH about it? That helped me tremendously too, even though he wasn't convinced I even was depressed! No one knows unless they have been through it themselves....

Please let us know how you are doing...

Jenny

[StephNelson]

Thanks mamas... Do you know where I can look online to take a test or something?

Thanks,
~Steph

[HMB]

I really can't offer much advice, just support and encouragement that you can get through this.

Just a thought: if you haven't read "The Journey" by Brandon Bays, maybe you might take a look. I have found that book so helpful on many different levels, and think that it can be applied to virtually any situation.